|used to be naughty girl :)|
want girl stories huh? well i'm late twenties now, pretty cute, good local runner, drink very very rarely and all-around respectable bring home to mama kind of gal but... in my early twenties when I wasn't running I was a freaken hoebag :)
1. pounded back some shots with my girlfriends, my guy friend drove us to the local nudie bar and did full strip amatuer night, about 5 times. including wet t-shirt night.
2. sitting on my f*** buddies' couch at a big house party chatting up some guy friend and I watch my f*** buddies' girlfriend walk by topless to the hot tub, so I get in the hot tub too, we end up naked dancing in the middle of the party. Later I get angry that he wants to sleep with her instead of me and punch his window, breaking it with my fist and get in a tussle with him on his lawn. f***er:)
3. me and my drunk ass girlfriend leave the local bar and she sees some twit ride by her on a bike yelling names at her, she races after the girl on the bike, tackles her, and beats the shit out of that girl, but a cop was watching and hauls her off to jail. so I have a guy friend drive me down to pick her up. make out with the dude, get fingered in the parking lot of the police station.
4. used to run home from the bars, about a mile or two full out with shoes in hand.
5. dance on any table, speaker, cage in a drunken heatbeat :)
6. went wood theiven one night with my guy buddies and make a stipper stage complete with pole in their living room
7. bored with my girlfriend one night at my guy friends stipper stage, we told them if you bring us booze we'll give you a show. I remember us having a naked lez-fest on the floor of the stage with some guy friends watching.
8. umm a couple threesome, two girls on one guy variety.
9. naked streaking, lots of tit flashing, river inner-tube floats with more nudity. handled lots of tits back then:)
10. made out with girlfriend at bars to be attention whores, got the whole bar gaping at us.
11. guy went down on me outside the bar in the alley.
12. woke up in the door jam of our front door thinking f***!!! my bedroom is freakin bright, stole a yard pink flamingo, and had bloody skinned knees from tripping when drunk.
and so much more, it was a northern cali college town and I can't believe how out of control we were. Now don't you be bitchy hypocrits, lol I bet your wives have some stories from when they were younger :)
That reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Steak 'N Shake with rojo and then walked 2 miles home barefoot only to realize that I left my house key in my car that I left in a parking garage. Call me a bitchy hypocrite, but there was no stripping involved and the hot tub was broken.
I have a friend that is a bit of an alcoholic. He already had one DUI under his belt. He got very drunk at a party one night and decided that he wanted to drive the 30 miles home. He fell asleep while driving home on 294 in Chicago and slammed into the center divider at about 3 am. Luckily no other cars were around. His car was pretty much totaled but he drove the rest of the way home.
He got to his neighborhood with his car barely running, ran over a stop sign on his street and got to his driveway and parked. The bad thing for his is that he was in his neighbors driveway. His car wouldnít start so he ran into his house to see if his wife would come help but while doing that his neighbors called the police.
He saw the police coming up and asked his wife to say she was driving but she refused and he went out and confessed. Got his second DIU and was without a license for 6 months.
But he hasnít given up and still gets drunk about 3-4 nights a week (he admits he is an alcoholic, and I refuse to drink when he is around)
I never hurt so good as I used to back then.
|No to 2012|
I got stranded in Cuba.
Ashore from a rusty old tanker, flying a Panamanian flag, I was well into my way to getting merry and a bit reckless in a local tavern, when I became aware that the most beautiful, desirable female Iíd ever seen was leaning against the bar door, observing me.
I never did find out just how íprofessionalí a prostitute she was, or even it that was her primary profession, but waving a wad of dollars has a positive effect on the majority of Cubans (and most others) and she was by my side in a flash.
Now at the back of my mind, I knew perfectly well that my ship was due to cast off in the early hours, but under the influence of drink and the fact that I was in Paradise - I couldnít give a shit.
It was only as time went on - and my money running out! - I began to understand the implications of my actions.
Thanks to whoever lives in Cienfuegos, I was never denounced to the local authorities as an alien capitalist and the girl (I found out she was 18) didnít make any great efforts to kick me out.
God - the body she had as well - just watching the naturally erotic movement of her body walking back to our place was enough to raise an erection.
God knows what would have eventually happened, but luckily for me a Norwegian freighter docked that was shorthanded and the skipper had no problem signing up someone with a first mates certificate as a deckhand.
Think he also found someone to play chess with helped as well.
With my pidgin Spanish and her pidgin English, she seemed to get the impression I was taking her with me!
It was worth a few extra free shags.
Hell, Iíd have married the girl in a flash had I met her anywhere else.
Curse you Castro!
Wow..........I can't think about all the stupid shit I've done drunk. What's the song say? "We drink for the stories we tell."
Most recently: Stole my friend and boat neighbor's moped, and drove it through the zoo (not directly) to Stanley's on a Sunday night (you know what i'm talkin' about!). Came out hammered, from what i hear, and stuck my hand up a girls skirt while she was asking me not to drive the moped home. Got on moped (1981 Honda Hobbit) and proceeded to drive the moped into a tree................directly in front of a cop.
Cop: "You alright?"
Cop: "You know your head's bleeding?"
Me: "No man, i'm fine........oh shit is that blood?"
Proceeded to 'yes sir, no sir' and mention some boys in blue that I know. Finally he radioed an ambulance that came and picked me up and took me 2 blocks to the hospital. MRI was negative. Went back the next morning and couldn't find the moped. None of the city pounds had it. Assuming it's scrap now. Sorry Chuck.
stole a microwave from someone's garage. I was very confused in the morning as to why I had done this, and carried it a good half mile home (potentially being seen by lots of people). Particularly as I already own a microwave, which I use once a fortnight at most
|Philip J. Frye|
That reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Steak 'N Shake with rojo and then walked 2 miles home barefoot only to realize that I left my house key in my car that I left in a parking garage. Call me a bitchy hypocrite, but there was no stripping involved and the hot tub was broken.[/quote]
Gadzooks! You're outta control!
i masturbated in front of a crowd at a party and shot at this blondes face. the boyfriend tried to attack me, but i got a bat out from my trunk (always kept one in the trunk) and busted his face up. afterwards, everyone started rushing at me, so i got in my car and hauled ass.
What a great thread I just found it again! So anyway, hopefully this will bring it to the top get it started up again.
My friends and I would always get drunk, walk to a golf course and hit range balls off the tea box at about 2 in the morning. This one particular time I was waaay drunker than usual and was blacked out by the time we got there. I was in an angry drunk mode for some reason, which usually doesn't happen to me. But anyway, they tell I kept drinking while there, tried to happy gilmore several golf balls, talked mad shit about everything to the point where they started to hate me. I then oscillated between trying to fight them and running around like an idiot, at which point I ran around and fell in a water hazard. I then proceeded to sprint around the golf course hiding them and soaking wet until I finally lost them. I guess they decided I was an idiot and they didn't need to locate me because they wandered back to the house, but I woke up the next day soaking wet and freezing cold in the middle of the woods clutching a 3 wood.
walked down to the end of a bowling lane, slipping and falling numerous times during the last frame, knocked down all the pins(laying on my stomach)then getting up and walking all the way back to the front of the lane, slipping and looking up at the manager standing over me who says"r u done now" me replying "no man i just got a strike"! They informed me the police was called and my friends had to pick me up and rush me out the door!!!
Most of my stories are back from my college days... Once, many years ago, when I first started drinking (I was around 20), there was a party going one night and i was waiting for this girl I had a thing for to show up. While I waited, I downed beer after beer. By the time she showed up, I was laying on a bed in that very bad place - waiting to puke. apparently, she jumped on me and tried to stir me by kissing me etc etc (who knows where her hands went - I was D-Runk). Being sick, I eventually said "GET THE F*CK OFF ME!", fortunately she knew I was really drunk and laughed it off. I got to hear the story the next day (before then, she had never show any sort of "affection" for me, so i was pissed to find out i missed out on any "fun"). Lucky for me that wasn't an end point - years later we got married and she still gives me crap for it.
Again in my college years - did a beer mile, cops showed up near the tail end of it. with the evidence literally all over the place, we all scattered and spent about 30 minutes scrambling from house to house - ducking for cover back to dorms. the cops patroled back and forth, waiting to catch any of us. fortunately we were stealth... (haha)
TXrunnergirl - I've too have enjoyed the pure sensation of sprinting home, drunk, without shoes, and making an idiot of myself at 3am. home was about 1 mile and half away, and to this day, my drunken-barefoot race home PR stands just under 9 minutes.
two years ago, a friend of mine and I ran a local 10k road race that started in front of our favorite bar (on st paddys day). we decided to take a few shots right before the gun then head to the starting line and rip it. strangely enough i felt great, until mile 5 when the green shots wanted to come out again. i swallowed it back down and finished 2nd that day.
Was in France to do a race but got bored the night before and went to a bar. It had an advert for a nightclub in the next town.
Was hitching back from the night club. This vw van pulls up and the driver says 'I am zee dj are you coming to another club'
It was a bit of a drive because the other club was in a different country - Belgium!
Spent all next day hitching back and missed the race
Coming from a party near my home I was walking on the road. A car came along and a friend pulled me off the road so I wouldn't get hit by the car. Apparently, I wasn't happy with that. So I knocked him against a garbage container (luckily, he didn't get hurt seriously). Then I just ran away.
At least that is what I was told after the weekend. I woke up next morning and didn't remember anything.