Post-nuptial shutoff?

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

This thread is so depressing:

If your a guy it's normal so if you love your wife get used to it, otherwise move on fall in love with someone else who will grow tired of you in a few yews anyway.

If your a girl you are married to a homosexual or he's having an affair.

I need to go for a long run!

If you're a guy there's the additional option of moving to Thailand and hooking up with a diseased whore.

"If you're a guy there's the additional option of moving to Thailand and hooking up with a diseased whore."

You forgot, "with the body of 10 year old".

Vern Troyer wrote:

"If you're a guy there's the additional option of moving to Thailand and hooking up with a diseased whore."

You forgot, "with the body of 10 year old".

No, it should be a 10 year old that looks like a 19 year old....

I think he is straight but hiding some sort of fetish, BDSM or something off-color/kinky that he is ashamed of.

We don't have, and aren't having, any kids, so this issue didn't come up for us. Obviously I'd have to cut her some slack if she were/had been pregnant. I have seen plenty of women come back from pregnancy looking great, even after 3 kids. So pregnancy wouldn't be a permanent excuse for weight gain. The other effects of pregnancy, such as perhaps a few stretch marks or something here or there are not the sort of thing I'd hold against a woman after childbirth. That happens. My objection is to people who let themselves go out of laziness.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

sexlessruningchica needs to email

and see if we can work on changing that screen name.

sexlessrunningchica wrote: I really don't think that's possible - we are together all the time when not at work

---- wrote: Maybe that's the problem. You're together way too much.

This really could be a big part of the problem. It was part of what did in my ten year relationship. See "individuation".

Aside from the possibility of low testosterone levels, how about chronic depression? Somehow for me that fits with his air of resignation about the whole thing, as you describe it.

Has this guy ever in his life had a more intense sexual connection with anyone?

Or maybe he's just not as into you as he says, and perhaps believes.

well he's obviously not into me sexually, but there's no reason for him to stick around. We are both young, have no kids and no real responsibilities. Love and companionship mean a lot, I guess to many they mean more than sex.

I would but you are probably about 15.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

I would but you are probably about 15.

I doubt you really, would, anyway. You love the guy you're with.

The testosterone idea is a good one. The depression idea is a good one. The sexual orientation idea is less thrilling as a possible cause of this problem.

In any case, I think you ought to check into the testosterone and depression ideas. But after that ... how long are you going to stick around in a sexless relationship? It sounds like this guy would be a great friend. You could probably do better for a life partner. Bummer.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

This thread is so depressing:

If your a guy it's normal so if you love your wife get used to it, otherwise move on fall in love with someone else who will grow tired of you in a few yews anyway.

If your a girl you are married to a homosexual or he's having an affair.

I need to go for a long run!

I think there are two reasons so many people are replying to your situation.

1: They're mostly guys who want more sex than they are getting, so they've got sex on the mind and the idea of a woman not getting enough is somewhat mind boggling as well as a bit of a turn on for some.

2: They see your issue as having a more realistic chance for an improvement than their own, so they want to chime in with their ideas.

We should start a petition for guys that want to help out.

Definitely Interested wrote:

We should start a petition for guys that want to help out.

I was so proud that none of us had made that cheesy offer... until now.

This thread has turned out to be 'way more than I expected and has gone down some trails I never conceived it would.

Apparently my question made "thread of the day" which I suppose is noteworthy.

Having read all the responses I can only come up with one conclusion: if you're really in love and happy with someone, consider yourself Blessed Beyond Belief.

Ironic that all these comments and observations are being made a fortnight before Valentine's Day.

Thanks again, all.

need data wrote:

Ironic that all these comments and observations are being made a fortnight before Valentine's Day.

Thanks again, all.

Fortnight?? Are you British? Who the hell says fortnight but a Brit.

Someone who reads, rather than watches the Cartoon Network.

Like with the Flanagan thread, this is another blatant example of a male/female double-standard. The thread is full of dozens of males who don't get enough sex and the consensus if sort of, "well, that's life, male vs. female biology and all." So some woman comes on and says the dude doesn't give her enough and that's cause for therapy apparently and everybody shows such great concern and wants to know if the dude is gay - did a single person ask if the barren wives are gay? What would wives reactions be if the dude suggested therapy? Not pretty. I say, lady, welcome to 90% of husbands lives - BUCK UP. That's all we got; that and our well-worn palm.

i actually don't agree with this at all...a guy asking his wife for more open communication and talking about their issues and the wife saying - no way in hellcome on, yes it is a stereo type but what planet have you been living on

Osama Jurena wrote:

What would wives reactions be if the dude suggested therapy? Not pretty.

need data wrote:

Someone who reads, rather than watches the Cartoon Network.

How do you read the Cartoon Network?