To Live with Disability or Die without

Non-Running Other

9 years ago 11/27/2014 7:40pm EST

I was diagnosed today with a relapse in cancer after being in remission (actually called cured) for 3 years. Hell of a thanksgiving I know. It is treatable, but the treatment would likely leave me with severe permanent nerve damage and significant cognitive delays.

I have a job and a life that I like. I spent almost 2 full years in treatment the last go around. I am 30 years old and, up until last week, felt like I had a new lease on life.

The question is: to do the treatment and be a survivor, with the potential long term damage listed above, or die on my own terms with all mental faculties until the late stages of the cancer.

I know it seems odd to be asking anonymous message board posters for such significant life advice, but sometimes it is comforting to hear what others not close to the matter have to say.

Thanks and a happy and healthy Thanksgiving weekend to all

9 years ago 11/27/2014 9:15pm EST

re: scared runner

Obviously this is way too big a question for strangers to answer but you should, if you haven't, check around for other opinions. There may even be some flaky outside the medical system stuff that you'd want to try.

For my psrt, I'd do what I need to in oder to stay alive. As you age, your physical abilities decline. It might happen to you a lot sooner than it does to most folks, but I know "disabled" people who seem satisfied with their lives though I'd guess there's fair bit of adjusting that needs to happen. Best of luck.

9 years ago 11/28/2014 7:39am EST

re: scared runner

9 years ago 11/28/2014 8:00am EST

re: scared runner

Obviously this is a tough one to answer.

But I would just point out that the medical industry has no incentive to cure you. There is nothing they would love more than to give you expensive treatments. You never know if a third option may present itself.

9 years ago 11/28/2014 8:11am EST

re: scared runner

Sorry you have to go through this. For my part, if was just me to consider I probably would have chemo or radiation but I can say that knowing I am not in your shoes. However, if you are facing certain death versus MAYBE having other issues, I would certainly research the probabilities of getting the side effects. You should be around for your wife and kids as long as possible if you have any. If not you can be more selfish with your decision. I wouldn't want to live disabled. The though that someone would have to disrupt their life to care for me really bothers me, but again it depends on the disability. Should you not choose the medical route to treat, I would try everything under the sun on the conservative side that makes sense. Don't just give up. Good luck and keep us posted.

9 years ago 11/28/2014 8:25am EST

re: scared runner

If you tried the treatment and it didn't work out wouldn't dying still be an option?

9 years ago 11/28/2014 8:33am EST

re: scared runner

I think I'd tend to go with the treatment, and then re-evaluate. On the other hand, you don't want to leave your family taking care of you for 10-20 years if you're a vegetable. How likely is success, and how long would you have without it? Are we talking brain tumor here?

9 years ago 11/28/2014 8:46am EST

re: Ho Hum

Bone cancer in back. They are giving me 70 % chance of "success" with treatment, which is combined surgery and chemo.

9 years ago 11/28/2014 8:56am EST

re: scared runner

If you can still live an independent life go ahead with the treatment and stay here.

Can you?

9 years ago 11/28/2014 4:33pm EST

re: e2rw

9 years ago 11/28/2014 5:37pm EST

re: scared runner

Do the treatment. Immediately begin focusing on obtaining abilities rather than your disability. Work hard at cognitive rehab if you need it.

9 years ago 11/28/2014 6:06pm EST

re: The Guru Matt James

The Guru Matt James wrote:
Obviously this is a tough one to answer.
But I would just point out that the medical industry has no incentive to cure you. There is nothing they would love more than to give you expensive treatments. You never know if a third option may present itself.

+1 for this.

OP, what was your cancer the first time around?

9 years ago 11/28/2014 6:53pm EST

re: 50 miles a week...in the POOL

For me it would come down to whether I could continue working (if not, life would not be worth living). I wouldn't throw in the towel until I had thrown myself heart and soul into trying to find a way to live.

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