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margaret sanger
oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 3:33PM Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Like half of these relate to "getting what you deserve in a settlement"

W. T. F.

so are they equal or not?

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/8220-wish-knew-got-divorced-8221-202200238.html
jhfghfhd
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 3:36PM - in reply to margaret sanger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
they want equality until:

1. they have to share in lifting and lowering the toilet seat
2. they have to make the first move, get the number, etc.
3. you don't open the door for them, etc.
Well Now That You Mention It
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 3:50PM - in reply to margaret sanger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

margaret sanger wrote:

Like half of these relate to "getting what you deserve in a settlement"

W. T. F.

so are they equal or not?

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/8220-wish-knew-got-divorced-8221-202200238.html


No offense but you clearly know nothing about divorce settlements.
truth b told
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 3:51PM - in reply to margaret sanger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Women want equality before, during and after marriage. However, equality, especially in marriage is an unattainable ideal for most women. Marriage, by it's very definition, is an unfair arrangement for women whereby men benefit immensely (e.g., married men see an increase in their financial standing [have higher salaries] and live longer lives vs. unmarried peers) while women suffer pysically, financially and socially (e.g., married women suffer poorer health and live less long lives compared with unmarried women, married women).
Apigsheaven
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 3:59PM - in reply to margaret sanger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Oh no, this thread shows how people just dont understand women. Women dont want equality. They have no intentions of settling for equality. They want to own your asss.
High Wire
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:01PM - in reply to truth b told Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Women want whatever they can get away with, just like everyone else.
margaret sanger
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:02PM - in reply to Well Now That You Mention It Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Well Now That You Mention It wrote:

No offense but you clearly know nothing about divorce settlements.


Well then please enlighten me, ma'am.

Specifically in number 2. The woman (apparently CEO of Divorce Divas, which sounds like a group of gals not out to get paid...) said she had a bad lawyer. BUT, an amount of money was agreed to. Now she thinks she could have gotten more. BUT IT WAS AGREED TO BY ALL PARTIES.
I went there once
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:03PM - in reply to truth b told Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
my 41 year old brother in law was married at 22, had 3 kids, wifey threatened to divorce him because she hated being an army wife. he leaves his army career in bid to keep family together. bitch leaves him anyway, remarries a rich guy. they get a McMansion , 2 SUVs , a boat, etc.
he lives with his parents , crushed by child support payments ( which thankfully end soon ) . his life has been a steaming pole of shit since 1996 because of that bitch. and his kids hate him. beware of women and marriage you young guys. and always use protection. women will ruin your lives if you get the wrong one.
The Master Troll
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:19PM - in reply to truth b told Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

truth b told wrote:

Women want equality before, during and after marriage. However, equality, especially in marriage is an unattainable ideal for most women. Marriage, by it's very definition, is an unfair arrangement for women whereby men benefit immensely (e.g., married men see an increase in their financial standing [have higher salaries] and live longer lives vs. unmarried peers) while women suffer pysically, financially and socially (e.g., married women suffer poorer health and live less long lives compared with unmarried women, married women).


Source?
LDOPA
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:32PM - in reply to The Master Troll Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

The Master Troll wrote:

Source?


Imaaaagination
Well Now That You Mention It
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:35PM - in reply to margaret sanger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

margaret sanger wrote:


Well Now That You Mention It wrote:

No offense but you clearly know nothing about divorce settlements.


Well then please enlighten me, ma'am.

Specifically in number 2. The woman (apparently CEO of Divorce Divas, which sounds like a group of gals not out to get paid...) said she had a bad lawyer. BUT, an amount of money was agreed to. Now she thinks she could have gotten more. BUT IT WAS AGREED TO BY ALL PARTIES.


OK.

1) She got divorced.
2) In arriving at a settlement she employed a lawyer who was not very well qualified for this particular type of work. Perhaps as a result of her lawyer's incompetence she agreed to a settlement that was perhaps below what she should have agreed to.
3) She thinks that she could have gotten more with a more competent lawyer.

Help me out here, what is difficult to understand about this sequence of events?

Oh, and you might want to refrain from making assumptions in general. Try to talk about what is actually said and about what you actually know.
The Master TrolI
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:40PM - in reply to I went there once Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

I went there once wrote:

my 41 year old brother in law was married at 22, had 3 kids, wifey threatened to divorce him because she hated being an army wife. he leaves his army career in bid to keep family together. bitch leaves him anyway, remarries a rich guy. they get a McMansion , 2 SUVs , a boat, etc.
he lives with his parents , crushed by child support payments ( which thankfully end soon ) . his life has been a steaming pole of shit since 1996 because of that bitch. and his kids hate him. beware of women and marriage you young guys. and always use protection. women will ruin your lives if you get the wrong one.


Source?
I went there once
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:54PM - in reply to The Master TrolI Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
pain train
SFH isnot your personal toilet
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 4:58PM - in reply to The Master TrolI Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Marriage is the ultimate expression of compliance with the culture of oppression. It is the bedrock of misogyny, the ideal upon which heteronormativity is based, the primary unit with which patriarchy replicates itself. Wives are the unpaid labor that supports misogynist male culture. Marriages tend mostly to produce in droves that primary repository of patriarchal ideology known as the nuclear family, and its dutiful self-sacrificing menial, the wife-and-mother. It is in the wife-and-mother’s cavernous receptacle that male society stockpiles its ideals of femininity, submission, and sex, ideals which must be passed to each new generation to ensure the ascendency of patriarchal oppression. A married woman’s value is assessed according to the success with which she assimilates and performs wife-and-mother behaviors. These behaviors are not limited to reproduction, shopping, child-rearing, husband-servicing, and toilet-scrubbing, but also encompass a woman’s fundamental sense of her own inadequacy, and of the inadequacy of women generally. This sense of defectiveness ensures that her identity is little more than a function of her service to male culture. Two heterosexual people may marry for ‘love’ but sooner or later they find their ideal subsumed by duty to bogus culturally constructed expectations. ‘Love’ as it is commonly understood — a sense of unbridled benevolence toward one of your own kind — cannot withstand the pressures wrought by the power differential between dominator and dominated. Because all of society, not to mention the global economy, turns on the difference between two classes — oppressor and oppressed, man and woman, white and black, top and bottom — love, initially an affinity between two like entities, morphs into a class struggle. Couples struggle against the world and each other for fidelity, for money, for sex, for kids, for individual happiness or fulfillment. Thus, marriage is ‘work’, but it is the woman who has to do most of it; the dude merely has to show up at the wedding.

Western women are always so appalled at “third world” traditions of misogyny, but they think nothing of volunteering for duty themselves. I reiterate that Western vs “third world” misogyny is merely a matter of style, and more often than not the twain shall indeed meet.
Randy Oldman
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 5:36PM - in reply to margaret sanger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Here's my advice to men, because they are so different to women.

1. It may take a long time to recover-and that's okay.

2. Choose your counsel wisely.

3. Dig deeply into your joint finances.

4. Figure out your future living expenses ASAP.

5. Anticipate unexpected costs.

6. Trying to hurt your ex usually backfires.

7. Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.

8. The holidays will be harder than you expect.

9. Your kids won't tell you how they really feel about the divorce, but their behavior will.

10. Divorce can be freeing-and totally worth it.
A Photograph of You
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 6:15PM - in reply to Randy Oldman Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I may have had the easiest divorce of all time. No children either in the three years I was married.

We basically just filed the paper work. No alimony, a 50/50 of split of our checking/savings (my wife and I worked full time and both had benefits and 401K ).

We luckily sold our house (but lived in the place together for 5 months after we agreed to separate and until it was sold).

Went to the county courthouse for our hearing and BAM it was over.

No lawyers, nothing.

I think I got off easy because I didn't f**k up our relationship. I treated my wife like a queen, but she was a b*tch to me and she knew it, her parents knew it, and our marriage counselor knew it.

Depends on who you marry.
What the heck
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 7:19PM - in reply to A Photograph of You Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

A Photograph of You wrote:

I may have had the easiest divorce of all time. No children either in the three years I was married.

We basically just filed the paper work. No alimony, a 50/50 of split of our checking/savings (my wife and I worked full time and both had benefits and 401K ).

We luckily sold our house (but lived in the place together for 5 months after we agreed to separate and until it was sold).

Went to the county courthouse for our hearing and BAM it was over.

No lawyers, nothing.

I think I got off easy because I didn't f**k up our relationship. I treated my wife like a queen, but she was a b*tch to me and she knew it, her parents knew it, and our marriage counselor knew it.

Depends on who you marry.


No, you did not get off easy because you didn't f**k up your relationship. You got off easy because:

1) There were no kids involved (child support off the table)
2) You were only married a short time and you both kept your careers intact (spousal support off the table)

There's nothing left to fight about.
A divorced man
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 8:02PM - in reply to What the heck Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I guess you could say that I got off easy. Married 7 years had 2 kids. 50/50 split of money. We each put money into an account for the children. I got to keep the house. She slept around and was an all around bitch.

This is good for a guy but had I been a woman I could have made out big. It is stupid that the woman is considered to be better for the children. I now watch the kids about 75%of the time. She is drunk and has random guys come over when she has the children. All and all though the courts have told me not much I can do. However if I was a woman the kids would be mine and a large child support payment.
bitter old underpass coot
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 8:10PM - in reply to A divorced man Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
+ 1,000,000,0000

courts are designed to crush the men - especially fathers / insane double standards and institutional bias

and people ask why men refuse to get married? the legal system has destroyed it.

the legal profession has to love gay marriage - more potential future clients for the divorce industry.
Should be asked
RE: oh yeah, women want equality, until divorce 1/15/2013 8:23PM - in reply to A divorced man Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

A divorced man wrote:

I guess you could say that I got off easy. Married 7 years had 2 kids. 50/50 split of money. We each put money into an account for the children. I got to keep the house. She slept around and was an all around bitch.

This is good for a guy but had I been a woman I could have made out big. It is stupid that the woman is considered to be better for the children. I now watch the kids about 75%of the time. She is drunk and has random guys come over when she has the children. All and all though the courts have told me not much I can do. However if I was a woman the kids would be mine and a large child support payment.


Can you cite the laws that say that there would be any difference whatsoever in outcomes depending upon your gender?

I have some experience with these types of situations and several of the notions that either you have expressed or often go along with what you have expressed seem to be more myth than reality, at least within numerous court proceedings that I have witnessed.

1) The woman is NOT considered better for the children. Every time this has come up in court cases that I have seen it is completely shut down by the judge or mediator.

2) Having multiple sex partners is not considered to be relevant. "Fault" as in, "who was the ass who ruined the marriage" is not considered to be relevant.

3) Child support payments as well as spousal support payments are NOT based upon gender. They are based upon earnings, the need to make adequate financial resources available for the children, and an attempt to allow the lower earning spouse (often the one who dropped their career to watch kids) to maintain a standard of living comparable to the lower of (a) the standard of living of the higher earning spouse and (b) the standard of living of the couple pre-divorce, at least for some period of time.

I'd be interested in seeing these laws that say women should be favored in matters of kids and money because it flies in the face of all my experience to date.
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