Post-nuptial shutoff?

Ok I am convinced it is just low sex drive, and that it is possible for men to suffer from a low sex drive, despite nobody's willingness to believe it.

We do not have a home computer. I use my work laptop at home and he rarely uses it. He has a BBerry but I doubt he's watching porn on that.

It's not depression. There have been no personality changes that would otherwise suggest that. He appears to be his normal, fun loving and friendly self.

He is not gay or having an affair. If he was I don't know why he would stay with me (no kids, no money worries etc.)and I just think I would know if he was having an affair, gay or otherwise.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Ok I am convinced it is just low sex drive, and that it is possible for men to suffer from a low sex drive, despite nobody's willingness to believe it.

Sure it's possible but it would be unusual enough to look into...at the very least medically.

As I said previously this is an indication that something is not quite right. If it were no big deal you wouldn't have mentioned it. So, since it is, I'd look into it.

Yep - it's definitely unusual. I'm going to ask him to try the testosterone test. I think it's pretty much my last hope.

this is a shot in the way dark but does he take propecia?that has been known to lower sex drive as well

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Yep - it's definitely unusual. I'm going to ask him to try the testosterone test. I think it's pretty much my last hope.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Ok I am convinced it is just low sex drive, and that it is possible for men to suffer from a low sex drive, despite nobody's willingness to believe it.

We do not have a home computer. I use my work laptop at home and he rarely uses it. He has a BBerry but I doubt he's watching porn on that.

It's not depression. There have been no personality changes that would otherwise suggest that. He appears to be his normal, fun loving and friendly self.

He is not gay or having an affair. If he was I don't know why he would stay with me (no kids, no money worries etc.)and I just think I would know if he was having an affair, gay or otherwise.

Was the sex ever that frequent, even in the beginning? I doubt it. If it is physical has he been to a urologist? It is not an affair, but he may be gay (are you a mind reader?). Many married men have divorced, "came out" and the wife had no idea. Also, he would very likely stay with you even if he was gay (maybe he is trying to supress it/fight the inner demons). He may not be having gay affairs, but he also is not physically attracted to you. Not all gay men are flaming (or obvious), are they? Most posters on here would say he is gay - that is the logical explanation. Sorry to have to break it to you. Ask him straight out; tell him you need to know, and that you will keep it secret. He owes you an honest answer.

LOL - no. He has a lovely full head of hair, and he's not on any meds. He exercises regularly, doesn't smoke, do drugs or drink a lot of alcohol (couple of beers on w/end, glass of wine mid-week). Thanks for all the suggestions though.

this is an excellent response and one that deserves repeating, nothing pissed me off more than sherunner's response that a wife helping out her husband may have set the feminist movement backwtf... I am a guy and I consider myself a huge feminist, my wife knows how much I think of her as a person, and from time to time i'm sure she hasn't been in the mood as much as me but has helped me out. i'd like to think i would to the samethis guy said it very wellit's called being in an adult, sharing, trusting relationshipgo back and learn what it means to be a feminist

Right, you're all such feminists. Funny how when it's a woman her husband is gay or having an affair. But when it's your wives they're just selfish.

why do so many people have premarital sex?

would you buy a car without a test drive?

I've met exactly one guy in my life who had little or no sex drive, freshman year of college. For awhile I thought he was gay because he didn't show any interest in women.

So one day I just flat out asked him if he was gay. He said no. I said that he didn't seem to be trying to get laid, and he said he never really thought about it. I figured he was putting me on, so I asked him how many times a day he got wood. He said he'd only had a boner a few times in his life. He didn't think sex was gross, but it just wasn't for him, just like alcohol isn't for some people. He'd never whacked off because he never had any reason to.

He was, however, very curious why every other 18-year-old seemed to be so into it. I had to explain that it is just natural, you just have to blow a load after awhile. The best analogy I could think of at the time was taking a dump. You can hold off taking a dump for several hours, maybe a day if you have strong willpower, and maybe two if you are superhuman. But you won't go any longer than that before it comes out involuntarily. I told him the same was true for 18-year-old sex drives. I didn't know anyone who could go longer than 2-3 days before having to relieve the pressure one way or another. It was news to him that guys (and girls to a lesser extent) could only go so long before they had to have an orgasm.

The dude's name was David, on the off chance that you married this guy.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

LOL - no. He has a lovely full head of hair, and he's not on any meds. He exercises regularly, doesn't smoke, do drugs or drink a lot of alcohol (couple of beers on w/end, glass of wine mid-week). Thanks for all the suggestions though.

Have you checked to see if he has a pulse??

Or someone who heard it on the Cartoon Network, had never heard it before, and thought they would appear well read if they used it in conversation/message board posting. It's superfluous (I don't watch the Cartoon Network)

need data wrote:

Someone who reads, rather than watches the Cartoon Network.

Wrong. Try again.

Pass the Kleenex wrote:

would you buy a car without a test drive?

yes.

how often do you find lemons nowadays?

OMG - that was so funny thanks. Maybe I'm really a guy and he is really a girl.

His name isn't David... nice try though. I'm sure if I ever remarry it will be to your friend, David

most guys at Duke are gay, and you are exhibit A.

were you waitlisted?

or rejected outright?

I agree with some of the posters. He might have been molested when he was a kid or he has some kind of odd kink he is ashamed of. Maybe he likes handcuffs, hot wax, finger-up-the-butt, off-the-wall BDSM shit. He might think you are a nice girl who he would be embarrassed to reveal this to. Maybe he is deathly afraid of freaking you out with something.

You can always wrestle him down to the bed and have your way with him. He might like it rough.