So I've been dating my guy for almost three years now and it's beyond time to commit or get out, but I keep hinting at getting engaged (like sending ring pics or talking about friends that just got engaged) and nothing so far! He ran xc in college, am I just not fast enough for him? Is it okay for me to propose?
how do guys feel about that sort of thing?
thx guys
It's not in guys' nature to respect women who propose to them. I don't know it should be that way, but it is.
Your life experience is the proposal, marriage wouldn't be much of a surprise with two mature people. What difference does it make who proposes?
Estupido wrote:
Your life experience is the proposal, marriage wouldn't be much of a surprise with two mature people. What difference does it make who proposes?
Because men and women aren't the same thing.
You proposing is less extreme than telling him if he does not propose you are ending the relationship. If he says no then you must decide if you want the relationship to continue or look for a marriage minded guy.
Todays world is one of redefined relationship norms.
A couple I know has been engaged for almost 40 years.
Yea this dude is right. If you propose it would be better than telling him to "propose to you or you'll leave." That's no way to start a marriage anyways.
If he's a man and wants to marry you he will say "ok let me propose to you now the normal way." If he doesn't want to get married then sucks for him.
But you should also consider if you want to be with a guy like this for the rest of your life. Don't get married just because other people are. Think long and hard about this... If you are having this problem it might be a red flag for other issues. But I don't know the whole story. Personally if I was with someone I loved for 3 years I'd already have a ring on her.
I was similarly sluggish and my girlfriend sent me a letter (this was in the age of an actual letter with a stamp) with an ultimatum of sorts. It made me take notice and I got my act together.
The saying "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?" applies here despite the unfortunate choice of animal.
Anyway, we've been married for 32 years now. Happy too!
2/10
You should have done it in February. On the 29th. Now you have to wait another 3 years.
clintonite wrote:
2/10
That's generous
Instead of proposing, have a very direct conversation with him about your feelings and where you want the relationship to go and in what time.
If the knucklehead just needs a wake-up talk, as some guys do, maybe it sets things in motion the way you want them to go.
Be prepared to cut the guy loose. You want what you want and if he's not going to do his part *enthusiastically* don't waste another minute on him.
Walk out now and never look back.
Or you could hint that you are going to start playing the field. If he pops the question , you have him wrapped around your finger forever, or at least until he wakes up. If he doesn't at least you are started on having options.
OP...
This thread is useless without your pics and PRs
maybe this: wrote:
Estupido wrote:Your life experience is the proposal, marriage wouldn't be much of a surprise with two mature people. What difference does it make who proposes?
Because men and women aren't the same thing.
We are with some different imperatives, doesn't mean we have to play by other people's rules forever.Once we became exclusive, my wife and I just had a discussion where we agreed to live together for 6 months and then if we still wanted to get married we would. After 6 months we bought rings, cheap rings no diamonds.
Everyone is making this too complicated. Of course it's OK for a girl to propose! Like others have said, just be prepared for where things go next if he says no or is not sure.
Is he rich?
If you are proposing for him to put in da butt, then yes
If you are proposing for marriage, then no.
future mrs short shorts wrote:
So I've been dating my guy for almost three years now and it's beyond time to commit or get out, but I keep hinting at getting engaged (like sending ring pics or talking about friends that just got engaged) and nothing so far! He ran xc in college, am I just not fast enough for him? Is it okay for me to propose?
how do guys feel about that sort of thing?
thx guys
1) It is perfectly OK for the woman to make the proposal
2) It is completely idiotic and childish to drop hints (like sending ring pics or talking about friends that just got engaged)
3) It is immature and counterproductive to "propose" in the traditional sense of the word of "popping the question"
4) Instead, just have a frank discussion about whether the two of you should get married including your respective hopes and expectations, timing, etc.
5) If the discussion of 4) does not work out then walk away. It is beyond idiotic to expect that someone should just "pop the question" and that this should be expected to yield better results than having an intelligent adult conversation about an important topic.
You're welcome
Ffdsfasdfasdf wrote:
clintonite wrote:2/10
That's generous
-2/10