Not trying to steal the Haiku contest's thunder, but IMO, limericks have much more potential for fun and hilarity.
Limericks have 5 lines with an aabba rhyme scheme.
So here goes:
Alberto is clearly the master
Of finding new ways to run faster
By giving them potions
And rubbing in lotions
This all may become a disaster
Galen Rupp will win gold
Kara Goucher is really old
Alberto's touch is magic
A demise would be just tragic
Letsrun has been trolled
The NOP is a joke
Cam Levins ran a 1500 and choked
Alberto is king of manipulation
But Magness fails at stipulation
Galen experiments with scoke
I ran 16:08 at USA Champs
I told the press it was because of cramps
Caused by stress from Alberto's statement
I promised to provide a restatement for my abatement
Plus, Adam looks like a gramps
Pro running's becoming a joke
The cheaters are starting to choke
But it won't be the same
Without Rupp in the game
Or the African British bloke
If you want to win
Give doping a spin
Alberto can coach you
And show you the cut through
So you won't be a has been
Dopey talk wrote:
Not trying to steal the Haiku contest's thunder, but IMO, limericks have much more potential for fun and hilarity.
A$$.
There once was a coach named Alberto
who said "thyroid meds cannot hurt-o"
Then he said, "what the hell!"
"Have some of my Androgel"
Just do not exceed 4 squirt-os
Goucher Needles you're mad
Which makes me kinda sad
But limericks are fun
You ought to write one
Come join us and then you'll be glad
the price of being the best is high
it is even worse if you are a white guy
an athlete must have thick skin
to get up every day and win
to live under a microscope; sigh
There once was a lass from Saint Peter,
who understood rhyme but not meter.
Her limericks thus
missed the poetry bus,
so the haikuists soundly defeat her.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who told NOP they could suck it
They made a denial
But were proved at trial
To be doing dope by the bucket
Maybe Magness or Epstein is from Nantucket.
There once was a boy named Galen,
who wore masks and used mist for inhalin'.
His coffin was closed
when the T was exposed,
and his 17 friends put the nail in.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who tested some piss in a bucket
The lab said "it's hot"
So he told his boy not
To run his next race but to duck it.
Dopey talk wrote:
Not trying to steal the Haiku contest's thunder, but IMO, limericks have much more potential for fun and hilarity.
Limericks have 5 lines with an aabba rhyme scheme.
So here goes:
Alberto is clearly the master
Of finding new ways to run faster
By giving them potions
And rubbing in lotions
This all may become a disaster
....clearly there is nothing left to say here
except you all forgot about jager
we all like him alot
hes as clean as lagat
and he will be phil knights savior
This is great. I posted a limerick on the haiku thread and it was deleted.
There was a boy runner from Portland
His coach gave him drugs for a poor gland
A closely knit team
Coach rubbed on more cream
Very soon they all will be banned
Al heard about Magness' note
So in his defense he wrote
That there was no scam
In his master plan
Of making Galen the GOAT
There once was a project from Nike
Where gray area cheating was likely
It wasn't the shoes
All the athletes had TUEs
And massages from Salazar nightly
There was a young woman from Boulder
Who unfortunately was growing older
Well past her prime
She knew it was time
To reveal the dope that NOP sold her
There was a young miler from Bronxville
Who had trouble getting a script fill
Her talent did ebb
So she asked Mr. Webb
If she could borrow any Minoxidil