She was once a runner

agip wrote:

the idea that some women develop eating disorders to get attention is the most disturbing thing I have heard in a while.

who are these people and how do they become mothers?

this is something that happens subconsciously. Women don't deliberately get eating disorders for attention, and not all eating disorders are caused by a subconscious need for attention.

My daughter is 14 and trains about 20 to 25 hours a week to be an athlete. She has been doing this since she was 9, loves sports and training. We discuss eating and nutrition probably daily. She is one of the top ranked runners in the country and refuses to look like some of the better ranked runners. Some girls may look like rails because of genetics or because of diet, we are not sure. She only knows that she doesn't want to look sick. Five foot 2 and 112, able to lift more weight than anyone we know anywhere close to her size. When people see her run they comment on how strong she looks and not how thin she is. That makes her proud.

Your daughter is lucky to have a parent like you and you are lucky to have a daughter like her. A good example of someone like this is Jordan Hasay. She has had (and continues to have) long-term success because she has stayed healthy physically and mentally.

Exactly why I try to protect her and help her learn the right reasons to train. I want her to train for life not a scholarship. My opinion is that scholarship offers are for rewarding hard work in your development. When someone posts stuff about girls not deserving scholarships it really makes me realize how sad some of these people are. If you add up the hours my daughter will train before she goes to college she would totally deserve a scholarship. She will accept the one that helps her become the best person she can be and if I had to, I would be glad to pay for her school because I already know what a great kid she is and how hard she works. That is about all the sports we watch is female, and I do have a son. To me when women train and rise to the top of their sport it deserves more respect then men. When boys reach puberty they put on muscle, girls put on fat. It is really hard work to continue to get better as an athlete fighting this natural occurrence.

"A fat, bearded kid was standing in the living room funneling a beer while his friends egged him on. I walked over and watched him finish. Everyone cheered for him like he was some great champion.

What did they know about winning?"

Probably more than you. BOOM, roasted.

The blog is pretty good though, rings true with what I remember from the womens team at my school. The coach being a dick was true as well. Those coaches are awesome on recruiting trips (all charm, very nice) and they only let you talk to the guys and girls who like them. Then you go there and it's a 180 until you are the stud.

female college runner wrote:

Sorry for interrupting the wonderful sexist banter, but to get slightly back on topic... Does anyone have any idea what program this story, if not too heavily fictionalized, could be referring to?

That would be interesting to know.

I was wondering if it was Washington.

I was wondering which program it was too. If it is at least somewhat true it would be possible to figure out.

The coach referred to the girls as 40,000 dollars and 25,000 dollars at one point, so I'm thinking that it's probably a private school, especially because she expresses her distaste for the rich kids at the school.

They went to pre-nats, but she said they decided to go that year so probably not a school that goes every single year.

They're mens team probably isn't fully funded but apparently their womens is.

They have a male head coach and a female assistant who used to be a good runner.

The school flew to the pre-nats meet, so the school is probably not in the midwest.

The author doesn't want you to know the school, or she would have stated it. Why go against her wishes, do you want her to stop posting?

Every school costs $40k (out of state tuition). It wasn't necessarily recent. Pre-nats changes venues. Every good school has spoiled rich kids.

Don't be a jerk. And learn the difference between their and they're.

Okay yeah the they're their mistake was pretty blatant I'll give you that. Can't believe I did that.

Anyways though I didn't say anything definitively about the type of school I was just saying that I thought the odds were that it was a private school. Could very well be a state school too, as you said, I just think that it's less likely.

Besides, I don't think that I'm being a jerk. She posted the blog on the internet where every person on the planet with access to the internet can read it, including her teammates, coaches, and parents. I'm sure that anyone affiliated with that program could very easily pick out themselves/the author/the school in the writing. Also, I didn't speculate about the school or the runner, I merely made some observations which any other person could have just as easily made. Furthermore, it is entirely possible that the blog has fictional elements, so it would be impossible to find the program.

That being said, do I want her to stop posting? Actually, no. I thought her blog was well written and quite interesting, if frightening at times. And besides, someone posted the link to her blog on Letsrun, where they know everybody will speculate about the program/runner, so I don't think that I've done anything wrong.

And again, Jesus I can't believe that I wrote they're instead of their.

my guess is BC

J.R. wrote:

female college runner wrote:

Sorry for interrupting the wonderful sexist banter, but to get slightly back on topic... Does anyone have any idea what program this story, if not too heavily fictionalized, could be referring to?

That would be interesting to know.

I was wondering if it was Washington.

Way too much of a soap opera, but I'll admit that it is addicting to read. Train wrecks all over the place!

I agree she is probably changing quite a bit of the story, for the specific reason of not identifying the program.

For example, the coach could be a woman, the meet could be an invitational, not pre-nats, etc. The names must certainly be completely different.

I was just curious, and don't need to know which school that it is.

She also mentioned that pre-nats were held at a golf course in an area with warmer weather than her college's town, and cites the existence of the internet without the widespread use of cell phones. This leads me to believe that she had to have ran during either the 1997 or 2001 cross-country seasons, when pre-nats and nationals were held at the Furman University golf course in South Carolina.

I was kind of thinking this too. Anyone have any information about the BC women's program during the late 90s/early 2000s?

Hmm, BC would be a valid guess, as there is no money for mens xc/t&f and there entire team is made up of walk-ons. And it does have a reputation for being a rich kid school, although academically, it is very strong. And then again, there are plenty of schools like that. I think it is kind of futile to try to guess the school to be honest. Afterall, it may be entirely fictional.

The only thing that's odd to me is that the mentioned pre-nats as the second meet of the year she runs.

Almost positive it's BC--their women's team had crazy ED issues in the early '00s and the coaches sound like RT and KF.

Hmm... well is there a cemetery that caught on fire near BC?

I find it extremely frustrating that so many people are saying that this must be fictional and that there is no way those parents are real.

Sadly, I believe both of those aspects to be only slightly exaggerated, if at all.

When I began reading this, I immediately wondered if it was a former teammate of mine doing the writing. This is our story. The past four years I have dealt with a coach who talks with you when you run well, gives you nick names when he's happy with you, doesn't talk with you when you are injured or not performing, makes horrible weight comments, does not coach the mental aspect of running, etc. Oh, and guess what? Our men's team (who has the same coach) has just as many eating disorders and competitive issues as the women's team does.

So, why didn't I transfer? Because the first three years I was on the right side. I was getting the nicknames, the attention, etc. I always found a way to justify the way my teammates were treated by believing our coach has our best interests in mind. No, he doesn't. He has told plenty of us that his job is safe no matter how well we do. He doesn't care. We're just replaceable parts with a 5 year warranty.

As other women have posted, mixed messages about eating have always been his MO. Some athletes need to get serious and lose weight, then all of a sudden he's "disgusted" with them for being "stupid enough" to develop an eating disorder. He gossips about how much weight an athlete has gained to other athletes on the team. Same can be said about gossiping about eating disorders.

Also, once a team member has an eating disorder, it's vicious and pulls in even the seemingly most healthy girls. Why? Because we want to be the best. When a girl gets so into running that she stops eating, that sends to us a signal that she wants it more than we do. So what do we do? We try and beat her at her game. Because that's the way it works. I want to run the most miles, at the highest intensity, lift the most, stretch the longest, do the most core, and eat the best out of any girl on my team. If someone is doing something I am not, then I am a failure. It's also an issue of control. When my workouts aren't going well, when my races aren't going well, when life seems out of control, I at least have that. Sick? Stupid? Irrational? Counter intuitive? Yes, I never said it wasn't. It's just the TRUTH.

As for parents- I had a teammate who was fairly successful in college. All conference, all region in xc, regional qualifier in track. She was built sturdier than your typical distance runner, but by no means overweight or even had a couple spare pounds to lose. She just was built differently, plain and simple. Her parents constantly told her she needed to lose weight, shouldn't wear buns, was a disappointment because of her weight (something they said she could control), and finally said they would stop coming to meets if she didn't lose weight. Obviously you can see where this went.

So, unfortunately this ended up being a novel, but I could really talk about it all day.

OH, also, I don't think the blogger is so ridiculous for having her 75 second rule. I do a version of the same thing. I know there are certainly more people who check to see what their first mile is and make a decision on how the run is going based on that.

A lot of guys on letsrun pretend they are superior to women because they don't understand them. Check yourself. You have stupid, ridiculous, toxic quirks, too. Just because you are unable to understand the way SOME women internalize pressure does not make you better or worse than them. Don't forget a lot of the issues that face women, face men too. Eating disorders are rampant among male distance runners, yet receive little attention. No one says the sick things about males with disorders that are said about women. I fully anticipate the things I have said to be torn apart, but please remember that we are all driven by the same passion, it just manifests itself in different ways among us.

Bravo to your entire post, midwest girl, and I hope you're doing alright.

midwest girl wrote:

As for parents- I had a teammate who was fairly successful in college. All conference, all region in xc, regional qualifier in track. She was built sturdier than your typical distance runner, but by no means overweight or even had a couple spare pounds to lose. She just was built differently, plain and simple. Her parents constantly told her she needed to lose weight, shouldn't wear buns, was a disappointment because of her weight (something they said she could control), and finally said they would stop coming to meets if she didn't lose weight. Obviously you can see where this went.

I'm very, very sorry to hear that.

Please understand that most fathers would cut out their own kidney with a butter knife if it were necessary to help their daughter.