Successfully married men, how much crap from your wife do you put up with?

Generally speaking your choice in spouse mirrors your parental experience. That's typically the origin of the feeling they are "the one."

Some women are mentally abusing and you may not realize it. I was in a relashionship with one lady who would yell at me all the time even if i was doing good. I started getting confused about what was left and what was right. A person can't function properly when they are mentally abused. I would go to a mental health institute and talk about the situation

I would say she gives me about 50% of the crap I give her.

She would say that I give her about 50% of the crap that her (now divorced) friends' husbands gave them. Her college herd of 5 has two divorces, one who could go any day but should be fine when his job lets him leave Mississippi in a year or so, and two strong marriages.

My boss at my first job after college told me, regarding potential mates, "Beautiful, intelligent, sane--pick 2." First time I ever heard that, but it's pretty commonly uttered. I think it's total crap. I cannot even recall the last time my wife and I argued. So I'd say my wife doesn't give me any crap.

So is your wife ugly or stupid?

Bandit Username wrote:

My boss at my first job after college told me, regarding potential mates, "Beautiful, intelligent, sane--pick 2." First time I ever heard that, but it's pretty commonly uttered. I think it's total crap. I cannot even recall the last time my wife and I argued. So I'd say my wife doesn't give me any crap.

Successfully married men are either dead or are widowers.

threadjoker wrote:

So is your wife ugly or stupid?

Very good. I was hoping someone would come back with a zinger. She's neither, though. Perhaps I just lucked out.

All women are nuts. It only gets worse after having kids and as their hormones go nuts with age. You just have to chose the variation of nuts that you can deal with. I got hyper-insecurity. It isn't that bad. A fair amount of crying and easily frustrated by very slight life challenges (DMV issues, tax prep, health insurance, calling the plumber, etc.). But almost no fighting or yelling. Non-starters for all men should be anger issues (yellers), controllers and material girls. No matter how hot, successful or intelligent, women with any of these three issues will always end up blowing up a relationship.

Bandit Username wrote:

My boss at my first job after college told me, regarding potential mates, "Beautiful, intelligent, sane--pick 2." First time I ever heard that, but it's pretty commonly uttered. I think it's total crap. I cannot even recall the last time my wife and I argued. So I'd say my wife doesn't give me any crap.

That quote rings true for me. My wife was easily top 0.1% in intelligence and drop dead gorgeous. When I married her I did not realize that she was not really sane.

Note: unevolved men feel an unrelenting need to disparage and marginalize women. It's time to look inward, losers.

Precious Roy wrote:[/b. Non-starters for all men should be anger issues (yellers), controllers and material girls. No matter how hot, successful or intelligent, women with any of these three issues will always end up blowing up a relationship.

This this this!!

Just give them compliments frequently about absolutely anything. It took me a while to figure it out but it is totally foolproof. How they look,smell, feel, cook, domestic stuff, choose clothing or furnishings, colour co-ordination, driving (lol), the tone of their voice, sense of humour, how the kids love them.......In fact any old crap. Women just love to feel appreciated and can't filter out the bullshit. Follow this plan and you can't go wrong.

If you consider all women nuts there is a good chance that you are the crazy one.

With my compliments. wrote:

Just give them compliments frequently about absolutely anything. It took me a while to figure it out but it is totally foolproof. How they look,smell, feel, cook, domestic stuff, choose clothing or furnishings, colour co-ordination, driving (lol), the tone of their voice, sense of humour, how the kids love them.......In fact any old crap. Women just love to feel appreciated and can't filter out the bullshit. Follow this plan and you can't go wrong.

This ^ sounds about right.

I would have put up with anything..

And it would not have been a problem

If she would have said jump, I would have said How high?

But she never would have given me that crap.

She died 1/15/14

Now, Im a season ticket holder in 3 different sports, hang out at the stadiums and eating places all over my city and am a member of a great running club.

I'd run, yep....RUN back to that small town of 1000 with nothing but basketball and 4-H fairs...If I woke up from the nightmare to find she was back in that house.

What kind of crazy?

Insecure?

Controlling?

Worrying?

It is all a form of anxiety.

My wife is the worrying type. This makes it easy for me - I manage most aspects of the home, and she is relieved. With our children, I don't worry about anything - I've never even read a parenting book. She frets about every detail regarding the kids.

Occasionally I have to tell her to take it easy and relax, as well as lay off the kids. But this is easy. She is smart enough to realize she is worrying about the unknown.

If you become the focus of her anxiety, you need to resolve it. Focus the anxiety elsewhere. If you try to own it and make it your problem, you will go nuts yourself.

gymnologyst wrote:

This might seem like (or be) a sexist thread, but I've found myself in a few relationships and seen many where the woman is not only pretty demanding but acts like a crazy person a fair amount of the time too. I find it pretty depressing if this is considered normal. Is it? Should we (men) just take it for granted that most women are pretty fricken crazy a fair amount of the time?

Better question is how much crap is your wife willing to put up with? I'm pretty grateful that mine doesn't complain (much) about my running every morning, 2 nights during the work week, and Saturday/Sunday mornings being dedicated to racing/long run/brunch.

fds wrote:

I would have put up with anything..

And it would not have been a problem

If she would have said jump, I would have said How high?

But she never would have given me that crap.

She died 1/15/14

Now, Im a season ticket holder in 3 different sports, hang out at the stadiums and eating places all over my city and am a member of a great running club.

I'd run, yep....RUN back to that small town of 1000 with nothing but basketball and 4-H fairs...If I woke up from the nightmare to find she was back in that house.

I am really sorry man. Really sorry.

In case the OP is not a troll, I have been married for 14 years and I have three kids. One of the best things about my wife is that she is about as blunt as a billy club when it comes to letting me know what I am doing wrong. So I know exactly what she doesn't like. I don't think she could be passive-aggressive if she tried. I always know where I stand and I pick my battles.

She is a great mother, but she spends a lot. I know that I prefer that to the alternative. I deal with a bit of PNSO, but it isn't as bad as that thread purported it to be. She is usually tired at the end of the day and I don't blame her. On the weekends I take her out on dates or with friends, and I find that I am more likely to avoid the PNSO on those nights, purely because she feels pretty and social and romantic. I am cool with that.

I think the answer is to be as empathetic as possible. If I am pissed off at my wife, I will usually take some alone time (a run or take the kids somewhere) and think about things from her point of view. If I still think she is wrong, i will return to the house and present my POV in a calm manner.

We fight, but never in a mean or spiteful way. Typically we have a fight and we apologize to each other a few minutes later.

I think the key is empathy.