Everyone keeps treating you like you're stupid because you have an unstated assumption that is completely false, and yet you keep expecting everyone to accept it as true. Namely:
You think that placing 60th out of 100 runners in a race is psychologically harmful for an athlete because it shows that he did not belong in the race.
This is not true. You keep asserting it in various ways, and people keep telling you you're full of it. Hundreds of thousands of kids finish in the bottom half of races every year. Nearly anyone who runs in HS will have that experience. My kids have that experience most of the time. It's how a lot of good runners start out.
And you know what? It doesn't hurt at all. People make new goals and work towards them.
It will be unhealthy for YOUR kids, though, if you tell them all the time that not being first means they don't belong in the race, or if you expect them to wilt if they're not leading, or if you withhold your praise unless they win. Think of the worst Major League parent stereotype. That's what you sound like.
Also, you have really odd hangups about who's elite and who's not, and you care way too much about kids' age-group records that no sane person cares about.