I am an idiot: Next year I will have three kids at expensive private colleges in non-technical majors

Just have the local military recruiter waiting in your living room as they return, and sign up for student loan repayment programs. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone - steady job and no more educational debt. And they can get a job in the rear with the gear, to be safe.

I'm pretty sure that you're well off or else you really wouldn't have let your kids study there. Are you one of those families who make over $150k-$250k but consider yourselves not rich? If it's really a problem, say that they should transfer.

puritan work ethic wrote:

I'm pretty sure that you're well off or else you really wouldn't have let your kids study there. Are you one of those families who make over $150k-$250k but consider yourselves not rich? If it's really a problem, say that they should transfer.

I make about 150k before taxes. My wife does not work. I live near a major east coast city with a pretty high cost of living.

I am not rich. $150k may seem like a lot to some 25 year old who's not married or has no kids yet, but it's not a lot for someone in their late 40s with kids in college. I have a very modest home in a very modest middle class neighborhood. I drive a honda accord.

Not so easy to tell your kids to transfer. We love our kids and want the best for them.

Why is this your problem. I went to an expensive school and it didn't cost my parents a cent.

why is this your expense? wrote:

Why is this your problem. I went to an expensive school and it didn't cost my parents a cent.

This.

And you are right, $150k is not much when you have 3 almost 4) kids in college.

That said, most states have fair quality opportunities for under 10k/yr. I think that might be the smart thing for a parent to do, offer to pay for a less expensive education or put that amount toward the higher-end education then make the kid work off the rest.

Destined for Destitution wrote:

Not so easy to tell your kids to transfer. We love our kids and want the best for them.

This is your problem - it's either too bad for them or it's too bad for you. Since you as sole $$ generator, this should be your call. "We cannot afford it."

randomcoach wrote:

This is your problem - it's either too bad for them or it's too bad for you. Since you as sole $$ generator, this should be your call. "We cannot afford it."

It doesn't even have to be a matter of telling your kid to transfer. Tell them what you're willing to pay. They can take that information and do whatever they want with it. They can transfer to a school where your gift will pay their whole tuition. They can stay where they are and figure something else out to cover tuition that your gift won't cover.

Point is, this doesn't have to be your problem, OP. Tell them what gift you're willing to provide and they can do as they wish.

Destined for Destitution wrote:

I make about 150k before taxes. My wife does not work. I live near a major east coast city with a pretty high cost of living.

Yes. Just as I thought. Pretty well off.

It all comes down to choices. How many square feet is your house?

You make a lot more money than the average American, your wife doesn't work, you chose to have four kids, you're choosing to send them to private schools.

You should tell your kids to pay for their own schooling with student loans. Maybe then they would think differently.

We're all shedding tears for you.

You sound like a bad parent. You should have taught your kids better, which would have led to a better GPA and better test scores. I went to an expensive liberal arts college. I also got a ton in scholarships for having good grades and good test scores. It didn't cost my parents a dime. Way to suck as a parent.

why is this your expense? wrote:

Why is this your problem. I went to an expensive school and it didn't cost my parents a cent.

Exactly this.

You love your kids and want the best for them. That doesn't mean you have to pay for their college or at least for all of it.

I've definitely seen a different attitude in students whose parents paid for college versus those who had to take out loans/pay for themselves. When college isn't handed to you, it seems to be taken a lot more seriously.

why is this your expense? wrote:

Point is, this doesn't have to be your problem, OP. Tell them what gift you're willing to provide and they can do as they wish.

Problem for the kids is that their financial aid will be calculated based on parents income whether the parent chooses to contribute or not.

I also am a parent and have 2 kids in college, one of them in an Ivy League school. It's costing me a fortune but that's ok - I would actually rather spend my money on my kids than on myself, and seeing them get a better education and life experience than what I was able to have brings me a lot of happiness.

incognito wrote:

Problem for the kids is that their financial aid will be calculated based on parents income whether the parent chooses to contribute or not.

Maybe for grants, but loans are still an option if the kids wish to go that direction.

Why doesn't your wife work if your kids are grown up and you're obviously in financial trouble? I understand the whole "wanting to be home for the kids" when they're young, but what's the reasoning beyond that?

I have a friend who graduated this year with a political science major and a ~2.9 gpa. He got a job during the summer where he expects to make $130K this year and $200k+ next year (that's what he told me at least, but it is entirely realistic from what I understand). Don't give up hope. My friend isn't the smartest guy, but he has a personality that makes him exceptionally good at what he does. The college degree was necessary too, and it has really paid off well for him.

OP: How fast do your kids run a 5K?

Let's find them scholarships, and at less-expensive schools.

Don't Fret wrote:

I have a friend who graduated this year with a political science major and a ~2.9 gpa. He got a job during the summer where he expects to make $130K this year and $200k+ next year (that's what he told me at least, but it is entirely realistic from what I understand). Don't give up hope. My friend isn't the smartest guy, but he has a personality that makes him exceptionally good at what he does. The college degree was necessary too, and it has really paid off well for him.

What job is this and how did he get it? What school did he go to? Harvard?

[quote]Med School Runner wrote:

Why doesn't your wife work if your kids are grown up and you're obviously in financial trouble? I understand the whole "wanting to be home for the kids" when they're young, but what's the reasoning beyond that?

[quote]

She does work part time as a tutor. We still have one child in high school, and we have moved a lot in my career to include living for 3 years overseas. It's not so easy for a woman to have a career under those circumstances.

I'm not looking for any sympathy here. Just offering fair warning. Small private schools will tell you how great they are. Not worth 50-60k a year in my opinion.

well my 3 bros and I also attended liberal arts colleges - only one got a hard science degree. our parents mostly did not contribute to our educations - i left school with $60k in loans to repay, my bros are in similar spots.

i can tell you that you definitely have saved your kids a lot of worrying about paying back a huge debt. they will be thankful for that. i think that alone should ease some of your worry about having that chunk of cash not in your retirement fund.

they may have some trouble finding a job straight away, but there's always jobs out there. or graduate school. i've been employed since graduating, my one bro took a year to find a job while he lived at home, the other's (science one) in grad school, and the last is graduating in may.

paying $600 a month really has me wondering if it was worth it. i do definitely think the continually increasing price for college is just ludicrous. im not sure i'd change anything, though. if private colleges are still this expensive (relative to public) 25 years from now when i have kids going to college, i'll seriously consider pushing public.

Just go to Costa Rica or a similar low cost country when you retire.