Recently at a cross country meet I saw a female coach talking to her runners who were near me, the funniness of her voice is impossible to describe but it was like a gay voice for a man but on a women and even gayer. As I ran she would yell to her runners "Your strength is consistency!" "Just keep running faster and keep running, you just don't stop!" what's some funny stuff that you have heard?
In high school, the assistant coach for my school would be super enthusiastic, cheering us on at the top of his voice, yelling that we were doing great, and literally jumping up and down out of excitement. Next to him would be the head coach, with his head down, inaudibly muttering splits into the clipboard.
It wasn't really anything they said that was funny, just the juxtaposition of extreme enthusiasm and boredom with the race.
Men: No alcohol, tobacco, pornography or firearms while we are away at this meet.
EVERYBODY SLOW DOWN!
I was cheering on a fast junior high girl from my running club with my dad and her dad in the 3200. After 2 laps, she took the lead over a black girl who had blitzed the first lap. After they went by, her dad explained to us in all seriousness that black people are great at the sprints, but are not mean for distance running. This was in the late 90s, so African runners already dominated. He ran road races regularly and genuinely believed he was quite knowledgeable on the sport.
"you're hill creatures!!!!!"
"That's no way to slick a whistle!!"
Said by a 70-something spectator. I assumed that meant something back in his day, though I've never been able to find any reference to it.
I guess it's not all that funny, but pretty random.
My high school coach used to yell "Quick Hands" to us. We used to laugh our asses of at him afterward. What a dumbass.
At our conference finals meet junior year, as a stiff-gaited kid from another school labored past in the 800, our coach said to no one in particular, "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto", referencing the Styx song that was getting a lot of radio play then. It struck me as funny and strange that this "old" guy (who was in his late 30s) was familiar with hit music.
Our assistant coach was French Canadian, he'd yell "Peek eet UP!! Peek eet UP!!" in his outragous accent. I live down south so he stuck out like a sore thumb.
hmmmmmm wrote:
My high school coach used to yell "Quick Hands" to us. We used to laugh our asses of at him afterward. What a dumbass.
You are an idiot for laughing at him. Do you have any idea what he meant? It's good advice. Many great coaches say this to their athletes. My high school coach said it to me, and it reminded me of what I needed to do. Thanks to his advice, I was top 10 in state and ran under 16 on a tough course.
iamnotconvinced wrote:
You are an idiot for laughing at him. Do you have any idea what he meant? It's good advice. Many great coaches say this to their athletes. My high school coach said it to me, and it reminded me of what I needed to do. Thanks to his advice, I was top 10 in state and ran under 16 on a tough course.
Do I have any idea what he meant? Are you serious? What about "quick hands" is hard to understand? Do you seriously want me to believe that those two words magically made you run under 16 and top 10 at state?
Now I'm laughing at YOU!
I was standing on the starting line of a race, when a guy from another team came up and started screaming at his teammate: "I'm tired of you running like a p@**y; I wanna see your sack on the line!!!" He was standing next to my wife whn he yelled all this. She's been joking about it ever since.
hmmmmmm wrote:
Do I have any idea what he meant? Are you serious? What about "quick hands" is hard to understand? Do you seriously want me to believe that those two words magically made you run under 16 and top 10 at state?
Now I'm laughing at YOU!
It's just a reminder of a little thing to do to get you across the finish line faster. I guess the difference between you and me is that I listened to my coach and you didn't. What were you, a 22 minute JV runner? How can you disrespect your coach enough to laugh at his "dumbass" with your teammates after a race and then post on a message board about it? Maybe you would have run better if you had listened to your coach.
While we're at it, let's just clear the course of spectators and coaches. We will race in complete silence. No words actually help people run faster.
iamnotconvinced wrote:
It's just a reminder of a little thing to do to get you across the finish line faster. I guess the difference between you and me is that I listened to my coach and you didn't. What were you, a 22 minute JV runner? How can you disrespect your coach enough to laugh at his "dumbass" with your teammates after a race and then post on a message board about it? Maybe you would have run better if you had listened to your coach.
While we're at it, let's just clear the course of spectators and coaches. We will race in complete silence. No words actually help people run faster.
Actually I did listen to my coach. How else would I have heard his pleas for "quick hands"? LOL
You may be onto something there with clearing the course. Listening to my hs coach caused me to slow down because I was laughing so hard.
I did run 22' at one time, but I think I was in 6th grade.
Coach had been calling me "Hoover" from a previous meet because he said I had 'sucked it up'. Next race I'm mid-pack and I hear him yelling across the infield, "Hooooover...are you TRYING to suck today?"
Different race, I'm lapping a girl who was apparently displacing a lot of water at the water jump. He gets to the edge of the track and goes, "pass her now, there's a tsunami comin'!"
He heard us singing snoop dogg in the van. At the race we hear, "Drop her...LIKE SHE'S HOT"
hmmmmmm wrote:
Actually I did listen to my coach. How else would I have heard his pleas for "quick hands"? LOL
You may be onto something there with clearing the course. Listening to my hs coach caused me to slow down because I was laughing so hard.
I did run 22' at one time, but I think I was in 6th grade.
What other hilarious lines did he have other than "quick hands"? I'm just not seeing the humor in that phrase. If you were a coach (I'm glad you aren't), what would you say to your athletes?
Now the coach calling the kid "Hoover" is funny.
Coach Harry Groves (PSU) was watching a race when a freshman, also spectating, randomly asked him "Coach, what's a Nittany Lion?"
Without looking away from the race, Groves responded "It's what's going to beat the shit out of you if you don't let me watch this f%$%#ing race."
Regardless the level, its funny to hear the official yelling the times and they all make the same mistake.
"5 oh 8, 5 oh 9, 5 oh 10" when giving splits.
High School Girls Coach: "You do the running! I'll do the crying!"