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distance guy
Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 12:22PM Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Thought this was a fun topic - what else you got?

• Go to the office in your pajamas and slippers.
• Fill an empty gallon container with milk from the coffee station. (free at my job)
• Place a giant March Madness bracket on the cafeteria wall. (very fireable offense at my job)
• Bring in a pillow, and put your head down for an hour at your desk.
• Turn on your out-of-office to indicate you have left to shoot a porn flick.
• Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them where you're going. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
• Bring in and play with a hand held video game, with the sound on.
• Put on a headband, wristbands, sneakers and an iPod, and powerwalk the hallways.
• Use the Heisman pose as your hallway greeting to those you know.
• Stand at a hallway intersection and request to see everyone’s ID badge as they pass.
• Wear a headlamp all day.
• Buy pants way too big, and pull them up to your chest for the day.
• Every time someone in a meeting makes a suggestion, ask, “Are you f****** kidding me!?”
• Ask random people in the office what sex they are.
• Standing at one end of the longest hall, see if you can roll a baseball to the other end, without hitting a wall on either side.
Mr Conundrum
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 12:30PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Pack up all your stuff.

Make sure you leave on good terms with everyone there. (1) Its in YOUR best interest to do so and (2) Its the decent thing to do.
Llama Master
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 12:34PM - in reply to Mr Conundrum Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I agree, you might need a reference one day and if you leave on bad terms you can forget that.
distance guy
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 12:39PM - in reply to Llama Master Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Yes, don't do anything to upset potential future employers, and all that. With that said... Holy crap people, these are just jokes. Lighten up.
King of Doucheville
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 12:42PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Start a lame ass website about why your job sucks.
Harry Kooter
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 12:56PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I used to work in restaurants and we'd talk about this on occasion when we were bored. At one point, a pair of my work pants developed one of those crotch region holes. The guys I worked with decided that on my last day I should open the hole up a little more and wait tables with the boys hanging out the bottom and act like I didn't notice. Maybe make a few comments like, "hey, did it suddenly get a little cold in here?" I didn't go through with this plan.

The idea of running food to a table either naked or wearing only an apron came up a few times. I'm pretty sure that would be a health code violation. No one ever did it as far as I know.

I also thought it might be funny to just throw a temper tantrum for no reason. Just go off on a customer for asking for something totally reasonable. "More coffee!? What the hell! You think you can just come in here and demand things like that like I'm your damn slave? Well f*** you! f*** you all! Get your own damn coffee." Then just walk out, preferably shattering the coffee pot on the ground on the way out.
haha, YO
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 1:19PM - in reply to Harry Kooter Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I worked at a grocery store and this one kid did things like this all the time.

He would throw people's groceries down the belt as hard as he could and then get confrontational when they got pissed off.

He would act like he was retarted when he bagged groceries.

He ended up working in the office, he would answer the phone, ask "Press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish", hear the person press the button, then begin talking.

While working in the office, he patched a phone sex line into the phones by the registers and made the cashiers pick it up.

He poured out a thing of orange juice, filled it with some Grey Goose vodka and paid for the orange juice. He did this a few times.

My last day at the store I hid under a giant box and followed my manager around until he figured out a giant box was following him around, pretty damn funny. I was asked to leave.

These stories work better for meaningless jobs that don't matter for any recommendations or anything like that.
DImlunmarmerjeuvensam
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 1:30PM - in reply to haha, YO Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Pull an Upper Decker.
Mr Conundrum
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 1:32PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
OK, I'll play along.

You type up an official memo and you post it in a main corridor. It should say something like:

We have recently had an audit completed which has indicated that there has been excessive and inappropriate use of the internet including email. We have compiled a record of email and internet usage for each individual employee.

This has been a major source of waste and will be no longer tolerated. Each employer will soon be scheduled to review their history of internet use with the auditors and management.
the fan
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 3:27PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
a client took me out to lunch on my last day. I had too many drinks. came back to the office and put my head down on the desk to rest (as i had nothing else to do). boss told me that i could leave if i was going to do that. I told him that i couldn't leave til 5pm, cause i carpooled with another guy. he said if i couldn't stay awake then i'd have to go wait in the car, as i was disrespecting the office-work environment! lol
trailrunner64
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 4:09PM - in reply to the fan Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
The classic, of course, is to loudly play a recording of Johnny Paycheck's, "Take This Job and Shove It."
Mr. Obvious
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 4:32PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Keep asking where the TPS reports are.

Say, "Well, I'm not sure I'll be missing this job"
Southeastern
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 5:14PM - in reply to Mr. Obvious Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
- At 5 pm, stick your hand down your pants. Play with your nuts, get 'em real good and sweaty, and then walk around and shake everyone's hand as you say goodbye.
rombus
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 5:28PM - in reply to the fan Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

the fan wrote:

a client took me out to lunch on my last day. I had too many drinks. came back to the office and put my head down on the desk to rest (as i had nothing else to do). boss told me that i could leave if i was going to do that. I told him that i couldn't leave til 5pm, cause i carpooled with another guy. he said if i couldn't stay awake then i'd have to go wait in the car, as i was disrespecting the office-work environment! lol

_________________________________________

I agree with your boss. I'll bet your parents and future wife are proud of you!! Wow!!
victoria, b.c., canada, runner
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 8:23PM - in reply to distance guy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
>>>Ask random people in the office what sex they are<<
Ask the random females in your office if they WANT to have sex with you.
db37
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 10:06PM - in reply to victoria, b.c., canada, runner Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
on the last day of work at my one job there was a girl i had a crush on, we had talked but she was married so i didnt really think much of it. well i had already walked out the door and decided i should go back and atleast ask for an email address or something. she gave it to me, now she is divorced and have been with me for almost 3 years. kinda funny cause i just wanted a quickie with a hot married chick and it ended up being my future wife.
sam w
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 10:48PM - in reply to Mr Conundrum Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Mr Conundrum wrote:

Pack up all your stuff.

Make sure you leave on good terms with everyone there. (1) Its in YOUR best interest to do so and (2) Its the decent thing to do.


jokes aside, that is the correct answer.

i have had jobs i hated and was tempted each time i left to tell a few people what i thought of them. oddly, each time a few years down the road i ran into those same people in a professional setting. i never thought i would see them again, let alone be in a position where it would be to my advantage to make sure we got along well. each time i was glad i left with some class.

it is a much smaller world than you might think and you might be very surprised who knows who or who is married to who.

(or is that who is married to whom? where is "Spelling and grammer" when you need him?)
Wanker
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 11:06PM - in reply to sam w Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Nail the blonde in accounting. One more time.
Richard Perry
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 11:13PM - in reply to Mr Conundrum Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Mr Conundrum wrote:

OK, I'll play along.

You type up an official memo and you post it in a main corridor. It should say something like:

We have recently had an audit completed which has indicated that there has been excessive and inappropriate use of the internet including email. We have compiled a record of email and internet usage for each individual employee.

This has been a major source of waste and will be no longer tolerated. Each employer will soon be scheduled to review their history of internet use with the auditors and management.


I'm going to keep this one in mind. The business my department supports has been sold and I have a work release date at the end of the year with a pretty good severence package.

I may not post it in main corridor but I'll leave a couple of copies of an "internal memo" on the copy machine. It'll make the rounds before I get back to my cubicle.
The REAL Champ Kind
RE: Things to do on your last day of work (that will not get you escorted from the building): 2/1/2008 11:19PM - in reply to trailrunner64 Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

trailrunner64 wrote:

The classic, of course, is to loudly play a recording of Johnny Paycheck's, "Take This Job and Shove It."


HAHAHAHAHAHA! Shove this job! What a rebel!

Hilarious dude. Got anymore zingers?
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