Anyone else feel like they screw up everything they touch?

You need to spend some time and money sorting out what goes wrong where with a couple of different kinds of professionals.

-Learning/cognition expert.

-Emotional expert. Marriage and family therapist.

Learning how your mind/brain works and figuring out if it is failing you is where you need to start. Be frustrated with yourself, but don't give up or compound your problems.

Here's an example.

http://www.amazon.com/Late-Lost-Unprepared-Executive-Functioning/dp/1890627844/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1454958951&sr=1-1&keywords=late+lost+unprepared

One book will not solve it. And, yes, the books are written from a parenting perspective. Same ideas apply to adults.

I'm curious to know what your environment was like as a child/teen. How did/does school go for you?

pop_pop_v2.2.1 wrote:

You need to spend some time and money sorting out what goes wrong where with a couple of different kinds of professionals.

-Learning/cognition expert.

-Emotional expert. Marriage and family therapist.

Learning how your mind/brain works and figuring out if it is failing you is where you need to start. Be frustrated with yourself, but don't give up or compound your problems.

Here's an example.

http://www.amazon.com/Late-Lost-Unprepared-Executive-Functioning/dp/1890627844/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1454958951&sr=1-1&keywords=late+lost+unprepared

One book will not solve it. And, yes, the books are written from a parenting perspective. Same ideas apply to adults.

I'm curious to know what your environment was like as a child/teen. How did/does school go for you?

Thanks for the honest feedback. I expected a bunch of insults (I'm sure they're still to come).

The book looks helpful. I'll check it out. And I'll look at the professionals you mentioned.

I've often wondered if I had an undiagnosed learning disability or some other mental handicap. I have to make lists or maintain detailed routines just to complete the most basic daily activities.

From the time I was a little kid, I've known there was something wrong with me. Being different as a kid is NOT the way to fit in or make friends, so I've always been an outcast. School was never fun, in part because the work was such a struggle and in part because no one liked/understood me.

I learned to stay away from others as much as possible, but as an adult you have to work and make money, which means exposing my failures to others.

Living screwed up lives is what brought us all here. Welcome to your new family.

Bump

what specifically got you fired from your jobs? Was it related to some behavior or something you said or was it that you underperformed at the task you were hired to do?

moving slower wrote:

what specifically got you fired from your jobs? Was it related to some behavior or something you said or was it that you underperformed at the task you were hired to do?

Major screw ups on assigned tasks. Each time I was told I had a good attitude (despite how this thread sounds) and that I worked hard, but I just messed stuff up. Story of my life.

ralphie wrote:

I have to make lists or maintain detailed routines just to complete the most basic daily activities.

School was never fun, in part because the work was such a struggle

Yeah, you need to see both of the professionals mentioned above.

Also it might be helpful to have an evaluation of your eyes done. I don't know where you are, but call here:

and see if you can get the medical name (if there is one) of what Dr. Brodney does in his practice for learning, and see if someone does it near you.

It's going to require some dedicated work and real changes. You know what the work is like already. If you don't have online tasks and calendar so your various computers have the same calendars/tasks, get it.

You aren't alone. Definitely seek professional help. It will make a huge difference.

You might be in the wrong line of work. You should take the time (with professional guidance, as suggested) to do a real skills assessment. You might be really good at something you just haven't discovered yet.

phfahfl wrote:

You might be in the wrong line of work. You should take the time (with professional guidance, as suggested) to do a real skills assessment. You might be really good at something you just haven't discovered yet.

Yeah, actually OP is. But, OP doesn't really know or understand where his brain goes wrong and can't adapt yet. Also, there's an emotional component to this that turns out to be part of the problem, because OP likely has experience so much failure it becomes self fulfilling.

OP knows how to work because of the effort required to do some rather ordinary tasks. Now the work ethic needs to be applied to change. It's harder than it sounds and requires professional help.

phfahfl wrote:

You might be in the wrong line of work. You should take the time (with professional guidance, as suggested) to do a real skills assessment. You might be really good at something you just haven't discovered yet.

Agreed. At the very least, the OP communicates clearly via the written word, which is worth a lot. He needs to figure out his emotional issues and find what he's good at.

Also, major props for recognizing your problem and not just blaming others. Many never make it that far.

ralphie wrote:

moving slower wrote:

what specifically got you fired from your jobs? Was it related to some behavior or something you said or was it that you underperformed at the task you were hired to do?

Major screw ups on assigned tasks. Each time I was told I had a good attitude (despite how this thread sounds) and that I worked hard, but I just messed stuff up. Story of my life.

So it sounds like this line of work does not come easy to you despite you might liking it. Step 1, re-evaluate your career choice. Figure out what your niche is. Everyone has something but sometimes, you get stuck in a job that you think you want to do but it just doesn't fit your skill set.

Damn man. I'm sure you don't screw everything up. Or maybe you do but who cares. Everyone screws up. Most people I've ever worked with are completely incompetent. The only difference between them and you is that you're too critical of yourself. If you walk into a situation thinking you're going to fux it up then chances are you will. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. But unless you're a doctor, nobody died. So ease up on yourself a little. Without specifics it's hard know, but I'm guessing your screw ups aren't all that bad.

No doubt some self fulfilling prophecy going on. You think you're going to cork it all up, so you do. See a counselor to talk through your issues. Sounds like you have some serious self esteem issues going on.

Like others have said, I bet you have a hidden talent that needs to be discovered. But first you need to address your emotional issues.

Best wishes to you on this journey. I sincerely mean that.

Yes. I feel like this all the time.

I found out very early in my life that I sucked at office work. I was never fired but did suspect that the first company I worked for was trying to get me to quit. Somehow that was worse than if they would have just been honest and let me go in the beginning when it became obvious I was not the employee they needed. The next job went better but I just felt like I was keeping my head above water.

I recently started a non professional job that my personality is well suited for. It started out with me catching on fast. I really like the job and seem to be well liked by the customers. But I tend to make minor mistakes in front of the boss as she makes me nervous. It hurts so bad to try so hard at something and still fail. But I think I can handle this if I just keep trying but at times I cannot understand some of the holes in my memory that contribute to mistakes.

Xxxx,

See the advice above. You need to spend some time and money understanding how your brain works and diagnose any easily identified process issues.

Lots of people like you and I out there.

I dealt with it some years ago now and am better off. Somethings haven't changed one bit, but now I know where the weakness lies and compensate.

Again, there's no cure. Just different ways to work/compensate.

Why/how have you messed up your family/personal life?

Wow...I'm really pleasantly surprised at the kind and helpful replies. I don't get much of that. I really thought I would get blasted for being a moron or a wimp or whatever. I'll definitely look into several of the suggestions mentioned.

Another poster mentioned memory, and forgetfulness certainly plays a role in my incompetence. More days than not I forget the name of the project I'm working on, not to mention all the details involved. Thus the lists and rituals to help mitigate my terrible memory.

As I mentioned, I was even "fired" from a volunteer position for being a total screw up. I thought, I can't even give my services away, how am I ever going to get someone to pay me on a consistent basis? I'm really that pathetic at life.

runnermama wrote:

Why/how have you messed up your family/personal life?

I just can't interact with people. The interpersonal/conversational skills a normal person has are totally lacking. I don't even know how to carry on a conversation or have a meaningful interaction with another human being. The handful of women I've been interested in, I've been totally unable to relate to on any level at all.

Not to mention, I'm really physically clumsy, always running into things, tripping over things, and breaking things. I've actually injured myself a few times just by being a bumbling, uncoordinated fool.