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control freak?
Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:09AM Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Maybe crazy is an exaggeration, but my girlfriend gets pretty nuts when she's drunk. She doesn't get slutty, but she does a bunch of shots without pacing herself and pretty much goes from sober to blackout in about an hour and a half. She's home in CA for winter break right now, and called me like 20 times in 3 hours while she was out with her friends and wasted. She was having a good time and I knew she was okay because she was with friends, but I still get really worried about her getting taken advantage of by some creep or wandering off from the bar and getting lost or some other unfortunate thing that happens because she's so insanely drunk. I told her this morning that I get worried by her behavior when she gets that wasted, but made it clear that I wasn't asking her to stop going out with friends or to only go out with me there. I don't want our relationship to be like that any more than she does, and I really appreciated all of her calls last night (in fact, one or two would have been plenty), but I still feel like I'm sort of being a control freak. Am I out of line here, and what else might I say to her to make it clear that I'm not trying to control her?
uranus is your friend
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:19AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Dude, I have been in the exact situation as you are ... key words "have been". Unless she wants to change, you will have the same problems. My ex-gf used to get mean (but only to me) after the blackouts and call me all sorts of sh*t. Didn't remember a thing in the morning. She usually went out with friends so never got into too much trouble. I finally asked myself wtf am I doing and dumped her. She couldn't understand why since she was so kind when sober.
been done
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:21AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Happened to my friend. He was the only one who didnt think she was an idiot for drinking so much. Then she ended up f***ing like 5 guys.

These girls always end up bad
Last Runner
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:22AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
You told her how you feel (that was right) but you can't control what she does.

If she continues to behave this way, you'll have to decide whether you are codependent or have the strength just to move on.

"Like 20 times in 3 hours."

That would be enough for me to mosey on down the road.
control freak?
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:23AM - in reply to uranus is your friend Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Mine isn't mean- just incapacitated in every sense of the word. I understand why you wanted to get out of that relationship, though; I think I'm going to have a tougher time because she's actually more affectionate with me when she's drunk. The last time she was drunk with me she tried to nail me in a bar bathroom- unfortunately the mechanics weren't possible in such cramped quarters.
big pharma
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:24AM - in reply to been done Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
i've been here a couple times - ended up being on some sort of psych meds which slingshot the booze.

one or the other - or bad things happen.

if you care, try to get her help. if she's not in the running for something special, run away as fast as you can.
Unholy Cumulus
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:26AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Take advantage of the situation and go for anal. After that I would say dump her.
uhhh, what?
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:27AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

control freak? wrote:

The last time she was drunk with me she tried to nail me in a bar bathroom- unfortunately the mechanics weren't possible in such cramped quarters.


If there is a will, there is a way.
uranus is your friend
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:31AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Mine was either or ... either really mean or really easy. I basically did what Unholy Columbus said and nailed her in every way before I dumped her. Her mean blackouts were more than I could take.
uranus is your friend
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:37AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
One of my episodes with her is in this thread. Used a different user name.

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=2334585&page=0
jean
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:50AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

control freak? wrote:

Mine isn't mean- just incapacitated in every sense of the word. I understand why you wanted to get out of that relationship, though; I think I'm going to have a tougher time because she's actually more affectionate with me when she's drunk. The last time she was drunk with me she tried to nail me in a bar bathroom- unfortunately the mechanics weren't possible in such cramped quarters.

Dude, I have been there and done that, to coin a phrase.

I guess all I can say is that the f*cking you're getting now is not worth the f*cking you're going to get later. You'll be walking away sooner or later; for the sake of you *both* you'll be better served if you make it sooner.

For this situation, try to think with your brains and not your dick.
control freak?
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 11:53AM - in reply to uranus is your friend Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

uranus is your friend wrote:

One of my episodes with her is in this thread. Used a different user name.

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=2334585&page=0



Is this you:

Well... I slapped my now ex-girlfriend on new years
uranus is your friend
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 12:00PM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

control freak? wrote:


uranus is your friend wrote:

One of my episodes with her is in this thread. Used a different user name.

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=2334585&page=0



Is this you:

Well... I slapped my now ex-girlfriend on new years


Haha ... no. I am "crinkle face" in that thread.
I was the mean one
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 12:27PM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
My situation was a bit different, but hope it adds some depth. I'm a guy, and for two years in college I'd got wasted constantly, was mean most of the time, and I have some crazy stories, consequently. My friends couldn't, and still can't, understand how I was so mean when drunk because I'm nice the rest of the time. I was single then.

Finally I cut back, stopped drinking so much, and got a girlfriend. Still, I did get wasted at times, and I ended up cheating on my girlfriend a couple of times when I had been drinking. After that, I completely stopped. Went sober for 6 months, and now I only drink in moderation, and I really do mean that.

I was a mean drunk, but I wanted to change and did. If your gf really wants to change, then you should give her that chance, just know it will be difficult. If she's set in her way, then hit the road. But make it clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable.
Older and wiser
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 12:39PM - in reply to uranus is your friend Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I married a woman like the OP describes. I learned the hard way, her drinking until she puked on a regular basis was only the mask of deep problems. It wasn't until years later that a sad history of sexual abuse was revealed that she had suffered as a child.

Despite much mental therapy, meds etc the miserable marriage ended in divorce.

Stay away from women like the OP describes.
Camoo
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 1:24PM - in reply to Older and wiser Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
On the basis of what the OP is telling us, I gotta say "walk away." This does not have any kind of bright future.
sir state the obvious
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 1:33PM - in reply to Camoo Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
2 things: f*** her nasty...then bail
darkness
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 1:58PM - in reply to sir state the obvious Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
To the OP:

Not sure what it is like in your neck of the woods, but where I am from girls don't drink shots constantly to the point of blackout. Guys don't either. I live in the city of a large Big-10 Uni, so I know about 20-somethings. I went there also.

I believe you when you say she soesn't get slutty, but if she gets romantic when you are around, she probably FEELS the same way when you aren't.

If you were my friend I would tell you I don't want you to be heartbroken by some cheating she might do in the future. It isn't worth it. If you don't think she can break your heart, then don't sweat it. Just wait for the eventuality that SHE WILL implode eventually and it will be ugly.

You have to ask yourself why she feels compelled to drink compulsively to the point of blackout for no particular reason ... and why she does it repeatedly?

She will either whore around on you, have a car accident, or some other accident. Just because she is with her friends does not mean she is "safe", they aren't talking her out of this expensive garbage anyway. You gotta wonder what is bothering her that drives her to this?
control freak?
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/27/2008 3:43PM - in reply to darkness Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
She's told me a couple of things about why she does it. She's told me that she does it when she's nervous in a social situation (clearly not the case last night), and also she just seems reluctant to change. She says she's drank like this since she started drinking in college, and just doesn't really want to change because it's never been a problem, despite getting arrested once for a public intoxication and spending the night in the drunk tank. Of course, I'm not one to talk about that stuff, as I've been arrested for open container and have made more than my fair share of stupid drunk mistakes. I have a few posts under various handles in the other thread, too. Other reasons are that she doesn't like beer, and that she thinks it's fun to get wasted. I hear everybody's point on here about trying to find out why she does it. When I used to get blackout drunk in college, it was because I didn't feel confident in my ability to pace myself and drink whenever I felt like it, so I tried to get it all out of my system on the weekends. This is what she does, and I should mention that she doesn't get drunk very often at all. Last night was the first time in about 6 weeks. So maybe at least part of it is her confidence in herself to exercise self control with alcohol, so better to have a contained chaos?
wtf888
RE: Girlfriend is a crazy drunk- what do I do? 12/28/2008 2:23AM - in reply to control freak? Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
first time in six weeks?? thats fine, just when she does turn off your cellphone or avoid her and youll be fine!
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