Married guys: what has made your marriage successful?

Cutting way back on running -now 15 miles a week with two days off .

More sex drive and time to spend with my wife and two young ones .

Age group trophies are no match .

Communication.......,Its very important that certain subjects not be discussed. There will be no resolution and it just upset both of you.

Buried it son, buried deep.

This is TRUE!

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnneerrrrrr wrote:

I'm guessing it's not only the sex.

Are you happy?

Is she?

Why?

I'm 26 and single, but my parents are honestly in love and happy after over 30 years together. What I've noticed:

-Mutual respect (with regards to decision making, intelligence, etc.)

-Unconditional support through tough times (doesn't mean there can't be compromise, but when the going has gotten rough, they've been there for each other every second)

-Always trying new things together

-Communication

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnneerrrrrr wrote:

I'm guessing it's not only the sex.

Are you happy?

Is she?

Why?

Communication is a big part.

This won't resonate with everyone, but the most important aspect of our marriage is our reliance on Jesus Christ. If you put your faith solely in another sinful human, you will constantly be disappointed. We have the same goals and expectations, and as long as we are Christ-centered, those goals and expectations will never change.

Only marry a woman with 1) small teeth, 2) strong neck muscles.

Its like your grandma always told you

Find someone you actually like..

The physical stuff gets old after a year or so..

Or sometime after the first time she/he unloads a blowout from chinese food in the commode......

And after all that, you really better like the one your with..

I mean as a pal.....and I had a real pal...

There are many things to a happy marriage but above all is a 10 x 400m track workout at 60s with a 1 minute jog recovery.

If you're struggling to get this then best seek therapy. If you're way off then get a divorce.

Very true. Sex and physical attraction will start to fade in importance. So there you are with each other. Do you like this person? Do you enjoy their company? Do you respect them? Do they feel the same about you? I've been married 25 years and my wife is a keeper. I always said, "If I didn't love her, I'd still like her."

sxa wrote:

Its like your grandma always told you

Find someone you actually like..

The physical stuff gets old after a year or so..

Or sometime after the first time she/he unloads a blowout from chinese food in the commode......

And after all that, you really better like the one your with..

I mean as a pal.....and I had a real pal...

Horse of no color wrote:

Very true. Sex and physical attraction will start to fade in importance. So there you are with each other. Do you like this person? Do you enjoy their company? Do you respect them? Do they feel the same about you? I've been married 25 years and my wife is a keeper. I always said, "If I didn't love her, I'd still like her."

A girlfriend on the side helps a lot.

Sorry: sex NEVER got old or boring. Never.

My wife, praise be, is a sparkling conversationalist, "wicked smaht," and a natural feminist in that she believes that whatever she is doing is the right thing (i.e., not what "feminists" tell her to do).

Gymnast body helps -- ain't gonna lie.

Married (since 30) for nigh on 20 years; she's an awesome mother, a conscientious wife, my best friend.

She encourages me in running and "man" pursuits; she expects a LOT of me as husband, father and provider. She drives me to deliver -- and makes it worth my while.

Gents: don't discount a...hmm... striving? wife? A wife who demands you be the best you can be as a man.

Oh, and she smells good. Yah. Known that forever. Since I met her. Just.... smells good.

I can honestly say, after 6 years of marriage, it has only gotten better. I've also learned a few key reasons why its that way for us, and not others.

Any mentality of each person being a half (As in, "My better half, etc.) is in for trouble. You both must be WHOLE people.

What most people call "Love" is typically self-serving and is actually infatuation. Early on, people think they are in Love because they like how the other person makes them feel. Then when things change and the other person isn't providing that, suddenly this so called "Love" is gone.

True love is Unconditional. I mean that. As long as you're trying to assert any kind of control over the other person, it is simply not love. If you are looking for or requiring the other person to complete you in any way, it is not Love.

happily married wrote:

Horse of no color wrote:

Very true. Sex and physical attraction will start to fade in importance. So there you are with each other. Do you like this person? Do you enjoy their company? Do you respect them? Do they feel the same about you? I've been married 25 years and my wife is a keeper. I always said, "If I didn't love her, I'd still like her."

A girlfriend on the side helps a lot.

This is true. I was engaged to a European woman

who insisted I have a mistress. We never could

agree on what country to live in, so, nice fantasy.

If you want success & sex just do dishes and laundry, it's that easy.

Solo trips to Thailand

I married a female version of me.

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnneerrrrrr wrote:

I'm guessing it's not only the sex.

Are you happy?

Is she?

Why?

There's a thread about post nuptial shutoff you need to read.

Do the laundry and dishes with a smile.

Basically, we both decided that we wanted a good marriage.

Look-- when you decide you want to be a good runner, there are a thousand little things you have to do. You have to train every day, get lots of sleep, eat your veggies, not drink too much very often, make sure your running shoes don't get too old, etc.

A good marriage is a lot like that. You both have to decide-- every day-- that you are going to do the thousand little things that it takes to make the marriage work.

Hookers. Seriously saved my marriage

A treadmill. Family situation when the wife isn't home? I can pause a run to deal with it. Time constrained, my run is right there and I can throw on a pair of shorts in 30 seconds or less. Wife is upset?, get her on the treadmill and by the time she is done she'll be too tired to argue about it.