"Top" Colorado Runner....

This thread is a classic.

ok, but remember, as the auction says, I will only run the amount of races that the auction end price covers. So at the end of the auction if the value is under 20 dollars I will not be running any races, but I will not make you pay either.

thanks,

Ben p.s. I will send pictures.

Hey either way man, thanks for the most entertaining thread since the guy who's wife wanted him to go on Maury. You asked earlier if it was at least a little funny. Yes, indeed it was. Is there anyone out there who'd be willing to bid $20 to make this guy wear a tarp with a hole cut out of the middle for his head, a helmet with a dildoe strapped upright to it, and galoshes to race in? I'm definitely going to shake your hand if I ever do run into you at a road race.

The fact that I am responding to this only probably only feeds your ego, and congrats on getting on the front page of letsrun.com, but you have gone from annoying and dumb to one of the biggest douche bags I have EVER heard of.

You go from bragging about your fantastic performances to wanting a sponsorship based on the fact that you get attention on this website. Why don't you sell ad space on your vehical or perhaps you are entertaining offers to name your first child after the highest bidder. Anything to get some attention.

The fact that you consume are air is highly disturbing...

relax dude, if you don't like this guy's auction site or this thread, no one is making you read it. it is easy to stay off of it.

hI, mi name is Jeffrey Spegalman and I think you shud gib me muney for runing becuz I beet Benjamin Hershelman all the tyme. i meen I kiked his ass in the “westwoulds elementry run with the wolves” and at the “evergreeen towne race”. dis link is a pickture of me wining the “westminster high school run with the warriors 5K”, Ben only got 3 place. i want 12 million dolars for my sponsirship becuz i can kik Bens ass. DDrrrrrrrrrrrr

ben trid to coach me butt I told him to bit me becuz I am faster than him…loser. and peple say im retarded, at leest I can spell bettr than Ben. if u gib me muney I will runn really rilly faste and make ben cry. I wil allso wear a shurt wif u’re companies pikture on it DDrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I think you are totally missing the point in Silky's response, he was not saying that one should not be proud of one's personal achievements. He's saying that YOUR PRs mean absolutely nothing to anyone else, and they shouldn't-they are yours and you are not a professional athlete. There are a handful of talented people in the world, the rest of us just try to keep up. That doesn't mean that we can't try to earn some support for what we do.

Most of you are missing the point. Who the hell made you all better than anyone else on this site? Who cares if this kid wants support for his endeavors?? You all remind me of the bullies in HS - you are so self-absorbed and self-conscious that you try to make your sad achievments seem bigger than they are by cutting someone else down. IMO it is you that is the loser.

I wish you luck, too, kid!

You really don't get it, do you? I really hope the irony inherent in your post is not lost on you.

You claim that there is nothing wrong with being proud of one's personal acheivements. As evidence for this claim, you allude to the fact that performance -- and achievement -- is relative. Sure you'll never be world class, never be elite, but you're achievements do surpass the great majority of the population, so who am I to tell you not to take pride in those acheivements??

Well, let me ask you this? Why do you get a sense of satifaction, but this kid gets beratement? Why do you get to feel proud, whereas this kid gets to read a never-ending string of unprovoked insults? Why do you get a pat on the back for your 16-minute 5K, yet he gets to read some idiot poster offering to "kick him in the face."

That, my friend, is my point. You can't have it both ways. Don't give me your bulls*** about "I wouln't take away someones right to consider themselves a good runner." There's 6 PAGES dedicated to pathetic individuals doing just that. If you think performance and achievement is relative; if you think pride in effort and growth is all we average runners have; then why is this kid the subject of such derision?

My post was meant to be ironic. It was meant to show you people that you have two options, you can either

1)recognize yourselves as inferior to the truly elite, and accept that in the grand scheme of things, you're no better than this kid; or

2) appreciate that you are better than most of the planet, and while you're at it, accept that this kid -- as much as you hate to admit it -- is as well.

Either way, none of you are in any position to judge his choices or question his motivation simply because he doesn't measure up to your nonsensically-determined criteria as deserving.

^^^

Whether he is better that the average runner or not (he is) is irrelevent. The fact that he misrepresents himself while seeking sponsorship $$$ by calling himslef a "top runner" who will be seen by "thousands" is worthy of some derision.

Ben, ignore the losers who are just trying to be funny. Have you tried going to companies you may be interested directly? I know that Pearl Izumi, PowerBar, Rudy Project and I think Smartwool all have grass root sponsorships that they offer if you are what they're looking for. It's more about getting free product but it's better than nothing. Good luck.

"Nobody cares about your 16:28 PR"

---------------------------------------------------------

...or your 15:28 PR or your 14:28 PR. Hell you could have a

13:28 PR and the folks at the water cooler monday morning are still gonna be more impressed with Nancy in accounting who shed 80 pounds and Gallowalked a 5:30 at her first and only marathon.

If you run, then your alright with me. Posts that ridicule the slow are what is wrong here. The key issue for a large majority of runners is not to take down a record, or make it to the Olympics, it is self-improvement. I worked at a local sports store while running for a small D1 school. Many customers that where active on the local scene would come in to buy running shoes and we would discuss times and runners we knew. In every case they were impressed with my times and would ask about training. In my mind and most others (definitely everyone on letsrun) i was a medicore college runner at best. Now i have long graduated and training consists of 3 miles twice a week at best. I just try to get in runs for self-improvement. To excerise the body and lungs. While alot of people on here are on a strict diet regime and train religiously and methodically. The bulk of runners in America do not. They don't have the body to hold up to 100 mpw or 48 quarter speed. But, you sub 16-17 minute 5kr's should be happy these people are out there. They allow for races to take place, for stores to be shelved with running gear, and for the amount of different choices in running shoes. Ben is just trying to earn a buck while doing something he loves and aspires to progress in. Like a mobile billboard with goals. Good luck Ben with this and don't let the ney-sayers bring you down. As long you run, then your alright with me.

Mr. Whateveryournameis, I have a few questions regarding your eBay auction before I can further consider a sponsorship. Please provide answers in order as they appear here:

According to your eBay advertisement: "The sponsorship lasts only for one year if the amount of money bid at the end of the auction is equal to the amount it costs to put me in races for the whole year"

Given this kernel of truth and wisdom, would you consider wearing an advertisement for part of a race? For example, given that it costs $20 enter a 10k race and you can drop 40 minutes "like a looter in riot," my math works out this way: There is 2400 seconds of race time. Divide that by 2000 cents for your entry fee and you get 1.2 seconds of sponsorship for ever penny spent. So 126 cents (the current high bid) would purchase 151.2 seconds, or 2 minutes 31.2 seconds of sponsorship.

Given this information, would you consider wearing an advertisement for that period of time? Or since you always spank the competition in your age group, would you wear an advertisement for the few moments it takes for you to get your award and then return to anonymity where you belong?

Also, if I do choose to sponsor you, what form of protection do I receive? For example, if I am paying you money on your promise that you finish well in your age category and you have a bad race (it happens to the best of us) and fail to finish in the awards and therefore fail to provide exposure to thousands of people, do I get a portion of my investment back? And what about a morality clause? If you actually turn out to be a registered sex offender in Rhode Island, that would bring my organization negative press which we are not actively seeking at the present time. Would I receive my sponsorship dollars back?

One final thing. Although you have already decided that a dildo is not appropriate for racewear, I have a few other uniform questions. Would you consider carrying weights with you, therefore slowing your blistering pace and giving potential clients in our key demographics more time to read my ad? I hate it when those NASCAR guys drive so fast and make it hard to read the ads (this was the subject of a commercial recently I believe). What size of sign and how many pounds are you willing to pull for the duration of a race? Four hundred pounds looks like something you could easily handle, is this accurate?

That is all.

No one is criticizing him for being an average runner with poor times. Some people are acting like this is an attack on an innocent recreational runner. Everyone is criticizing him from trying to get anything other than his own satisfaction out of those poor times.

Unapologetic wrote:

Everyone is criticizing him from trying to get anything other than his own satisfaction out of those poor times.

People in the United States are allowed to try to get as much as they can from their efforts as long as its legal. I think some people are JEALOUS that they did not think of a similiar idea themselves.

"since there is some confusion, allow me to clarify something: If the winning bid for this auction is less than the cost of a race entry fee, I will not allow the auction to end. The sponsorship lasts only for one year if the amount of money bid at the end of the auction is equal to the amount it costs to put me in races for the whole year. Basically, if the winning bid is 5 dollars I will be running no races and I will not require you to pay. Also: the uniform that you are responsible for supplying me with has to be appropriate, i am not going to run a race with a phallus hat or naked. All other creative ideas are welcomed"

HAHAHAHAHA

I literally laughed out loud when i read this. My eyes are actually tearing.

So come on guys, who wants to pay 20 dollars to make this kid wear something completely ridiculous? S***, i would do it if i lived in the area. He's not going to run with a phallus hat or naked, but ALL OTHER CREATIVE IDEAS ARE WELCOMED!!!

COME ON LETSRUN, TIME TO GET CREATIVE!!

[sic]

So this homo went for $20...thats real close to the $1000 plus this f***ing jackass wanted originally. See why you got ripped to shreds you piece of s***. I hope whomever decided to waste $20 on your worthless ass makes you do something highly degrading. If you would disappear forever the world would be a much better place.

Wow,

Apparently I have pissed you off beyond all comprehension and my mere existence as a human being offends you personally. I am sorry that my existance is so stressful for you, this must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. I hope that you feel better writing out a insult ridden profanity laced message. Your post, frankly made me laugh,I would compare your post to a fat third grader beating the crap out of a kindergardner (since you are so much better than I am. By the way, if you do not like this board, dont read it.

until then,

Ben