God what a nightmare post...
My 15 year relationship (12 year marriage) ended this year. It still kills me...
We were and still are good friends... but for 12+ of the 15 years we had sex once every 4-6 weeks.
I wasn't perfect, but I worked like a dog to provide a nice living for the family... came home and either did dishes or helped kids with homework. Stayed in shape. Funny, caring, polite... I was raised to be a good guy.
She just wasn't into it. I made sure she always had O, but then had to take care of myself because she was so not into it.
One day she announced with no discussion: "I'm just not into oral sex so I'm not going to do that anymore." We were divorced 21 months later.
I still miss her...