More teachers are having sex with students. Should teachers be banned from friending students?

Coach wrote:

Any teacher who friends students or spends time alone with them is an idiot.

This is the absolute truth. I teach at the college level, have for 10+ years and am still in my mid-30s, fit, etc. I would never risk my career over an attraction to a student and take various proactive measures, like staying the hell away from all students on social media, in order that my intent (which is to educate, period) never be misconstrued. I can only imagine how stupid a K-12 teacher would need to be to risk not only their career, but in their case (as opposed to mine) jail time to bag some teenager.

I have had many people, from 20-something young women to old men who should know better, insist that I can't possibly do my job without being sexually tempted. My response to them is always the same: I worked extremely hard, basically from my freshman year in college, to become a tenured prof, PhD, books, mad dashes through airports to get to interviews in different parts of the country, and some actual teaching. I like my life, my house, my lady, my work. I'm not jeopardizing it.

Coachb wrote:

Two colleagues of mine ended up marrying students. This was long before social media. We have about 35 teachers on staff. Do the math

So 1 out of every 17.5 teachers will marry a student?

luv2run wrote:

Coachb wrote:

Two colleagues of mine ended up marrying students. This was long before social media. We have about 35 teachers on staff. Do the math

So 1 out of every 17.5 teachers will marry a student?

Correct. The .5 presumably being a substitute teacher.

Agree with this 100%. I am a tenured university professor, too, and would never compromise my credibility or career by fooling around with my students, even if it is strictly speaking legal, and within certain parameters permissible by my institution. It would still be a mistake professionally, poor professional practice/ethics, and in pretty much every case (I am inclined to say in every case) bad for the student. So what if a lot of them are good-looking? There are a lot of other good-looking women in the world.

Teacher. It is implicit in our code of conduct to not be friends on social media. Something about maintaining a professional relationship. I sometimes tell me students direct, "I'm not allowed to be your friend."

I think that social media interaction/friendships between students and teachers should result in a conversation on first offense, then increasing disciplinary actions after that. That said, I do give my cell number to students I teach and coach with the instructions of "don't text me about anything that isn't track", but I never delete those messages. It hasn't been an issue.

gubyenletsrun wrote:

Is this post for real?! Where is your data on this?

aggsdgdgd wrote:

This post is totally inaccurate. Made up stats.

gigfan wrote:

Citation needed! Do you have any evidence for this?

So there was one mistake in my post. I said that there was one new sexual relationship per day. I meant to start that with, "In Texas alone..."

Nationwide there 781 reported cases in 2014.

hghghg wrote:

gigfan wrote:

Citation needed! Do you have any evidence for this?

Of course he doesn't. Totally made up.

84.6% of all facts are made up.

They're called boundaries wrote:

Yes, any teacher that is "friends" with their students on social media is asking for trouble. It's an unnecessary step towards temptation. Why put yourself there?

Any communication should be in a public group. Same thing if you're married, any private communication with someone of the opposite sex is just unnecessary.

The future is transparency. Speaking of transparency why do the brojos keep on deleting threads without any explanation? I was enjoying a thread about a guy who got laid off his job, now deleted. WTF? Being secretive is a perverted old man move. Be part of the future bros

How to you coach a soccer team or put together a party for your kid and his friends without communicating privately with parents of the opposite sex?

Temptation is cool, we're married ,not dead.

Wow, I wonder what the record is between marathon wins. 18 years is an impressive spread.Apparently he thought so too. *ba-dump!*

Where was this stated? wrote:

Ackley wrote:

He won in 1983 (2:17:45 -- age 28) and 2001 (2:28:28 -- age 46).

http://www.runnersworld.com/masters/farley-simon

Whoa thanks !

I guess the 83 time would have made him an 84 Olympic trial qualifier .

Been teaching for almost 3 decades and it is simple. You either see the line or you don't. Stop putting new young teachers in HS. Have them start with the younger ages.

In my small county we have an issue about 1/10 years.

oldtimer234 wrote:

Been teaching for almost 3 decades and it is simple. You either see the line or you don't. Stop putting new young teachers in HS. Have them start with the younger ages.

In my small county we have an issue about 1/10 years.

What competent chemistry teacher is going to be willing to babysit a bunch of elementary kids for several years before being allowed to teach their subject at a level that makes use of their knowledge? Different grades require different skills. A high school teacher has to be a subject expert. An elementary teacher has to be a teaching expert. Forcing people to play both roles doesn't make sense.

When facebook very first came out, I accepted some friend requests from kids on our team. I quickly realized that was a mistake and ended that. The reality is there is no way to completely control the situation. Texting can be useful for a coach when something unexpected comes up, a kid is lost, etc. etc. A team facebook page (not the coach's personal page) or group text/email list is helpful for sharing information.

Most schools have some way to electronically communicate with students and parents that goes through a program/platform. For most contact that kind of communication is best as it is regulated and can be tracked. There is absolutely no reason students/athletes should be communicating with a coach or teacher on their personal facebook, instagram, snap chat etc. pages. On the flip side, the camp that wants to ban all electronic communication, prevent 100% of direct communication between a teacher/coach and a student/athlete is living in the past and needs to join the current world and work to find the best ways to set-up protection and educate about appropriate communication.

Seems kinda silly most coaches are against social media but texting is ok. I would imagine texting is the real facilitator for inappropriate relationships. Banning social media is just a way to reduce risk of false perceptions. I mean, it's publicly view-able, what idiot is going to be overly friendly with a student where everyone can see? Then again I suppose it could help break down the student/teacher barrier if used incorrectly.

gubyenletsrun wrote:

Is this post for real?! Where is your data on this? I have not noticed a higher rate of teacher/student relationships. I'm a high school coach and I interact with my students on social media all of the time. It's an important communication tool. I'm not a teacher but I know many teachers who use social media in this way. There's nothing inappropriate about it if you don't have inappropriate intentions. Can't even imagine it! To the "volunteer coach" higher up on the thread...please don't coach. It sounds as if you were not able to relate to the girls at all because they were attractive to you. Also, I doubt they were attracted to you. Get over yourself.

You are off base. I seen the same thing happen on my sons' HS team. A young guy that had been assisting for a few years had to step away from the team for a year because a certain girl was going WAY overboard with flirting and FB stalking. Once she left, he slowly started volunteering again but made sure he kept all interactions with the girls as professional as possible. He also made sure the Head Coach was fully aware of the situation the whole time.

Some of these teen girls can be damn psychos.

Is there actual data to support your thread title op?

fdfasdfsadf wrote:

I was young, fit, and attractive as were many of the older girls.

Doubt you were otherwise they would have been all over you and you'd be telling a different story or keeping it to yourself. Doubt a skinnyfat distance runner would be attractive. Women like a little bit of muscle, not the hulk, but more like a 200-400 m sprinter.

Neither of you guys are tenured professors. Stop making sh*t up.

oldtimer234 wrote:

Been teaching for almost 3 decades and it is simple. You either see the line or you don't. Stop putting new young teachers in HS. Have them start with the younger ages.

In my small county we have an issue about 1/10 years.

You have an issue probably once every couple of months, just that you only find out about one every 1/10 years.

Boston runna wrote:

fdfasdfsadf wrote:

I was young, fit, and attractive as were many of the older girls.

Doubt you were otherwise they would have been all over you and you'd be telling a different story or keeping it to yourself. Doubt a skinnyfat distance runner would be attractive. Women like a little bit of muscle, not the hulk, but more like a 200-400 m sprinter.

Making yourself feel better? Keep telling yourself you're not what girls like. And could you please define skinnyfat?

I can't help it that I'm muscular for a distance runner. Very much a Don Cabral build.