Anyone dated a girl with a borderline personality disorder?

Having dealt with mentally ill friends more than once, I'll say this. I absolutely acknowledge how hard it is for that person - much harder than for us on the side. I can't fathom how difficult it has to be for a BPD to endure the strong emotions he/she does.

And I am ABSOLUTELY there for someone who acknowledges their illness, and makes an effort to get help, to get better. Even as they fall and fall again, I am there for them, as long as they are _trying_.

However, when dealing with the person who doesn't acknowledge the illness, eventually you have to simply step aside. All you get is pulled into vortex of drama and stress if you stay close.

The problem and real tragedy with BPD is that it is extremely difficult for them to recognize their own illness. They just get defensive and angry and then attack you. It's really sad. But in that situation, you can't help by staying close to them - you just get sucked into the endless cycle of alternating sweetness and evil.

And that's the thing I wonder horribly about. Is a BPD truly incapable of recognizing their own illness by the very nature of their illness? Or is it just very hard?

I've heard of people who were able to recognize their own BPD and work to grow from it - so I have to believe it is possible to develop self-awareness of the issue.

After the episode is over, you can look back with some clarity. In the moment, it's very difficult. Self awareness requires you to think at a mentally healthy level.

I like the movie Silver Linings because it's accurate. You see something common- the little thing that upsets the person followed by an extreme response. In one scene he gets unreasonably upset that he can't find his wedding video. He's not even aware of how he is upsetting others around him. He doesn't stop yelling until his father hits him.

In another scene, the wedding song that sets him into a rage plays. this time he was able to calm down because Tiffany helped him get self awareness about how he is feeling, she calmly assured him he'd be okay, and she said things to him that made him look at the situation differently. It's very difficult to do that for yourself in the moment.

It's a terrible, terrible illness.

"Your life will never be the same again"

This is true. This is true for any serious destructive life experience like Fighting in a war or watching someone you love slowly die. You enter a carefree boy and you come out a man.

A boy is weak because life hasn't given him resistance to make him strong. A boy has no war scars and can't understand how precious life is. He cannot lead because he doesn't know real responsibility over another human life. You have to see things, lived the hard things, to become a leader and a man.

That's what mental illness has done for you.

Great thread.

I'm not sure I've posted this on this thread or not, but I have family members with bipolar disorder, and while different from BPD, it's similar enough for me to share a little more insight. As much as I love my family members with bipolar, I cannot have them in my life. No matter how hard I or anyone else try to help them, all they do is self-destruct and bring down anyone around them with them. You can try and try and try and try for years and have essentially no effect, and all that happens is your life gets ruined. It really bothers me to say this since my sister has bipolar and struggles with people running away from her, but I advise anyone reading this to run the other direction any time you meet a girl with bipolar disorder or BPD. Don't walk. RUN. And do not have any more contact with these people than you have to because they will ruin your life, whether they mean to or not.

ugh...another thread where the OP ran away and left us all hanging....

'Stay the night' -You literally just described what happened to me and my emotional/mental state months after the fact. Holy shit.

Amazing thread.

Some shocking stories out there

I dated 2, 1 for over 10 years the other right after and for 5 years. #2 I thought was the nice girl next door type but I couldn't have been more wrong. She was by far the craziest girl I have ever met, she was dating an ex from the beginning and then a co worker that went on for 2 years or more, she had sex with other co workers and I have to assume her family knows that she keeps multiple boyfriends. Her brother (npd) knew and texted her pissed off over something as usual and rembled on about a lot (how I first found out) then I went thru old phone records to find out the extent of her cheating. This crazy whore has absolutely no remorse whatsoever, zero guilt and I have no doubt she did it all with a smile on her face. I recorded calls, planted recorders in her car and work place, credit card records etc kind of a morbid curiosity to see how deep the rabbit hole goes... I am not sure how deep but holy shit it's deep and I had enough. I forwarded more than enough proof to everyone I could think of she knew, I did get in a little trouble but if I could have busted her out any more than I did, I would have and I don't give a rats ass that she does this because she's bpd, she knows it's wrong and did/does everything possible to betray, make life misserable and humiliate men that were unlucky enough to get close to her. She is out to destroy you and calls you her "soul mate" while she sucks off your friends, accusing you of what She's doing while she's doing it and the amount of lies, planning and sneaking around to be thin 8evil is amazing and takes more devotion and commitment than she'll ever put into a normal relationship with you so do not be fooled! She is a master manipulator and has no conscience whatsoever. Everything is a lie, she never had any problems with cheating on you and won't have a problem with doing it again. She will give all her dirty and fun away to a stranger just to be evil to you while she only gives misserable bitch and lies to you. Don't believe a word, get away asap, get yourself tested for std's, cut her off and out of your life and have zero contact! You can't save her, you can't help her, you can only take back your nuts and run, she will only want to destroy you and when she finally does, it will make her feel good, happy your dead and she will feel justifieid, you will not get anything else but this kind of thing from her no matter what you think or want to believe, only as much pain and misery than she can inflict until you're dead or someone else comes along she likes better and destroys him instead. Ī can't say it more clear, I swear on my mother every word is %100 true so next time you are with a girl to good to be true, watch for the signs and if she's bpd, run, don't walk and do not look back, it's awesome in the beginning but check out is 11am and it costs your balls to stay until 1

I dated a girl with bpd. She was absolutely beautiful. We didn't know each other very long before she started to tell me how much she loved me. Like an idiot I lied and told her I loved her back. The sex was amazing. Unbelievable! But she started to freak the s**t out of me. She was so intense. So I ended the relationship....

The next year was the worst of my life. She accused me of rape. Went to the cops. Recorded interviews/ interrogation, expensive lawyers, the works. I had to go to counselling do deal with it. I hit the bottle big tine. It's all over now thank God but I'll never be the same again. Permanent damage was done there.

My advice: run!

No.

All true..they will ruin you and everything including themselves. I was married to one and the stories are too many to tell...non stop lies, accusations, cheating,stealing..the lowest of the lows..mine enjoyed messing with our children who chose to live with me and now have an almost non existent relationship with her..as far as sex went nothing special, not very giving. Very sarcastic, loved to make fun of people and gossip..They have zero to give..all take, which by the way was never enough. They have no interests or hobbies except for the drama and pain that they create. When I first met her someone that knew her well told me to RUN...NOW!!! And the other poster was right, break all contact with this person...as soon as you do your life will improve drastically. Prayers and healing to all of us.

Crazy chicks are hot....until they're not.

Last one for me was on the bipolar express headed for crazy town. Stopped taking her meds. And then the s***t really hit the fan. Had to call the cops to get her out of my condo.

Went down to courthouse next day and they had a file on her 10 inches thick, with numerous assaults, mostly of men.

Or less contact. I've find since I have little contact with my mom, I'm much better off. I know I've read these threads before in the past but it's a good learning tool for all of us who have suffered these experiences.

Also, I was curious for the posters who gave their experiences or went through a difficult time with someone with mental instability, did you get into another relationship/married and are happy now? Sometimes I wonder if we keep picking the same type of person or with similar patterns because we haven't healed from our past experiences? Or what draws us to those type of people? Do we have to experience turmoil in life in order to learn from our mistakes or do we continue to wallow in our pain? I find taking time to heal and finding yourself again is the best therapy...i.e. read books, listen to soothing music, and when you run...reflect & appreciate the beauty of life, be comfortable being alone at times, cherish and focus on the good things in your life and be grateful you are healthy and alive.

P.S. Not all women are crazy it's just that sometimes men make us that way...;)

I feel like i should post here since this is the thread that saved me.

I dated a girl with BPD for almost 3 years and it, as others said, got progressively worse. It was great at first, but after a while she seemed really manic. High highs and low lows.

It just gets worse it ended with her going ape sh1t 2-3 times a week. Punched out her dad, her mom, her step mom.

Tried to grab the steering wheel and steer me into oncoming traffic multiple times, socked me like only a crazy b1tch knows how.

I actually read this thread when i was with her and showed her some if it. She flipped! went freaking CRAZY.

Long story short. IT IS NOT worth it, thankful this thread saved me from wasting any more of my life on her. It could have ended much worse. They are the most manipulative people you'll meet and will do anything to keep you around.

Now she s doing coke every night with her 2 time felon BF who has 2 kids, no job, no car. Makes me laugh every time I see her strung out in the stores.

Mine assaulted all her family members physically multiple times. Finally when I tried to break up with her she tried to fight me, she hit me like ive never seen a girl hit before. I was honestly impressed till the second left hook connected with my cheek and almost put me down.

I clocked her a few good ones and once i had her on the ground shes screaming how she'll press charges. Luckily when her family members arrived at the police station they gave their statements on her abuse and I got off.

I couldn't believe how hard she could hit, not the normal girl slap or punch. Felt like I was fighting another dude.

Steelernation wrote:

Half the women I dated were/are psychotic.

I know men are not supposed to hit a woman, but after my experiences, I see stuff on TV, and think " I wonder if this guy experienced what I did, and just snapped"

None of my friends understood when I told them what she would do. Looked at me like I was a sick freak for hitting her, if only they knew what she was capable of.

When you wake up with your GF trying to kill you wtf would you do?

OMG! I would get a restraining order against this woman. She is dangerous! Probably has spent the last 12 yrs plotting. Has she not found a new obsession?

I know the feeling... wrote:

Mine assaulted all her family members physically multiple times. Finally when I tried to break up with her she tried to fight me, she hit me like ive never seen a girl hit before. I was honestly impressed till the second left hook connected with my cheek and almost put me down.

I clocked her a few good ones and once i had her on the ground shes screaming how she'll press charges. Luckily when her family members arrived at the police station they gave their statements on her abuse and I got off.

I couldn't believe how hard she could hit, not the normal girl slap or punch. Felt like I was fighting another dude.

sounds hawt!

pics?

this is an interesting thread going here.

bump. Anymore stories you could share??