Too many to chose from, but Cousin Eddie........
Too many to chose from, but Cousin Eddie........
" Merry Christmas! Shitter was Full! "
" Eat my road grit liver lips! "
Ever see Vegas Vacation? Worst of the bunch. Nothing tops the original Vacation:
Clark W. Griswold: I think you're all fu**ed in the head. We're ten hours from the fu**ing fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fu**ing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your a**holes! I've got to be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose!
-----
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So, everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.
This will be the hap-, hap-, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapped danced with Danny f***ing Kaye.
Yule..log. Not a log, I don't have a log. Well, not in the sense that you think I said I did.
I pledge allegiance to the flag......
when he starts screaming about his boss, and ends with HALLELUJA! AMEN!!!
Christmas Vacation
Clark: Are you nervous about Christmas?
Eddie's daughter: I'm about to shit bricks.
Clark: Watch your language.
Eddie's daughter: Sorry. I'm about to shit rocks.
He's got a little bit a Mississippii leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right he'll just latch on to your leg and go to town. You don't want him around when you're wearing short pants if you know what I mean.
Oh, word to the wise, if he does latch on...you best let him finish.
here's the quote:
"I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh** he is! Hallelujah! Holly Sh**!
Where's the Tylenol?"
so awesome, i was laughin so hard the first time i saw that!
Lost wrote:
That actually happened in "Your a Big Fat Loser Vacation Dream" You sick nutjob. Isn't the daughter like 14 or something.
There's a saying. "If she can crawl, then she's in the right position."
Clark: my cousin eddy's heart's bigger then his brain.
Eddy: I appreciate that clark
Eddie, can I get you anything? Take you out in the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?
Lost wrote:
My favorite from Christmas Vacation was the squire jumping out of the tree and the events surrounding that momment.
Alas thy squire hath freed thyself from all trees henceforth.
macker wrote:
Eddie, can I get you anything? Take you out in the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?
Oh, I'm doin just fine, Clark.
skunky st louie wrote:
Alas thy squire hath freed thyself from all trees henceforth.
There's the post of the day!
(after taking a swig of eggnog)
"It's good, it's good."
Looks great! Little full, lot of sap.
Dad, that tree wouldn't fit in our yard!
It's not going in our yard, Russ, it's going in our living room.
Where do you plan on putting a tree that size?
Bend over and I'll show you.
You have a lot of nerve talking to me that way.
I wasn't talking to you.
I love the lingerie "salesbabe" scene where she shows Chevy (and son) how the underwear rides up her hip.
Priceless.