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Child of Unsupportive Parents
How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 4:31PM Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I'm a senior in high school, and my parents are so unsupportive of me running cross country.

I've run cross country, indoor track, and outdoor track since I was in 8th grade, and since sophomore year, my parents have been telling me to quit so I don't waste my time.

Some common phrases that I often hear are:

"If you're not the even the best in your school, do you think you'll get anywhere by running (meaning getting into a college)."

"If you're not going to rely on running to eat, why are you wasting your time now (meaning if you're not going to be a pro athlete, why are you running now, wasting your time.)

"You put so much work into running, and look at the things it's done for you (regarding my stress reaction I had junior year)."

"Running is bad for your health anyway."

There are many more comments like these that I hear all the time. And it sucks.

My parents have never been to one single race throughout my whole high school career. The only thing they have helped me at all, is driving me to practice and picking me up from practice...and even still half the time I have to bike 8 miles from my house to school for practice, because they're "too busy."


Some of my responses to them are

"If you've never been to any of my races, how do you know I'm not the best at my school (I'm actually the 3rd best, but number 1 and 2 are both sub 4:20 milers and sub 9:20 2 milers. My PR's are 4:26 and 9:36).

Sometimes they'll say like "Why do you run, it's stupid and pointless."

I'll say something like "Well, if it's stupid and pointless, why do people still run?"

And then they'll say something like "Well killing people is stupid and pointless, why do people still do it."




It's just basically this one huge argument that goes on forever and I'm soooooooo sick of it.


What can I do so if they aren't going to support me, to just don't care at all. Like not support me, fine, but don't unsupport me.
edumacator
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 4:37PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Do your parents have any hobbies? I mean at the end of the day, reading a book or watching TV or listening to music are about as useful in the "providing income/food" category as running is. Unless they're book/TV/music critics, then find something else. Other than that, I'd just focus on getting out of the house because your parents sound like real shits.
I can
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 4:37PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Learn to ignore your parents. Most kids have this skill by your age
Iowan
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 4:38PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
This truly sucks. Talk to your coach, your guidance counselor or a teacher. Someone needs to talk with your parents and you certainly are good enough to run at the college level! I am a guidance counselor and I have coaches talking to me that would love to have some kids with your talent! Stay positive and keep at it! If you work hard in school you will most certainly be running at the next level. Good work!
ronner
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 4:47PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Probably a troll but I'll bite.
Are you doing well in school? If so, they have no grounds to talk to you like they are. If you are getting poor grades, well, you have little ground to stand on. Tell them you are learning about hard work, leadership, and sportsmanship. All you should really have to tell them is "I enjoy running." The other thing is you might actually be able to get some scholarship $$$ with those times at a non-powerhouse school. There are plenty of stats too that show that HSers involved in sports have better self-esteem and are less likely to be involved in crime/drugs/sleeping around and all that unscrupulous stuff.
......................
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 4:58PM - in reply to ronner Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I was a D1 walk on with 4:50 mile and 10:20 2 mile HS prs. I ended up with a 1/2 scholarship by my junior year. Now that I'm older and have many more responsibilities (family and a 60 to 70 hr/wk job) I'm so grateful that I still have running in my life. It keeps me sane, its such a stress reliever. If I didn't continue running after HS, I'd probably self medicate to deal with life. There are also the physical benefits. The life long health benefits more than outweigh any temporary injury.
--0--
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 5:25PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I had very similar PR's to you at the same age. I went on to get a scholarship at a very good D1 school and run in multiple NCAA finals. Run for yourself and don't let your parents put a limit on your potential.
formidable doer of the nasty
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 5:29PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
With those PRs I gotta say I'm with your parents on this one.
jabroniii
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 5:47PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Child of Unsupportive Parents wrote:

I'm a senior in high school, and my parents are so unsupportive of me running cross country.

I've run cross country, indoor track, and outdoor track since I was in 8th grade, and since sophomore year, my parents have been telling me to quit so I don't waste my time.

Some common phrases that I often hear are:

"If you're not the even the best in your school, do you think you'll get anywhere by running (meaning getting into a college)."

"If you're not going to rely on running to eat, why are you wasting your time now (meaning if you're not going to be a pro athlete, why are you running now, wasting your time.)

"You put so much work into running, and look at the things it's done for you (regarding my stress reaction I had junior year)."

"Running is bad for your health anyway."

There are many more comments like these that I hear all the time. And it sucks.

My parents have never been to one single race throughout my whole high school career. The only thing they have helped me at all, is driving me to practice and picking me up from practice...and even still half the time I have to bike 8 miles from my house to school for practice, because they're "too busy."


Some of my responses to them are

"If you've never been to any of my races, how do you know I'm not the best at my school (I'm actually the 3rd best, but number 1 and 2 are both sub 4:20 milers and sub 9:20 2 milers. My PR's are 4:26 and 9:36).

Sometimes they'll say like "Why do you run, it's stupid and pointless."

I'll say something like "Well, if it's stupid and pointless, why do people still run?"

And then they'll say something like "Well killing people is stupid and pointless, why do people still do it."




It's just basically this one huge argument that goes on forever and I'm soooooooo sick of it.


What can I do so if they aren't going to support me, to just don't care at all. Like not support me, fine, but don't unsupport me.


What are your PRs seriously?
Eric & Lyle
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 5:56PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Off 'em
burnt out child star
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 6:27PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
This is good theres a chance that you will win a major medal.

I would rather have your parents in a second. My parents were obsessed with my running. I could never run enough or fast enough even after breaking records, and winning the JOs in the 800m & 1500m several times.

Looking back, the most successful athletes who ran extremely well later in life had parents that were not very interested in their sport and they just mildly supported them.

Good luck!
Child of Unsupportive Parents
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 7:54PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I'm not a troll, this is for real.

I have a 3.6 GPA, but my parents come from a very strict/academic focus background. My parents had Ph.D's in England, before they moved to the US.

They always ask me why I run and I once told them "because I enjoyed doing it." They said something along the lines of "Well, if this is just something you do after school to hangout with your friends, then you shouldn't do it, find something else you enjoy."

But I do enjoy running. I ran 70+ mile weeks this summer because well I'm from Texas, and I won't say the team, but we're ranked very high in the rankings.

I only have one more year with them, so yeah, I'll just try to ignore it and not talk to them, because they just won't understand.
moloradocudstuffin
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 8:05PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Prove them wrong. Earn a scholarship (very do-able with your PRs), and then tell them to suck your D.

"Hey Mom and Dad, I just got a 1/2 ride at the school of my choice, no thanks to you. Sure is good I stuck with running or I'd be paying the full tab."

Then, when you graduate and get a job, you can tell them where to stick their negative attitude.
michael?!
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 8:15PM - in reply to I can Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

I can wrote:

Learn to ignore your parents. Most kids have this skill by your age


This.
Child of Unsupportive Parents
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 8:19PM - in reply to moloradocudstuffin Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Exactly what I'm planning to do.
inefficient parents
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 8:33PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Child of Unsupportive Parents wrote:

"If you're not the even the best in your school, do you think you'll get anywhere by running (meaning getting into a college)."


Tell them they have a great point. You're not the best at history, mathematics, english or home ec, in fact you're better at running than those, so you have decided to quit school and focus on running from now on. After all it is better to be good at one thing, than mediocre at all of those other things.

Plus running will help you to stay healthy through your life.
heel to mouth
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 8:44PM - in reply to inefficient parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
"Plus running will help you to stay healthy through your life."?/quote


Not true at all.
Mr. Conundrum
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 9:52PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Is this problem just about running or are there other issue too?

If its just about running and you otherwise can communicate with them then I would recommend I sit down with them. Schedule a time where you can talk about running with your parents. Stay calm and don't be reactive no matter what they say.

Tell them that you realize they think its a waste of time and you can understadn why they feel thqat way but explain how that attitude hurts you and why runnng is important to you (sense accomplishment, emotional and physical benefits)

Ask them if they ever had a goal that their parents didn't understand or support.

If the problem is greater than just running, let me know.

Good luck.
A solution is not part of the
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 10:00PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Tell them you are thinking about joining the army since they are so non-supportive of your efforts in school. Ask them if they wish to disown you in the process - if so - you will go your own way.

Family love and support is a two way street.
trollometer
RE: How To Deal With Unsupportive Parents, Not Letting You Run 8/25/2009 10:33PM - in reply to Child of Unsupportive Parents Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
You said you're a senior, right? As soon as you're out of the house, the only possible reasons you might have to obey your parents orders are love, respect, and tuition payments. Given the situation you've described, I'm going to guess tuition is going to be their strongest angle. Just tell them your grades, and as long as those grades are good, they don't need to hear about things they don't care about, like running. Just do whatever you like, and don't be bothered by a$$hole parents. Only follow their suggestions if you believe they're right.
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