Theres been underlying themes regarding women distance runners such as eating disorders, jealously, hatred competition among teammates, and pressures in this blog. Pressures to perform, maintain a scholarship, and achieve expectations. Despite these discussions and debates, its important to maintain the integrity of the sport and womens athletics. Its important to remind ourselves that despite the rumors and true stories that follow within the deep abyss of collegiate cross country and track, theres a lot more positives then negatives we should emphasize. My own journey through collegiate athletics started with a bang, but like many other high school stars, my stardom was short lived. However, as I reflect on my journey, I realize that a lot of the mistakes, obstacles, and struggles happened through the ways I perceived things. We set forth these high expectations within ourselves and dwell on all the negatives our coach emphasizes without reminding ourselves about all the positives. Theres no perfect coach, no perfect program, and no perfect seasonobviously this team had some issues though, but I hope a glimpse of positivity can form eventually in this story. I wrote too during my collegiate years of running and I remember one season where I became so tired of running and racing because of my expectations, but looking back on it I wish I could of approached it a lot differently rather than comparing myself to my past or others.
Random passage found
I didn't want to put any excuses on my performance. Yes, underneath it all I was tired, really tired. But I masked it and didn't talk about it. I just kept plugging away because running was always my escape. My own time to just be me regardless of physical or emotional ailments. The last thing I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself, because in the whole scheme of things there's a lot more terrible things going on in this world or things to worry about than my running performances. It's a speck of sand in ocean water. You move on.
Lesson learned: Who gives a crap. Just run, be yourself, and enjoy life.. And avoid the spiteful bitches.