People who post on letsrun don't have sex.
Teg doesn't run 10Ks.
Wake up people.
People who post on letsrun don't have sex.
Teg doesn't run 10Ks.
Wake up people.
Is it safe to assume, if my wife who once had a voracious sexual appetite but now doesn't seem to care, is just masturbating more? I read a short story about a woman who discovered a vibrator in midlife and concluded no man alive can compete with a vibrator in the hands of someone who knows their body well, and that a husband/BF just becomes a source of companionship and security. So if she isnt' depressed/sufferring from body image problems/totally exhausted etc I must assume sexual desire is still there but perhaps being relieved in some other manner? I haven't ever seen a vibrator or other sex toy in our house but then again I dont' go snooping nor would I ever ask.
that depends. when your wife has a voracious sexual appetite, was she initiating the sex, were you, or was it pretty even?
women want to have sex but can live for a long time without feeling deprived if everything else in the relationship is going fine. i could be wrong here but it's not a physical release like it is for guys so it may be soemthing other than a vibrator.
i suspect my husband thinks i've lost my appetite. i used to initiate all the time since i knew it he was kind of shy. i figured that after a while he would loosen up and start reciprocating but he didn't so now we don't have sex. it doesn't turn me on to initiate it anymore. i bring it up and it always comes back to something that's my problem.
the reality of it is that women want to be wanted. if guys don't let us know we are desirable or that something about us makes them want to have sex with us then sex isn't going to happen very often - hence the shutoff.
Ok, thx for the reply. Yes it was always here initiating, pretty much hundred per cent. I have initiated some but when I do its not the same as before--kinda like she allows it to happen, does the things I like but doesnt try to get off herself. Its only when she initiates that she gets off and that happens at most once or twice a month. there is an element of fatigue at play with young kids but back before we had kids that was present at well, just that it was fatigue from staying up late, working out more, she worked etc etc so not like she was super rested back then either
(my answer here> wrote:
there is an element of fatigue at play with young kids but back before we had kids that was present at well, just that it was fatigue from staying up late, working out more, she worked etc etc so not like she was super rested back then either
I have not read every post on this thread, so the fatigue issue may have been touched on previously, but I've found that I (a female who works, raises kids, etc.) have a much better experience with sex if I can get a couple of hours of sleep in the evening before we go at it. My husband works late hours, so if I can crash by around 9:00 p.m. after last kid is in bed, and sleep for 2-3 hours, I'm very receptive to a tap on the shoulder around midnight for some fun when my husband gets home. Then I can happily slip back into dreamland for another 5-6 hour snooze before I have to get up for work. I also love coming out of a dreamy sleep state in the middle of the night to the kisses and caresses.
Just a suggestion for tired moms.
Still Married and Happy wrote:
No one has the secret formula for a happy marriage. It's as complex as human nature itself. I've been married for almost twenty years and consider myself happy and very much in love with my wife. She's a person of tremendous character and I can't imagine being without her. But marriage is never something we figure out and then place on cruise control for 40 years. There is a constant learning curve and many ups and downs. Two people are growing together, navigating the endless challenges of life. That can be very demanding.
I don't believe every marriage can work. Some are just bad fits. To some extent, a bit of luck is involved in getting the right spouse. But I do believe divorce is too easy an option in today's world. Marriage in some sense is treated too superficially, and kids from divorced families grow up to see divorce as a very viable option to them when the going gets tough because it was rationalized to them from a young age.
Regarding sex, of course it's important in a marriage. A healthy marriage involves physical intimacy. It will never be as frequent ten or twenty years down the road as it was in the first year, but that doesn't necessarily point to a problem. For the young guys out there who are already cynical about marriage, remember a few things. First of all, if you're 25 and single and playing the field with some success you're viewed as a stud. If you're 35 and doing the same thing you may be envied by some unhappily married men, but more and more people (especially women) are starting to view you with caution - you are a commitment phobe, you're shallow, etc... If you're 45 and still playing the field you're usually viewed as either a loser or a creepy, egotistical cad. If you happen to be rich, you can surely attract younger, shallow women to be with you for a while, but it won't be love you'll be getting.
[b/]All it takes to get laid is being male. It takes a man to love.
conclusion: poster has a small penis i.e penis envy
Peace.
Bay Stater wrote:
It does wear off after a while.
I still look and appreciate beauty when I see it, after all I'm not dead, but at my age (52) it's not likely to happen much anymore, and to be honest I don't regret NOT marrying as I have witnessed so much misery and unhappiness with people who did walk down the aisle...along with some truly shocking stories of spouses who just took off (men AND women). I dated 3 women in a row who wanted to be single parents BY CHOICE, then dated 2-3 in a row who had quiet substance abuse issues. Ouch.
What stuns me is how beautiful the current generation of 20-30 something women are.????WTF
Sorry mate but tats on a woman's breast, ass, you name it is NOT beautiful
When I was that age the situation was not the same. I will not apologize for that, as I had one ex-sister-in-law comment on the lack of cute girls in my HS graduation class, corroborating my experience. It was the same in college, too. I just wasn't inspired enough to bother, plus I worked nights and off-shift for years.
Or perhaps I was unlucky, or maybe...LUCKY?
I do know people who are happily married, or at least give the appearance of same, to be honest.
Life is funny.
I wasn't talking about tatoos, MATE.
Good on ya.
Some advice to those who are frustrated.
If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
wporu309 wrote:
If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
along the same lines....anything done together in a relationship is probably going to be good. If the woman is using a vibrator you should express to her that using sexual aids together can be a very rewarding experience.
No, just because she is shutting you off doesn't mean she is using the vibe. Many women can just go without. Their sex drive can change suddenly for seemingly no reason.
wporu309 wrote:
If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
I respect her rights to privacy as she does mine. I do not believe the GREATER ASPECTS of marital health (not talking so much about the sexual aspects) are enhanced by having EVERYTHING OUT THERE. I know some couples who know what each others bowel habits and masturbation methods are and I dont' see these being more well adjusted than the two of us.
She's never asked me how often I'm doing it alone or if I do at all, so you propose I just walk up one day and blurt out the question to her?
Valentine's Day is about a month off, LETSRUN Posters. Plan your day with the one(s) you love.
If you are not happy with your sex life, then yes, having a frank talk with her about it could definitely help. If the other aspects of your marital health are in such great shape that it is more than compensation for the low amount of sex then don't bother. Don't have to go blurting out that question right off the bat but it will come up eventually if the two of you are wanting to work towards a healthier sex life.
wrote:
wporu309 wrote:If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
I respect her rights to privacy as she does mine. I do not believe the GREATER ASPECTS of marital health (not talking so much about the sexual aspects) are enhanced by having EVERYTHING OUT THERE. I know some couples who know what each others bowel habits and masturbation methods are and I dont' see these being more well adjusted than the two of us.
She's never asked me how often I'm doing it alone or if I do at all, so you propose I just walk up one day and blurt out the question to her?
Dear "a chick",
Why do men think they are entitled to sex? It's simple, sex is part of the marriage contract. If your partner refuses to have sex, it's grounds for divorce.
Yep, that's the real kicker of the entire situation: You get married and take a vow not to cheat on your wife. She controls the amount of sex you are going to get. If you're not getting enough, what are your options?
(1) Be miserable.
(2) Find it elsewhere and risk ruining your current marriage.
I have kids and I truly love my wife. But the whole lack of sex thing is killing me. I've thought a lot lately about trying to set up something on the side, but at the same time I don't want to be selfish and take a chance on ruining what I've got at home. Some days I feel like I'd jump at the chance to hook up with someone, others I feel like I need to grow up and get myself under control.
I've talked this through with my wife, to a certain extent anyway. We had a very long, civil conversation about it and she truly understands it from my point of view. However, nothing changed. Her solution? If you're not happy, go ahead and start nailing someone on the side. The thing is, I know she is saying that and feels like she means it, but I also know that if I did she would not feel the same way.
jeezus, what are you 80 years old? Do you sleep in seperate beds a la i love lucy on tv?you won't ask your wife about a vibrator?Wow, loosen up bud. Maybe, just maybe you might be able to enjoy the vibrator together and it may lead to other things.
wrote:
wporu309 wrote:If you don't feel comfortable or close enough with your wife to ask her about her use of a vibrator then maybe that's most of your problem.
I respect her rights to privacy as she does mine. I do not believe the GREATER ASPECTS of marital health (not talking so much about the sexual aspects) are enhanced by having EVERYTHING OUT THERE. I know some couples who know what each others bowel habits and masturbation methods are and I dont' see these being more well adjusted than the two of us.
She's never asked me how often I'm doing it alone or if I do at all, so you propose I just walk up one day and blurt out the question to her?
Becareful of a Wife that actually encourages you to bang other women. My now ex-wife tried to encourage me to bone one of her friends. I didn't. It turns out my now ex-wife had someone on the side and was trying to either get over her guilt or make me the bad guy/cheater to justify a divorce. Be real careful of her motives. There are no better liars then women.
LIfe's short....Hire a Hooker!
Am I living in the twilight zone? The Boston Marathon weather was terrible!
Des Linden: "The entire sport" has changed since she first started running Boston.
Matt Choi was drinking beer halfway through the Boston Marathon
Ryan Eiler, 3rd American man at Boston, almost out of nowhere
2024 College Track & Field Open Coaching Positions Discussion