Cross country problems please help??!!

Who?

I have two answers:

A) If you are a good soccer player, and you like playing soccer, and you like to practice soccer (i.e. you are willing to put in a good effort), then play soccer. Of course, it might be that you can't go out for soccer this year because the season is starting ... Choosing soccer means a tough conversation with Dad. It goes like this, "Dad, I've given this a lot of thought, and although I know you would prefer me to run, I would really like to play soccer. I'm pretty good, and with a little extra effort I think I can make next year."

I would have appreciated having that conversation with my daughter, instead of having to watch her lackluster efforts. We would love you to be in love with the sport like we are, but mostly we want you to put maximum effort into something. If it's soccer, I would be pretty happy. If it was hockey, I'd be even happier.

B) Enjoy your running by SLOWING DOWN. Girls in your skill bracket tend to go out too fast and it's just a painful slog to the finish. If you are starting faster than 7:10 you are probably going too fast. Start slower and run negative splits. Finish fast passing all kinds of 21+ runners.

OR, just run slower and enjoy it. Being out doors with a great bunch of kids staying in shape can be a lot of fun. So, Dad probably will not be happy with this EFFORT. You can head that off with another conversation; it starts with "Dad, I've given this a lot of thought. I really like the team, staying in shape, and running with you on the weekends, but I really don't like puking after positive splitting by over 1 minute and having to deal with being over threshold for 17 of 21 minutes, so I've decided to just enjoy it, and not race so hard. Where do you want to go run on Saturday?"

I wish you the best. My daughter quit cross country this year after running in 7th and 8th grade and finishing 1st in her JV section last year, winning by more than 30 seconds. It didn't matter that she was quite a bit faster than 21 minutes. She didn't like it either. I would have been OK if she had either of those conversations with me. As it was, I almost had to make her quit because she was not happy. We aren't running as many weekends together, but we are still running about once every two weeks.

Today in the car, driving home from younger daughter's first CC meet where she won the mile she said, "Maybe I can run again sophomore year." Maybe. Maybe not. It's up to her. But I'll be here to run on Saturday.

Good Luck.

OP,

I heard a story last night about a guy who found a butterfly struggling to get out of it's cocoon. After watching for a little while, the guy helped the butterfly get out. As he continued to watch, the butterfly just sat there. The guy noticed the butterfly's wings were too small and so he thought the butterfly was just one of the unlucky ones that don't make it.

When the guy got home, he looked up butterflies on the web. It turns out that they need to struggle to get out of their cocoons to help get their blood flowing enough to inflate their wings. That is what your dad wants for you. Something that you can struggle with, like he struggled with running, so you grow up to be the best you can be.

The thing is when you are facing a struggle it is often difficult to figure out what you are struggling with. You could be struggling with not liking to run races. You could be struggling with learning to pace your races correctly so they are no longer a struggle. You could be struggling with making up your mind. You could be struggling with telling your dad your decision.

The POINT is the STRUGGLE is GOOD. Feeling the dread is good. It means you care. I predict you will manage to struggle through and tell your dad you are not going to run XC this fall. I further predict you are going to miss it. Just remember this struggle is NOT OVER. There will be another version next year to tell your hang out friends or your new club mates that you are going to go back to the XC team.

Good luck