Ignoring someone you care about is one of the hardest things to do.
Ignoring someone you care about is one of the hardest things to do.
Don't do anything bizarre. You can call them every now and then as long as you do not bring up the past in a weak way. Try to be friends. This could lead to friends with benefits. The last thing an ex wants to see is their ex having a hard time. So go on and be happy... After a grieving period. There are seven stages of grieving. Once you grieve you can try to start anew. Like I said though, nothing bizarre.
But I'd like to be more than a friend down the road. I catch myself wanting to say thingsto her now from the heart but each time I have to hold back because it brings up the past and I know she doesn't want to hear it. Instead I have to engage in trivial small talk over email/text...which just feels empty. We were very much in love before she ended it.
if they ended it, the best is to move on. plenty of fish in the ocean.
f 12a wrote:
Ignoring someone you care about is one of the hardest things to do.
Those guys that free climbed the Dawn Wall drank there own urine. fact
No they didn't. Where'd you read that? They were given supplies via hoist.
dawn wall...
1) Stop initiating contact with her.
2) When she initiates contact with you, show disinterest.
3) Find another girl and get her into your life.
Girls are more attracted to guys that have women around them. It shows that they're socially valuable. It also makes them jealous.
If things ended between you two, it might not ever go back to the way it used to be, but by finding another girl, you might get her temporarily competitive enough for her to throw herself at you, i.e., you get another lay. From both of them ideally.
good luck
I feel like some of these methods can backfire. If you pull away and stop initiating contact, things may cool off too much....or she might take it as confirmation that we were never meant to be if it's truly that easy for me to move on.
Whoever cares the least has the most power.
Just do what seems empty. Just do small trivial small talk. Ignore her a little bit. Every time you think yes just do no and ignore an opportunity to talk to her or make any contact.
Disconnect or a little while and then when you feel comfortable try to reconnect a little.
That or just completely dump her in the gutter...not really but you know what I mean.
It's a game of who can move on the quickest and who can smitten the other. Do not call or text. Let him or her endure thinking theyve mase a huge mistake. Utilize your temp freedom, get in a good rebound or two. When in doubt, pull out.
*stipe wrote:
Whoever cares the least has the most power.
This.
I don't think you get to choose though how much you care about another person, at least when we're talking about romantic love.
grovel, profusely
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care.
f 12a wrote:
I don't think you get to choose though how much you care about another person, at least when we're talking about romantic love.
Yes so pretend you don't care.
Seriously, you can basically only get her back if you pretend to be completely over it. Try to find someone else even.
Why is pretending that you don't care the only way to get her back? It gets even more complicated when the reason for breaking-up was not exactly clear.
While I find it morally repugnant to come on here and actually be helpful, every so often I feel a soft spot for such young unenlightened Jedis.
We've all been there. Awkward running buddies usually can't offer any good advice. Most of your closest friends are all too close to her as well to really offer up some advice. On the bright side you've been hammering some runs since getting dumped so there's that...
Give it some space, sort yourself out for a minute. If it's fresh enough that you're seeking advice from letsrun it's much too fresh to be getting in touch with her. Your best case scenario is for her to come to the realization on her own that she made a huge mistake. Contrary to every rom-com you two ever watched together you won't convince her of this through a grand romantic gesture. Real people are far more complicated than that.
At this point in your process you can take or leave the old adage that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. May or may not work for you. I'd say you go with it though. It's fun. Maybe try a thicker girl than usual. Or a cross eyed one. Something that keeps you from getting too attached but is still fun for a little while. Throughout this process you decide if you really want to get the old one back.
Check back with us after two weekends. Once you've fooled around with a rugby player, the older lady at the hotel bar, that awkward library girl, or whomever you find, and thought about whether you really want your ex back. We'll be here to advise at that time.
If you don't want her back by then, great, you can assess what you liked and didn't like about her and shop for your next partner- no rush though. If you do, we'll commence phase two, which is often the most fun; time for people to come to their own realization that they've made a huge mistake.
I agree that my only hope is her realizing that she's made a huge mistake. But for clarity, the break-up occured 1.5 months ago and I have no interest in being with someone else. I know what I want and it's her.
f 12a wrote:
I agree that my only hope is her realizing that she's made a huge mistake. But for clarity, the break-up occured 1.5 months ago and I have no interest in being with someone else. I know what I want and it's her.
Why do you think she broke up with you. What did she say.
Use this as an opportunity to do things you like that you haven't been doing, which don't depend on being with her in particular. If you're hung up on one woman, then there are important things missing from your life, besides her. Since she broke up with you, the relationship wasn't as close as you thought. The relationship was just a stepping stone to move on with your life. You've done that, so now it's time to move on, so you don't get stuck in the middle of the river.