Ladies, it's 2009: should a woman take her husband's last name?

If the parents have different last names, what last name does their kid get? Or is an entirely new last name made up for the kid. Seems complicated.

Names are outdated. People should have bar codes.

Good question. I understand that's it's old school, but so is the institution of marriage. In some European countries, traditional marriages are being replaced by partnerships and other arrangements. I wish that could happen here.

In the meantime, if I get married, I will proudly take my husband's name and lose mine. I DO hate it when some women choose to have really long self-important names!

There's nothing a woman "should" or "shouldn't" do, but women who DO decide to take their husband's last name are not any better or worse than those who don't. It's a personal decision.

But the ones who take a double barrelled name ARE worse.

I wouldn't care if I marry a woman who wants to keep her last name. I wouldn't care if she hyphenated her name with mine or put my name as her middle name.

Hyphenated last names for children are unacceptable (having the wife's last name as a middle name is fine). It is narcissistic. The same thing goes with naming a kid something like Joseph A. Smith IV. Do these people think that they're royalty? If you want to have the kid have the same name, that's fine but just leave out the roman numerals or the Jr. Is the roman numerals thing only an American practice or do UK people do that too?

sister satan funkhouser wrote:

If the parents have different last names, what last name does their kid get? Or is an entirely new last name made up for the kid. Seems complicated.

Maybe if there were multiple kids, one could take the mother's name and the other could take the father's. It could cause some confusion though ...

sister satan funkhouser wrote:

If the parents have different last names, what last name does their kid get? Or is an entirely new last name made up for the kid. Seems complicated.

The kids get the father's name. It's not complicated.

I know a couple who kept their separate names and gave their children different last names.

I also knew a woman whose maiden name was Greathead. Of course she couldn't get married fast enough.

My wife had alreagy established a name for herself in her industry using her given birth names flipflopped and her parental surname. I do not think we had more than a few sentence conversation about it. We never felt it was strange for her to keep using it, but that was the 60s and we may well have just forgotten to change it.

Good thing too, today her hypehenated name would be

Mrs. Flip Flop Daddys-Mine-Next-Anotherone-Penultimate-Current.

My second wife came pre-hyphened and so she stayed until her

headstone read First Maiden Mine.

Aint no big thang today.

I've not seen roman numerals or Jr here in names, but a lot of hypenated surnames.

Chinese people do not change names when they get married. The child takes the father's name.

You should ask yourself, "What purpose does it serve?"

I can't imagine anyone in the UK having numerals at the end of their name. My American landlord on the other hand has "III" at the end of offical correspondance.

I don't think double-barrelled names are all that bad and see no problem with a woman opting for that rather than keeping her maiden name or changing it to her husband's. Kids should probably just get the dad's name.

Only for the sake of practicality, because, for example, what happens when a Jolie-Pitt marries a Holmes-Cruise (assuming one of the couples has a boy)? Do they become Suri Jolie-Pitt-Holmes-Cruise? That might be too much to ask of a kid just learning to write her name. However, we could always change things, so guys take the girl's name, or allow couples to combine their last names to create a new one. lol. It might be a good thing for those with unfortunate-sounding last names.

They do this in Kenya

tangents dude wrote:

I wouldn't care if I marry a woman who wants to keep her last name. I wouldn't care if she hyphenated her name with mine or put my name as her middle name.

Hyphenated last names for children are unacceptable (having the wife's last name as a middle name is fine). It is narcissistic. The same thing goes with naming a kid something like Joseph A. Smith IV. Do these people think that they're royalty? If you want to have the kid have the same name, that's fine but just leave out the roman numerals or the Jr. Is the roman numerals thing only an American practice or do UK people do that too?

Only one UK person does the roman numeral thing. Her name is Queen Elizabeth II. Nobody else does it. British people who have double-barreled surnames have usually had them for years and that is the actual surname of the husband, not an amalgamation of the wife's and the husband's surname.

It makes sense that both people in a marriage have the same name, especially if there are kids. Maybe they should choose a whole new name?!

Personal decision. What's your wife do? Is it beneficial for her to keep her last name for her work? A lot of people do this -- academics who publish, doctors who've made a name for themselves, etc. She can have a 'professional name' and a 'rest of life name' but that can be complicated I'm sure.

It's up to her.

As far as kids goes, it's up to you both.

Unless it is for professional reasons, I don't understand it. Why get married? I think it is selfish rather than progressive.

I kept my last name, though it's certainly not for everyone, nor do I necessarily advocate it as such. For me, it came down to any number of things, but primarily, I like my name--it was the name I was born with, the name I've lived with my entire life, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. Would any of you be willing to change your name in marriage? If it's a question of what to name the children, why not take your wife's name, and name the children that?