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Ess Gee Ess
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 6/30/2010 4:16PM - in reply to another perspective Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

another perspective wrote:

[quote]ya..... wrote:

Holy smokes, did NONE of you save sex for marriage?? It's no wonder you aren't getting any with your now incompatible significant other, you got married/engaged on pretty much no basis other than that the "sex felt good" at the time.. GO FIGURE!! Save it for marriage like I did, 11 years and still going strong. Of course, every marriage has their dry times, but I've never been (overly) upset by it. Stick with marrying someone you can live with WITHOUT having sex with them, and you're in for a ride, quite literally, after the ceremony.


Your theory is flawed. Two of my friends who waited for marriage have wives with zero sex drive. They're the only couples I know of with post-nuptual shutoff. Ever think that a lot of people who wait until marriage can do so because they have low sex drives?[/quote]

This is the theory my wife has. Women talk about sex much more amongst themselves than men do and she gets the feeling that women who don't respond after marriage just never had that feeling beforehand. It makes sense. Although there is a lot more psycho stuff for the woman going on in a given potential relationship, I'd think it's difficult to turn on and off based on a ceremony.
ohm ohm ohm
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/19/2010 9:14PM - in reply to Ess Gee Ess Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
So how's everyone's 2010 been going?

And here's a link for you hard up guys:
http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/
old goat
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/19/2010 9:51PM - in reply to Ess Gee Ess Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Shut off after 2nd child at age 31, divorced at age 45, frequency went up somewhat with various gf's, current gf (6 mons)is 2-5 times a week. I am 51, she is 50, life is pretty f'ing good right now.
dirty qwerty
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/19/2010 10:12PM - in reply to old goat Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
The ‘Doggie’: most used sexual position of married couples. Husband sits up & begs. Wife rolls over & plays dead.
kfuyhdsh
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/23/2010 12:14PM - in reply to dirty qwerty Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

dirty qwerty wrote:

The ‘Doggie’: most used sexual position of married couples. Husband sits up & begs. Wife rolls over & plays dead.


You Democrats are so pathetic, man up and have your way with your wife, she belongs to you.
oh boy oh boy
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/23/2010 12:25PM - in reply to kfuyhdsh Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
married 3 months ago (about 80 days)
sex 6 times since 3days in a row after wedding
jerked it about 17 times since
we didn't have out honeymoon yet though
more to come Im sure.

good luck to all
schedule it
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/23/2010 12:37PM - in reply to oh boy oh boy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
My wife and I have been married for a year and a half. We've lived together for about 3 years. When we first go together, we had sex probably 3 to 5 times a week.

In the year or so before we got married, it was very inconsistent. It was both of our faults, really.

So we decided to schedule it. For over two years now we have been getting it on every Wednesday night. The deal is, at 5:30 we are both naked and in bed with a beer or a glass of wine. It might sound unromantic, but it is extremely enjoyable and relaxing when you are both there for the same thing and you know you're going to have sex.

We have also found that we are more likely to have sex at other times during the week, too.
Another data point
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/23/2010 12:52PM - in reply to schedule it Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Married 24 years

First six years about six times per day

Last 18 years about 3 - 4 times per day

Life is good
ohm ohm ohm
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/23/2010 4:40PM - in reply to oh boy oh boy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

oh boy oh boy wrote:

married 3 months ago (about 80 days)
sex 6 times since 3days in a row after wedding
jerked it about 17 times since
we didn't have out honeymoon yet though
more to come Im sure.

good luck to all


BAIL. Get out while you can. If you divorce her now, you'll get off cheap.

It she won't satisfy your needs now, what do you expect from the future?
Well....
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/23/2010 4:55PM - in reply to oh boy oh boy Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

oh boy oh boy wrote:
married 3 months ago (about 80 days)
sex 6 times since 3days in a row after wedding
jerked it about 17 times since
we didn't have out honeymoon yet though
more to come Im sure.
good luck to all


Married 20+ years.

From time to time the frequency drops off. Instead of complaining to a running board, I bring it up ask her about it. Sometimes it's because she's under stress and just hasn't been in the mood. Sometimes it's because of something I've done, or haven't done. We work it out. Don't expect to be able to read each other's minds, and don't wait for your wife to bring it up. Most importantly, don't let it gnaw at you silently or it will only get worse.

When I got married, I made a promise about good times and bad. "bad" is included in that promise for a reason.
Mr. Obvious
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/26/2010 9:27PM - in reply to Well.... Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
How long has wejo been married now?
not a clue...
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 8/26/2010 9:42PM - in reply to Mr. Obvious Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
and i have not read all the posts, too dang long. as for pre-nuptial shutoff, lets just say... it doesn't just apply to men--just saying.
KT Perry #1
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 3:54PM - in reply to not a clue... Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
So I don't have time to read all of this but have a question....

I have an amazing wife and we have an amazing marriage, but what in the hell do you do when she doesn't want to have sex except for maybe 2-3 times a month? We don't argue about this or anything. I make my usual attempts but do not pressure or try to persuade her if I get "The Heisman." I treat her as best as I can, and the sex we do have is amazing to say the least and she thoroughly enjoys it. Yes, women can be good at faking it, but I can obviously tell she enjoys it without having to go into much detail. So what do I do. I know "getting married was your first mistake" blah blah blah. But seriously, I KNOW marriage is not all about sex. I KNOW this. But when a man has his desires and he has to hold back so much from the one he loves unconditionally, what do you do?!?!?!?!?!!? Our marriage is perfect besides the lack of sex. Go ahead with the funny comments, I enjoy a good laugh, but would also enjoy some REAL insight.
stuck with match.com
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 4:32PM - in reply to KT Perry #1 Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Next time you have sex, make it all about her. I'm not joking either, make sure she gets off like at least 3 or 4 times, i mean like orally. then go ahead and do your thing. tease her too.
Honestly wishing you luck
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 6:00PM - in reply to KT Perry #1 Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Start by reading "The Art of Loving" (Fromm)

Ask your wife to read it with you.

Let me know how it goes.
theplaintruth
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff? 9/25/2010 6:36PM - in reply to 17 years now Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

17 years now wrote:

Welcome to the misery of marriage - we didn't warn you ahead of time, because we like the company.

If you don't have kids and she's already shutting you off, you are in for a long, lonely haul - usually happens after the 2nd kid - women just don't have the need like we do.



They have the need alright. They just get bored with the hubby and start looking elsewhere. They would rather go without than face the same ol' same ol' time after time.
not a clue...
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 7:21PM - in reply to KT Perry #1 Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Oops, I obviously didn't mean to say "Pre" but in instead "Post"

Anyhow, to KTPerry#1--its all about communication, you can't expect to drop the ball (okay, just realized a pun could be used..lol) when she's tired or stressed or when YOU decide you want it. Do you go out on dates? just the two of you? Watch videos together to spice it up? talk to her first to see what her mood is and provide emotional support, listen to her, act interested in what she is saying and once you establish that then she will more than likely will be in the mood. When you have kids, its really hard to want it ALL the time--besides don't you "take care" of yourself during those times when you need it? that should at least get you through until she wants it. Heck, be happy you get it 2-3 times a month (at least its almost once a week) especially if you've been married a while.
Get Real Real
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 7:24PM - in reply to kfuyhdsh Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

kfuyhdsh wrote:

[quote]dirty qwerty wrote:

The ‘Doggie’: most used sexual position of married couples. Husband sits up & begs. Wife rolls over & plays dead.


You Democrats are so pathetic, man up and have your way with your wife, she belongs to you.[/quote]



You can rest assured Republicans are more repressed by far than Democrats.

Except the Catholic girls gone wild.

--Proud to be an independent.
f-1
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 8:17PM - in reply to stuck with match.com Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

stuck with match.com wrote:

Next time you have sex, make it all about her. I'm not joking either, make sure she gets off like at least 3 or 4 times, i mean like orally. then go ahead and do your thing. tease her too.


Ignore this clown. Your mistake was not failing to be sufficiently considerate of your needs, but failing to show that you were a desirable man with high expectations, a man who expected her to meet his needs. You are not too selfish to have a good sex life, you are not selfish enough. You compromise on your needs without a fight, thereby showing her that she can take you for granted and need not put any effort into keeping you around.
1000
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff 9/25/2010 8:18PM - in reply to f-1 Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
1 thousand messages now!
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