enough, enough wrote:
Ken, do you have any friends? Maybe a hobby? Why not go out and get some air and come back to this a little later. It's not healthy and you are irritating the sh*t out of people. I've tried to support you in the past, but you're making it hard.
It's ok, you can post again later, but maybe just take some time to yourself, go have some fun. Spend a bit of your life not thinking about this douche bag. Ok? Maybe go for a run, you might like.
And no - don't reply. I don't want you to acknowledge this. Please don't' acknowledge this or even post. Go have some fun first. Get some fresh air.
Allow me to answer on behalf of Kenny here.
No, he has no friends. He's 300 lbs, he's been sued by the AG, the local press revealed him to be a rip-off artist of wedding couples, his wife left him, his family disowned him. He lost his home, his income, his view of his knees and private parts.
But lo and behold, he heard about Letsrun taking a piece out of Mike Rossi. Kenny saw this as an opportunity to get back in the local wedding game. All he thought he had to do was smear East Coast Weddings (or whatever the fvck they are called), and maybe Kenny could get some positive cash flow going.
But here's the crazy thing: Ken started posting mean things about his rival Mike Rossi, and the angry mob liked it. Ken, being the sad, pathetic loner that he is, mistook the mob's hatred of Mike for a love and acceptance of Kenny.
Kenny felt loved. For once in his life, he felt loved. He had friends (or so he thought). All he had to do was keep writing angry tirades about Mike, and the love for Kenny would never, ever stop.
Except the mob is fickle. We quickly deduced that Kenny wasn't one of us. No, Kenny couldn't even run to Taco Bell (despite wanting to - very badly).
The mob quickly turned on Kenny. He tried harder - evoking 9/11 and suicidal kids in hopes of re-winning the love of the mob. But it was too late - a vengeful mob can be a cruel mistress.
Kenny was bewildered - he couldn't comprehend what had happened. As he sat alone, devouring an entire bucket of KFC, he pondered how it could have all gone wrong.
And then, after eating the final chicken leg, smothered in gravy, Ken realized what he must do. It was so simple, really...
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That's what I have so far. I meet with Fox entertainment Tuesday to pitch this as a movie of the week. My agent says it will be a tough sell, because it will be hard to get a guy fat enough to play Kenny (apparently Seth Rogan isn't interested).
Wish me luck!