Is it normal to be MISERABLE in grad school?

Are you being paid to go? Having a world-class education for free without debt is a great deal. I work as a TA to manage that, and the time put into teaching sometimes overwhelms me. I'd be quite happier to just focus on the classes I'm taking.

We need to know more about your situation before we can comment. Is it a humanities, STEM, or professional school (law/business/etc)? Are you taking courses? Doing research? Why are you busy all the time? What are you doing?

Sometimes I get the way you're feeling when I haven't had enough sleep. Go to sleep early for the next couple days and see how you feel.

Do you go to a well-know/prestigious grad school (like an Ivy)? especially for an MBA or a Law Degree, tough it out for the next two years.

I mean, you'll be suffering in corporate America for several more decades anyway.

Your experience is totally normal. First, graduate school tends to attract mono-dimensional idiots incapable of completing tasks outside their field of choice. Do not compare yourself to your idiot savant graduate student colleagues. Second, the professors are even more dysfunctional than the graduate students. They tend to be self-centered and abusive in their demands. Nevertheless, if you suffer through your graduate education, you will acquire the skills necessary to independently research a topic and provide novel insight. My advice is that you work tirelessly to research your thesis topic and abstain from socializing with the professors/students. A timely thesis defense should be your unequivocal goal.

Try getting a real job, maybe a blue collar one, and then come back and complain. I look back at my grad school times

as bing the easiest time of my life

I have two grad degrees. I would make more money if I was a plumber

I had the same feeling my first semester. I'm now in my 3rd semester and still feel the same way, but will be done in less than a year.

If you are not paying for school, stick it out and use being in school for its positives- particularly in job seeking. Go to the career fairs- it is much easier to get a job as a student than a random person applying for the same job off their company website. Find out if your department offers any flexibility in the course requirements and take advantage of the freedom if it does. If it does not, try to select your courses based on what professors are good teachers because it really makes such a difference. Find good music that you enjoy listening to while working, especially if you work in an office with many others. Don't listen to other people who claim they work constantly- they are usually the ones doing nothing.

Keep reminding yourself of the reasons that you started and that it won't be forever.

Masters or PhD? I got my masters and it was pretty easy. Stressed at times, but not too terrible. I'm now working on a PhD and I am 90% sure I am going to quit. While the financial outcome is potentially pretty good, I have no work life balance and probably won't until I get tenure somewhere (which is 10-11 years away). The PhD work is so much more different than I anticipated. It's not so much a thought of "can I actually finish this thing?" To "do I really actually want to finish this thing?" I have a 4.0, but that doesn't mean anything until I can prove I can publish. I'm sure graduate school is perfect for some, but that doesn't mean that it is for everyone. Like you, I don't like most of what I do. I thought the feeling would pass, but now that I'm almost 1.5 years in, I'm almost certain I'm barking up the wrong tree. There is no shame in quitting, but make sure you have given your program a fair shot.

Bottom line is that I see fellow students and faculty members who are wasting some of the best years of their lives. All for what? So you can end up as one of the other narcissistic academics who get off on one upping one another as you spent your Saturdays and Sundays pouring over research? If that is your thing, do it, if it's not, run away as fast as you can. One more thing...if working as a professor is your plan, you might want to think a little bit about where higher ed will be in the next couple of decades.

It has become a straight up business, and kids are realizing that it might not be worth it. Tenure positions are being cut left and right. Schools are hiring less and many will be turning to video recorded/online classes (meaning that unless you are a stud in your field, getting that good job is going to be super tough). Doesn't look great...

stressed and depressed wrote:

I am busy all the time and dislike probably 90% of what I do.

This actually seems like the perfect preparation for life in the corporate working world. May as well get used to the feeling now, 'cause it's the same one you're gonna have for the next 30-40 years.

Reading this, I think I know why my Bio teacher is so grouchy all the time.... going back to school (AGAIN)for the umpteenth time must suck

Me3 wrote:

I have two grad degrees. I would make more money if I was a plumber

Why on god's green earth do you have two? Don't tell me you went to grad school for liberal arts...

I think there's some great advice so far on this thread.

I may have a little bit less perspective on this issue than other who have posted. I'm in a master's program in a field that I like - I have no idea how difficult my program is compared to others in different fields. It's hard at times but almost always manageable.

To reiterate something another poster said, make sure that you are getting plenty of sleep. This almost always makes life more manageable. Don't overdo the caffeine, and take time to keep yourself in shape. Keep doing the things that help you keep your mind together - Sure they take time out of your day, but the clarity of thought they bring will be more than worth it in terms of absolute productivity. If you do those things and still hate your program - consider quitting (provided that you have another income, etc.)

The 1st semester is the worst time in grad school for many. If you make it through the 1st semester, you'll see that it just gets easier. You have to raise your game significantly from undergraduate days. Then it turns out that graduate school may be the best time in your whole life. Enjoy it.

Never be mIserable. Leave. But btw, I bet other grad students are as unhappy as you, just put on a better face

Before I went to grad school 25+ years ago, I spent some time in industry and saw what it was like without the degree.

When classmates like you revealed they were miserable, I had phone numbers of people they could call to hear about what they would be doing in a couple weeks if they quit. None of those people who I worked with before grad school, even the young ones, are still in the industry. All of my grad class, who finished with Phds are still in it.

That doesn't mean staying is the right decision for you but think very hard before you bail.

Become a forest ranger or a shepherd

MA/MS/MBA or PhD?

The former - doesn't matter. You're done in two or three years, and you may or may not apply what you learned post-graduation. Your current satisfaction probably won't correlate with your post-graduation satisfaction.

The latter - it's a concern. You will most likely continue to pursue related research.

Maybe provide some more information...

Best,

JG

Enjoy your time NOT WORKING. Grad school isn't that time consuming. You have tons of time to train. And you have breaks. You will miss it when you are 6 months into your job and have to work EVERY DAY. Go take a nap and you'll feel better when you get up, and all of your friends are working late, or sitting on the subway.

lmb wrote:

Try getting a real job, maybe a blue collar one, and then come back and complain. I look back at my grad school times

as bing the easiest time of my life

I have had a number of jobs, blue collar and white collar (mostly blue collar). I enjoyed them MUCH more than I enjoy grad school.

Grad school isn't necessarily hard, it's just very unenjoyable and seems like a waste of time in every way other than working towards a bigger paycheck down the road. The program I'm in is crappy and not what I thought it was going in.