Conflict; Quit running races ??

If you run consistently, say 4 times 1-2 hours per week, including 2 moderate workouts that don't drain you, you will steadily improve and eventually run sub-3. But you cannot take multiple weeks off.

It's called balancing priorities. It's what all of us with families, careers, and relationships have to do.

No matter how much you train and prepare for races running is still just a hobby, as it is for all of us that are not running professionally or for a college.

Don't get so obsessed with your running that it becomes all or nothing. Find a balance so you can make it part of your lifestyle as you age. This is from someone in his early 60s that started running in high school.

Thanks for your advice, what would be an appropriate goal time for an eventual next marathon 🏃?

Why don't you train as much as possible and base your goal time on your state of fitness instead of the other way around?

If you don't get obsessive about racing, you'll get obsessive about something else. The problem isn't the racing, it's the obsessiveness.

Like others have recommended, figure out what reasonable times limits for running are, and become the best you can be within them.

Any other stuff in your life you can scale back on? Watching TV? Reading for pleasure? Gardening? Just hanging out? Maybe work on your time management to see if you cram in the needed training without sacrificing the things that are important to you.

Obsessiveness is closely linked to lack of confidence in whether you will reach your goal. Otherwise you just wouldn't need to be obsessive. But if you've run 3:09 after three years of training I can GUARANTEE that you will run sub-3 if you run several times a week consistently and somewhat pushing the pace regularly. It's just 10 minutes off your PR and you have 5-10 years left until you reach your peak.

If your goal is sub-3, I suggest you first focus on running a 10k that indicates that you will run well under 3h (actual 10k-time depends on your profile). Then do a four months marathon program. Don't waste your family's time on preparing for a 3:01. You should KNOW that you will run a sub-3 on a normal race day.

I'm several years older than you and I'm now trying to get back in shape. My first goal is a sub-10 3k. I KNOW I will make it. But I don't know when. It may be in a few weeks or at Christmas time. But I KNOW I will make it. So I don't need to be obsessive about training details or train at my limits. I run easy workouts twice a week, sometimes only one. They're so easy that they don't interfere with my job or my non-running life. And I have had consistent progress until now. Sure, if I were obsessive and gave it my all I could probably reach my goal earlier. But not by much. And I'd risk injuries and overtraining.

It's definitely easier when you're coming back than when you're pushing new PRs. But with only three years under your belt, you have a big upside.

A tempo, some long intervals, a moderate long run, and an easy run every week, will get you there. Throw in relaxed striders, hill sprints, or even short sprints as often as you can. It's common for older runners to neglect speed. You should be running sub-3 in less than a year. But only if you don't obsess.

I also suggest you read stuff like wejo's "Why I sucked in college", malmo's "Summer of malmo", and even Hadd's description of how to run tempos. They're all talking about running relaxed. You may ask what this has to do with obsessiveness. But I would argue that if you're able to relax when you're running, you won't obsess as much about your running. There's some yin yang there.

bump

Thanks for the replies, I made up my mind;

No more time on internet / mobile device for not related to goals..

(easy to write this goal..)

Less time on let's run.

Not thinking about running, training, but "Just do it";

4 times a week 1-2 hours running,

with 2 of them with some speed elements, tempo's etc.

Running 10K, half marathon, also do determine my pace for

goal marathon in oktober

Sorry, for the writing error, I meant;

running races; 10K, half marathon, to determine my pace for marathon in oktober

You could become an 800 runner or a miler. The training is less time consuming and less energy sapping. Personally, I find the speed more fun as well.

Sometimes the most rapid improvement comes when you're not worrying about improving. Running is a natural, freeing exercise. If you treat your daily run as a way to have fun, relax, and stay healthy, chances are you'll improve far more than if you're obsessing over races.

If that approach doesn't work for you (it certainly doesn't work for me), cut down your mileage a bit and focus on improving throughout the day in other small ways. Take five minutes every few hours or so to stretch and improve your flexibility. Read some good running books, which always give you new ideas on creative ways to train and have fun. Walk with your family, but do it barefoot. Go on Youtube and look up passive exercises to strengthen your feet and achilles'.

Competition is a natural instinct, so you're not wrong for obsessing over your times. I think you need to explore a bit and find a new routine/perspective that makes you happy - the balance is out there, it's just a matter of finding it.