Are people who marry young needy/insecure?

Sounds like you are needy, insecure, and judgmental. Some people know what they want at 21. Some people don't. There's nothing wrong with that. There is however something wrong with thinking that people with different life decisions than yours are wrong.

odkd wrote:

Sounds like you are needy, insecure, and judgmental. Some people know what they want at 21. Some people don't. There's nothing wrong with that. There is however something wrong with thinking that people with different life decisions than yours are wrong.

I'm not trying to be judgemental... but does anyone really know what they want at age 21???

in this day and age you're severely stunting your psychological growth and world view if you marry and have kids before 30.

that said , do what makes you happy. even a divorce

realistic wrote:

I'm not trying to be judgemental... but does anyone really know what they want at age 21???

Yes, lots of people do. Lots of people know what they want way before 21. Just like there are people over 40 who do not know what they want. 21 isn't young. That's 21 YEARS. If you don't know what you want by then, then something might be wrong.

2/10

Millennials are getting married less frequently and later than ever and it isn't because we're a bunch of confident alpha males, lol.

And why are you opposed to people having kids? Are you one of those anti-Western people who wants to commit cultural suicide? Yeah real secure you are

My aunt and uncle married when they were 16 and they are still together now (in their 80s).

I guess things were different back then though.

A lot of the older people I know seem a lot happier than people my age.

Some people get real jobs and start businesses and buy houses and stuff in their 20s. How can they know what they want at that age? I'm so happy being a slacker and am by no means envious of them. What's wrong with the world?

I've found that people who marry young do it for the two opposite ends of the spectrum:

1) they are so non-needy and secure that they know when they've found the one, and no one is going to discourage them from marrying young.

2) they are needy and insecure so when they've found the close enough one to the one, they want to get things locked in with marriage.

Jjjjjjttt wrote:

I've found that people who marry young do it for the two opposite ends of the spectrum:

1) they are so non-needy and secure that they know when they've found the one, and no one is going to discourage them from marrying young.

2) they are needy and insecure so when they've found the close enough one to the one, they want to get things locked in with marriage.

You forgot the "wait until marriage" crowd. That another reason.

Actually many of the people I know that married young are better off than those that waited.

There really is a difference in brain chemistry and young ages. To fall deeply, madly in love is not going to happen later in life.. it's just not. When you are young you are into that person for them and only them, those that wait are hedging and they start to look for what security and social status the other may provide, not that gooey eyed love that is only reserved for the young.

So I'd say you have it backwards. Those that wait are insecure because they are too scared to start real life and they are scared of being hurt.

CatLitterHotub wrote:

Actually many of the people I know that married young are better off than those that waited.

There really is a difference in brain chemistry and young ages. To fall deeply, madly in love is not going to happen later in life.. it's just not. When you are young you are into that person for them and only them, those that wait are hedging and they start to look for what security and social status the other may provide, not that gooey eyed love that is only reserved for the young.

So I'd say you have it backwards. Those that wait are insecure because they are too scared to start real life and they are scared of being hurt.

The seven year itch is not a myth. Married at 21 divorced at 28 or in many cases as soon as the last kid is off to college's splitsville.

Yeah, 7 years is long enough to have built up a lot of financial issues. By then most couples have a house, two cars, and 1 or 2 kids. That is a massive amount of financial stress.

Waiting for awhile is very different. People do look for different things in a person when they are 22 than when they are 32. I'd say the stressful part in waiting is that you have to REALLY be on that kid thing pretty quick.

I know it runs counter to the typical yuppie lifestyle, but the people I know that are happiest later in life (50+) had their kids early in life.