Bachelor Party snafu

I am by no means a prude, but I think movies like "The Hangover" have you millennials a little confused. A bachelor party should be about celebrating the groom and giving him a fun weekend. It shouldn't be downright debauchery, though. It sounds like your night was not, though, so I am wondering why he lied...? Did she ask him to not go to strip clubs? If she did, he shouldn't have gone. Furthermore, if she asked him to not go to strip clubs and he told this to his friends, they should have had his back.

I have been to many bachelor parties and they have really run the gamut. I had one buddy who wanted strippers at the house - which was a really bad idea, FWIW - and another who didn't want us drinking at all.

It should be about the groom-to-be. In the end, he fvcked up but at least he came clean.

Just out of curiosity, what did he "come clean" about? What was he initially hiding from her?

damage to the basement???

Oh it was nothing like the hangover by any means. We drank Friday night, but didn't go nuts, there were some dents in his walls from a few drinking games, but not like we tore straight through the drywall or anything.. small things.. not major remodels. And I offered money to help for the paint.

On the strip club front, the best man made a point of going, I had personally never been to one (yea call me a virgin, real cool guys) but it didn't last long.. we all chipped in for a lap dance which the groom went back and tried to get our money back and didn't accept it. allegedly. No stance was given to us on that front though. If he said no, we would have done something else.

He didn't go into specifics about coming clean but I'd imagine it was about not going to a strip club and then ultimately saying that we did. As the rest of the weekend was relatively tame.

Agree it should be about the groom though, not about the union of the two, that's what the wedding is for...

Got it.

The only thing you did wrong is have the party at his house. It should have at least been at one of his friend's houses if you weren't going to go out of town.

He shouldn't have lied to her. That is his fault, not yours. Sounds like you guys are pretty decent friends and, no, the bachelor party is not about their union. It is about him tying the knot and you giving him one last weekend with the guys (although it isn't really one last weekend, you'll have plenty more).

I am guessing the fiancee has already forgiven him. Hopefully he learned a good lesson. Trust is one of the most important things in a marriage. I would much rather have my wife go to strip clubs than lie to me.

Still developing, last I heard she is still angry and second guessing the wedding... Probably a scare tactic as they've already paid for the wedding and reception..

appreciate the solid insight, I completely agree with your strip clubs/ lying stance.

Sounds like she is pretty terrible. Why would you marry someone who has an issue going to a strip club for your batchelor party?

Honestly, that sounds like a terribly lame way to go out anyway. Playing games in the basement with the guys? Really?

mellow seeds wrote:

Sounds like she is pretty terrible. Why would you marry someone who has an issue going to a strip club for your batchelor party?

Honestly, that sounds like a terribly lame way to go out anyway. Playing games in the basement with the guys? Really?

The night is about the groom-to-be, not you.

Brah, this is his first lesson about who is in charge now. This dude is screwed. Best advice would be to tell him to RUN!

We've told him about the power struggle in the relationship... he is blind to it.

in reply to mellow seeds; sorry we cant all have the reading comprehension of a 4th grader since I said that was just one night of the weekend. Good on you for trying to contribute though man, your therapist has got to be proud.

This may be a flashing sign to not marry this chick.

And by the way, the bachelor party is not really about the groom.

It's about the groom's friends finding a reason to go out and act wild and use the groom as an excuse to do that.

This story rings true for men of low social caliber with sub par upbringings.

sorry we don't meet your standards, have fun at your next caviar and Maserati party... I assume that's what people in the high class, such as yourself, do.

its really not a big deal. Shes probably just being a drama queen about it out of jealousy or she is having second thoughts about the whole marriage and is trying to turn this into a possible out for her. Either way, strip clubs suck

ryguyftw wrote:

damage to the basement???

Chlamydia.

sayer of brah wrote:

Brah, this is his first lesson about who is in charge now. This dude is screwed. Best advice would be to tell him to RUN!

Seriously. Next she'll be making him go public about his "porn addiction" because he forgot to clear his browser history one time.

don't even get me started mate

How did this party in the basement happen if they live together?

She left Friday to visit a friend so we just hung out Friday and then left Saturday after cleaning (I guess not too well) for the actual bachelor party stuff

Wedding is fine, but it sounds to me like she hated you and the rest of the friends all along, and is seizing this opportunity to drive a wedge in. I suspect that within a year of the wedding, the k my communications you'll have with your buddy are holiday cards. Would have happened regardless though, so I wouldn't fret about the party.