How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run

Tell your parents that they are not any good at parenting, so they should stop doing it.

Seriously, I feel sorry for you dude, your parents are not cool at all - in fact their behavior is sick and is psychologically abusive.

Good thing you are close to college.

I was in a similar situation as you. I went to college....7 days after graduating from high school.

You cannot pick your family, but you can pick your friends -- and you can make your friend your family for life.

Mr. Conundrum wrote:

If its just about running and you otherwise can communicate with them then I would recommend I sit down with them.

I know you're trying to help and all, but I don't think this is what he had in mind.

I knew the answer before I read the whole thread, and it's still obvious: keep running.

Honestly, what are they going to do? Stop loving you? Doesn't sounds like it. You're a big boy and if your interests certainly aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, they will be supportive in the long run if you show the strength of your commitment rather than quitting at their suggestion.

By the way, many people have accomplished as much and more academically than both of them combined while running seriously.

Simple answer to all those questions: endorphins. Then give them this article:

http://harvardmagazine.com/2009/09/the-poor-payoff-of-pleasure-postponed

Question for you: what are the other things that they recommend that you do?

You said your parents have PhDs and have never been to any of your races, that you have run decent HS times and that you aren't a troll.

Sorry, but I don't buy you're story. I bet your parents are loving but too busy to give you the time you crave. And I bet you are slower than you say.

Child of Unsupportive Parents wrote:

I'm not a troll, this is for real.

I have a 3.6 GPA, but my parents come from a very strict/academic focus background. My parents had Ph.D's in England, before they moved to the US.

They always ask me why I run and I once told them "because I enjoyed doing it." They said something along the lines of "Well, if this is just something you do after school to hangout with your friends, then you shouldn't do it, find something else you enjoy."

But I do enjoy running. I ran 70+ mile weeks this summer because well I'm from Texas, and I won't say the team, but we're ranked very high in the rankings.

I only have one more year with them, so yeah, I'll just try to ignore it and not talk to them, because they just won't understand.

Truly sorry to hear your story. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but F**K YOUR PARENTS. If this is the way they treat you, they are not fit to be parents in the first place. Obviuosly, your happiness means absolutely nothing to them.

Plan ahead. It will be rough, but do whatever you can to enter college as an independent student. Accept no financial support from your parents -- "owing" them anything will give them further ammunition to force their selfish expectations upon you. Write them off until they come around. If they don't, you're better off being disowned.

Winning races may help.

I will show some sympathy, but for your parents not you. They sound smart. If you are only a decent HS runner, you won't be anything special in college. There is so much competition these days...maybe you can find something else you are better at in school and apply yourself there. Of course keep running leisurely...

I was a 5:02 HS miler and 4:07 (only race under 4:10) college miler. It consumed my life and never got my anywhere (never made D1 nationals) and looking back all that time I spent training was...nevermind. I know everyone probably looks at their experiences differently, so don't judge me here, I'm just trying to say my experience training my ass off didn't get my anywhere and now I find myself a ton happier just running 4-5x a week without feeling that i need to win the world's approval by running sub 4.

Best of luck, seriously.

if you run fast enough this fall and for outdoor track, you may find a D3 scholarship somewhere.

since your parents have phdees they probably have ideas on where you should go to school and they probably make decent money to send you somewhere.

so you will have to weigh growing balls and getting away from them or taking their opinion tainted money.

they obviously care enough about you to let you continue running, so don't get too wimpy.

"I'm a senior in high school, and my parents are so unsupportive of me running cross country."

Why on earth would you post such a long winded story on a random online board? The only thing I can imagine is that you want sympathy or are too dumb to take actionable steps to actually fix your issue.

We don't know who you are, so how can we have sympathy for you?

I'd suggest finding another audience, like the friends of your parents (or someone else who KNOWS you and your family) who can sway your parents opinion.

I'm sure you could print out these responses and show your parents, but I don't think that will change their mind:0

dafadfdfdsfd wrote:

if you run fast enough this fall and for outdoor track, you may find a D3 scholarship somewhere.

There are no D3 athletic scholarships, only D1 and D2.

Archimedes wrote:

There are no D3 athletic scholarships, only D1 and D2.

While this might be explicitly true, many D3 coaches will help you find the necessary money to attend their college. My D3 coach helped me find an extra $5000 per year for school with just a simple phone call.

Your parents are right. You are costing them money with all the shoes and extra food you eat. You should stop now, get a job and start paying them back for all the misery you caused them. 17 years of support and you still just ignore their pleas to make something worthwhile of your self. Now if you were a Triathlete they might accept you, as the rest of the world would to.

As we're just getting YOUR spin on things, your parents might not be as bad as you say, but if they're even close to as bad, then they sound like assholes to me; or at a minimum very bad parents. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. As someone else said, do they not have hobbies?

Run away and live on the streets. That'll show them you mean business.

If you are already a senior, then you don't have to put up with it much longer. Except with your college choice. Just do what you gotta do, and it will work out. I guess the main problem would be, "Son, if you run in college, we aren't going to help you financially." That would suck. But you could still mangage it.

Try to get that 1600 down. Your 3200 has great potential, but don't ignore the 1600.

we're going to be respectful today or, to put it another way, we're going to observe a minimum standard of respect. the thread to which you refer included posts that didn't come close to meeting that standard.

the most salient element of ted kennedy's career is his ability to not hate, not be cynical, not keep score, not lay in the tall weeds. for this reason, orrin hatch and other of the *best* republican senators considered kennedy their friend. it would be nice if those of both political persuasions took a lesson from kennedy and hatch, and could comport themselves with the dignity of each.

but i know that will not happen, because the internet is populated by small, classless, unequipped, ignorant, fearful people, whose only outlet is to lash out from the safety of their keyboards. for those who behave according to type, do your best to listen to your better angels today, if you can still hear them.

all you need to do is show your parents the alternative to running

for example tell them you quit running and then pay the pregnant girl at your hs to knock on the door and tell your parents it is your child... or get some druggies to hang around the house... anything to show them that running is better than normal high school activites... be creative

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for any sympathy. All I asked was if other runners have parents who don't support them running and how they deal with it.

Like I said, both my parents are English, and they understand very little of the US culture (whether that's a good thing or bad thing, I'll leave that to you), they don't understand that participating in a high school sport is not a right, it's a privilege.

Just about week ago, I went to the NCAA Clearinghouse thing, and at the end you were suppose to pay $60.

When I told my parents (even though I was paying for it), they flipped out. They thought that it wasn't real, like some fake website trying to steal money. I guess it's just hard for them to understand.

Don't get me wrong, they are great parents, besides the fact that they don't support me to run.

Like I said, and many people here already did too, I'm a senior and I guess all I have to do is get train harder, get a scholarship, and only put up with this for one more year.

This post is a winner