Post-nuptial shutoff?

Headed into the last month of the year. Wonder if any of the letsrunners are still an 0-fer the year.

yup...been a long, long time pour moi

however THREE couples I know (2 married) called it quits this year

scary stuff, so I consider myself somewhat lucky

this is a GREAT THREAD

Mr. Obvious wrote:

Headed into the last month of the year. Wonder if any of the letsrunners are still an 0-fer the year.

Four times in 2010, all in September. I hope she doesn't wonder why I love my xbox.

thank you for all for helping this thread reach the 1000 mark, and I'm glad so many were able to contribute and offer advise

Merry Christmas

Great year for me. Got it probably 75 times. Married more than 20 years.

Your post resonated with me. I've got more or less the same kind of marriage and I would have written more or less the same post as you, EXCEPT: 2-3 times a month would be great! That would be a lot more than I'm getting. How about 2-3 times every three months? That's where she and I are.

When we have sex, it's amazing. We got married late: we've been married six and a half years. I'm 52, she's almost 50. She's cute as hell, sexy, sweet, kind. I hit the jackpot. She gave me a wonderful son, who is almost five.

But: not nearly enough sex, by ANY normal calculation. She's going through menopause. She gets hot flashes. She just doesn't feel like it very often. We love each other, we get along great, there's no intrinsic tension in the relationship. What's not to like? Except the sex is....rare.

I'm a highly sexed guy. I need more. She understands this. She's concerned, too.

I've been faithful to her, if by "faithful" you mean that I haven't been with anybody else. But a guy has needs, and if by "faithful" you mean "never, ever consorts with internet porn," I'm afraid I've flagrantly violated our vows.

This concerns me. I feel as though life has thrown me a huge Zen koan: Find the woman of your dreams, the feeling is mutual, lots of pre-nuptual sex, marry her....and then: pregnancy, the first year of the new baby, and then: menopause. That's a challenge, brother. I've done my best. There is no good solution, except have compassion for all parties involved, including your wife.

A New Year's Solution to PNS, for all those LR men kvetching about post nuptial shut-off, here's something to start the new year off in the right way:

Offer your wife a back massage. Get some oil, make sure she's disrobed (you should at some point as well), and start at the neck and shoulders. Work your way down, be very thorough and as you get further down, use the oil as lube. Even after you enter her, keep massaging her back, butt, whatever with your hands! Every woman loves a relaxing massage and that relaxation will help her be more eager about sex. Try it and see if it works!

Amen and Amen. Gets me EVERY time.

1428 times but the year isn't over yet. Mrs. one or two or is a very happy woman (or an incredible faker - either way I'll take it(.

Bump for 4 years.

Been married for 5 years with 1 kid and one on the way. Sex has definitely taken a hit. Actually the months of trying to get pregnant were awesome as they provided her with some motivation. Almost wish my sperm were bad. BJs are for B-day and anniversary. When we were dating, it was "suck my dick" and she did whenever and wherever. Depressing as hell.

This thread is fascinating. Something that bugs me..and I realize this is probably just the way it is, but so many of these responses are about what the men should do to get the woman interested. Personally, I'm not interested in charity sex. I want the woman I'm with to want me. I don't want to trick her into wanting me, I just want her to want me. It's hard to get too excited when you think she's just doing it for you. I want her to WANT IT just like me. Charity sex is sad.

Want it bad wrote:

Been married for 5 years with 1 kid and one on the way. Sex has definitely taken a hit. Actually the months of trying to get pregnant were awesome as they provided her with some motivation. Almost wish my sperm were bad. BJs are for B-day and anniversary. When we were dating, it was "suck my dick" and she did whenever and wherever. Depressing as hell.

If she wants "autonomy" and the "reproductive choice" of not having sex with you, it's only fair that you have the autonomy and reproductive choice of having sex with other women.

It's unbelievable that some women think they can not have sex with their husbands and still expect them to be faithful.

Updates?

separated wrote:I want the woman I'm with to want me. I don't want to trick her into wanting me, I just want her to want me. It's hard to get too excited when you think she's just doing it for you. I want her to WANT IT just like me. Charity sex is sad.

Part of a woman's psyche is wanting you = wanting to please you. Physiologically, it is highly likely women won't want sex as often as men do, but the point is if she still loves you and wants to show you by indulging your desires. It's not charity if your wife WANTS to make you happy, even if she's not necessarily in the mood.

That was quick.

120 days into 2011 so far. My count is 475x. You do the math.

separated wrote:

This thread is fascinating. Something that bugs me..and I realize this is probably just the way it is, but so many of these responses are about what the men should do to get the woman interested. Personally, I'm not interested in charity sex. I want the woman I'm with to want me. I don't want to trick her into wanting me, I just want her to want me. It's hard to get too excited when you think she's just doing it for you. I want her to WANT IT just like me. Charity sex is sad.

I can't help but feeling the same way. Mrs. Jabbles and I haven't met yet however I hope she wants me as much as I want her. However, maybe with that is also a responsibility to continue running or swimming or something and eating right so that its easier for her to be attracted. Just my .02$

Great thread though.

Just had my weekly bone session last night with the pregnant wife. She's 34 weeks. Now it's time to beat that meat until next week.