Thanks guys. Sorry I got busy last night to respond.
So, maybe I'm wrong on the BPD. Let me give you a little background though. She was always physically abusive (mostly when she drank, but other times as well). She becomes very jealous and irrational. The arguments we have turn into illogical bickering from her end...it's like a different person. In the past, she would accuse me of cheating....and then go cheat herself. She brings up strange accusations when we argue...for instance, if something occurred and I ask to see her phone in the past, she will freak and say she wants to see my phone because I'm cheating.
She gets very angry during arguments...to the point she has called me such bad names and made me out to be a villain. She will tell her friends about our arguments and make them think I am a terrible person. Out of the 100 times she has been physical, I once pushed her out of my way to leave the room and I then became a "woman beater". However, days later she will act like I'm the best person in the world.
She will always "break up"...try hurting me by saying she is now single and leave the house for an hour or so.
Blah blah. You get the point. There is more specifics, but I won't bore you. Now, this was more frequent a couple years ago. The drinking ended...and we moved away. Things have been much better. There have been some bad arguments, but nothing as bad as before (until recent). This is why my question was whether she could really have a mild form of BPD. All the signs show she might have...but because it has been so much better these past couple years, I guess I'm wrong. Maybe just anger management issues?
By the way, I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack for still being with her. I know...trust me. However, when kids are involved...and I truly care for her, it isn't that easy. I'm sure others can understand. I'm to that breaking point though.