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| Young, Vigorous, and... |
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May you wake early to stretch those creaky joints May you have a brisk 40 minute warm up to get your heart rate over 115 May you be filled with visions of your glory days as you elbow your way past those teenagers in the first 800 meters May your spectacles stay put for the entire race May you NOT wear spandex tights near your kids May you NOT wear your age group medal after the race May you save the $25 gift certificate to the Country Bumpkin Kitchen for a special night with Mrs. "Masters runner Still Hanging On to the Dream" |
| chiptime |
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Thanks!! May you not be able to run when you're a master because your shorts are too tight. |
| kapal |
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Thanks "Young and Vigorous"! Just one correction, these are my glory days, because I can't remember anything before last week... |
| A geezer runner |
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Even as a masters runner, I kind of found the post to be entertaining. |
| Scatmandu |
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Heh... I resemble that remark! |
| I will take a shot at this one |
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and may you know a (group of) N African(s) will finish ahead of you in any race worth winning |
| runguru |
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Post of the year? |
| master baiter |
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I can no longer elbow past the high school kids who sprint out at the gun, I have to wait for them to fall back. |
| Dick Hertz |
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Well, pinhead. Here is something for you to chew on from a 50 yr old: I currently run 40 mpw. I run sub 17:00 for local 5k's. And, I have never stayed for one awards ceremony. Having said all of that here is what I think of the 20-30 group that runs around my neck of the woods: pussies! They run 16 minutes or even 15:45 and think they are hot sh!t. I can remember running 15:30 in a LOCAL 5k in the 80's and not even getting third in my age group. The runners today are not as a whole as good as the runners who are in their late 40's to 60's. It was a much larger number of runners. so, go pump your fist at your age of 26 while you out kick a 50 year old for the 17 minute dream. Pump your fist proud. Why not? It seems everyone else your age does when they run mediocre times. I'm glad I was competitve when I was. Because if I was 25 today, I'd have no incentive to run hard. They are all pussies! |
| kapal |
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Wow Dick, I'd say you swallowed the hook on this thread. |
| Newbie Master |
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And when I am 100 meters from the finish line I'll pull out my 40 year old rod and sac and scream, "GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERF**KERS!" |
| Young, Vigorous, and... |
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And may you drift into blissful sleep before 9 p.m., still sitting, with your hand in your pants, happy that the Turkey Trot results have been posted and your eighth place 16:59 is there on the internet for the whole world to see that you are one hard, grizzled old school mo'fo' who trounced a bunch of X-Box 360 playing pussies. |
| lardy |
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I bet Ed Whitlock would kill you in a race. Runners have 2 options as they get older: 1) Become a non runner 2) Become a masters runner But since you have discovered the fountain of eternal youth, you clearly have thought of a third way. Well done - now go back to your 17 minute 5k runs and impress the girls in your office, where you presumably deliver the mail. |
| dotato |
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lol. i just spit powerade at the screen... |
| 5er |
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funniest post of the year, no question seriously |
| finish the handle... |
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young, vigorous and SLOW....bfd |
| mahoosic |
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Well, geez, Dick, been drinkin'? Sounds like me after a beer or twelve. BUT (and a big BUT it is...), gotta agree w/ you on those times. That's the difference twixt the "running boom" of the 70s and the "running boom" nowadays: Back then you didn't run for health; you ran to get "fast" and to kick ass. In our local summer 5K in south Jersey, 15s and low 16s were commonplace. It's a pisser today; but, hell, everybody looks good w/ the latest microfiber (remember Protogs?), Nanos, and Garmins (so they don't get lost on those confusing city streets). |
| northwest master |
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Creaky joints ~ check 40 min warmup ~ more like 50-60 ~ check Elbowing youngsters ~ I usually go wide when passing ~ check Spectacle ~ only watching TV & driving ~ check Spandex ~ I am still uncomfortable with this, but they do hold nicely ~ check AG Medal ~ not too into them, still like checks though ~ check Gift certificate ~ feeding me and the Mrs on $25, that is a Big night/morning for us ~ check You left off Ice, advil, coffee & beer the list. happy tday |
| Sponge |
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Not sure about this one. If you are 50 and were running in the 80s, you were competing in the open division. The 20-30/30-35/etc. divisions did not really make sense then, and do not now. In any event, to the OP's post, since I am running the half on Thanksgiving I hope I don't have to warm up 40 minutes. Given recent training I might not make it home if I did. And in all events I will be desperately hanging on. |
| young vigorous has some points |
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Great initial post - legitimately funny. But as a 50 year old guy there is no way I am warming up for 40 minutes to run a rickety 5K or 8k in cold weather. Think 10/15 minutes, max. And that's after a hurrying from the race table, because I sure as heck didn't register in advance. And I don't creak - what I lack is weighing 128 pounds like I used to. And since I never stretched when I was a competitive runner I sure as heck don't now. What really stinks is that going out in 5:30/40 for the first mile has the same kind of on the edge feel as as going out in 4:25 did in my 20's. How crappy this feels right now I can't begin to tell you. This of course is the best argument just staying in shape in your 50's and avoiding races. Enjoy your youth. |
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