Wildest Training Run Encounter

1) While going to school in Arkansas back in the 70's, I was out on a country road running a 12-miler with my friend. (Come to think of it, most roads in Arkansas are country roads.) We were both lost in thought, and my eyes were on the dirt just a few feet in front of me. And it was then that I saw the biggest copperhead snake I have ever seen (I've seen several). My stride pattern was such that, by the time I noticed the snake, there was almost nothing I could do to avoid stepping right on it. Tried to extend my lead leg several more inches, which allowed me to miss it, but nearly did the splits over it. After making it by, we both went back and I pinned it with a stick and forced its mouth open to show my friend (from California) what a copperhead's mouth looks like.

2) This is a post-run encounter. For one summer I was a counselor at a summer camp in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. Had just finished a run and went to the cabin/barracks bathroom for a good dump. Three stalls with no doors. Stall #1: no TP, so I move on to the second. Stall #2, no TP, so I move on to the third. Stall 3 has the blessed tissue, so I drop my shorts and am getting ready to sit down when I notice a copperhead coiled up on top of the toilet tank. Freeze. No longer have to take a shit. I slowly back away, grab a wooden-handled broom, and launch it in spear-fashion at the snake. Miss by a fraction; the broom slams into the wooden wall above the tank and bounces back to me; the snake goes into strike position. Throw a second time, closing my eyes, and hear a loud crash. I have shattered the toilet tank. The copperhead is on the ground, gashed near the throat and limp. Other male counselors hear the commotion and come running. We drag the snake to the middle of the bathroom to check out its fangs. Now imagine this: a half dozen 18 yr. old guys bent over in a tight circle around the snake, watching intently as the snake's mouth is pried open. I flip his fangs out with a stick, but in doing so the stick strokes the glands behind its fangs and a stream of venom shoots about 2 feet into the air! Six guys shriek together and nearly pee themselves.

During my time in high school there were two incidents involving guys and penises. The first was when a guy was changing and standing naked next to a guy sitting on the locker bench tying his shoes. A friend called to the standing naked guy and he turned quickly causing his schlong to slap the sitting guy across the cheek.

The second involved a guy sleeping on the bus with his head back and mouth open. Apparently the rest of ther team thought it would be funny if somebody flopped their piece in his mouth. This was duly done.

Running in Massachusetts. My friend and I were nearing the end of a run back toward the high school when this very large turkey ran out of the woods in front of us. It proceeded to lead us up the sidewalk for about 100M (I think it was taunting us) then it cut across the street. A few weeks later I saw it attacking a female runner as her husband kept trying to chase it off. Haven't seen it since Thanksgiving though.

Running at night one evening on some country roads just outside of town I noticed a light hovering above the ground about 100 meters. The light hovered for about two minutes. Then suddenly shot three smaller lights from the main source of light. The main light source then followed the smaller objects. No noise was heard from any of the UFO's. I am not saying that I believe in life from outerspace. I am just saying that I saw something very strange that night that I cannot explain.

Kingster wrote:The second involved a guy sleeping on the bus with his head back and mouth open. Apparently the rest of ther team thought it would be funny if somebody flopped their piece in his mouth. This was duly done.

i say ex-coach wins. i liked his stuff.

I like the one from the ex-coach. Almost pissed myself on hearing that one!

I do have an original one though. I was out running with my team mates and we came accross some no trespassing signs, which warned us to stay away from this lake because it was mating season for swans. We didn't really think a swan could harm us so we ran on. When we got to the far side of the lake this Swan comes swooping across from the other side. I absolutely shit myself and picked up a stick. It came on to the land though and kept coming at me until I ran off in to the nettles behind and got stung all over!!

Another wild run was a 13 mile run on the Isle of Man (British Isles) stopping at 8 pubs along the way for a beer in each. The last couple of miles were a real struggle!! And this was all after our morning race!!

a really cute thing happened to me during today's run on the trails. i was mindlessly going along (runner's high)when this little fat deer with white spots on its back pops out of the trees and starts running with me. well, it was actually hopping. we ran together for almost five minutes when it gets scared by a loud walker approaching us and scampers off into the trees. i still say that deer was one of the best running buddies i've ever had.

i hope it didn't have ticks. or rabies for that matter.

An after training story. Early -mid '80 was in Fresno CA for district xc and about midnight at the local 7-11 there was Regina/Ceci/PattiSue/Allison from the Stanford team. they had handfulls of snickers/kitkats/twinkies and lots of soda. always one to open month I said to Ceci What's Brooke going to think about you eating all this stuff. Her reply Oh great another jogger telling me what to do. NICE.

1) I spent a summer during college in France. While in

Chamonix (the Alps) I went for a very hilly run. At one

point I cross a no tresspassing sign (in French of

course) so that I could run on lush (but wet and steep)

grass. It seemed same and harmless since whatever animals usually grazed there were gone. Going downhill towards

the road, I was picking up a LOT of speed. I spot what

I thought was an open gate to cross back onto a paved

road. It was difficult to slow down on the steep wet grass

and I started to worry about painful foot slaps against

flat, hard parvement. As I get near the "opening" in

the gate I realize that BARBED WIRE was strung across

it. There was no time to rationally think whether I

should I attempt a hurdle or just hit the deck, but I subconsciously chose the later at the last possible

instant. I say last possible instant because

when it was over I was lying on my back and the front

of my shirt was caught on the bottom strand of the

barbed wire ... suspended a couple of feet above me as I

lay there unscathed and very relieved.

2) I needed to crap with EXTREME, DIARRHEAL urgency

about 10 miles into a long run. I was in a residential

neighborhood (in Amherst, MA), and I asked a man doing

yard work if I could use his bathroom. This good

Samaritan could sense the urgency of the situation and

let me in his home. It WAS a very nice clean house,

before this sweaty runner proceeded to unleash some

particularly rank turds which probably rendered their

bathroom useless for the rest of the afternoon. The man's

wife didn't seem too pleased with this invasion of her

household ... and she hadn't even been near the bathroom

yet. The last couple miles were light and breezy though.

Speaking of stinkiness:

3) I'm rounding a corner on a trail that cuts across a

steep hillside when I hear a loudly barking dog. When I

see the dog, which is being restrained by his owner, I'm

20 feet away. Halfway between us is a very unnerved

skunk, obviously feeling cornered and ready to unleash

a bomb. After a brief glance from the skunk I pulled

a quick 180 and smoothly accelerated away ... never to

know if the dog and owner ever got sprayed.

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during my last year in college i was rehabing a broken ankle and decided running would help - something i'd never done before. a group of my friends were training for a marathon, so i thought i'd join them. we were about 15 in number and did all of our training runs at night - around 10 or 11 o'clock.

well, apparently there was a tradition of something called the "full moon run," which is what you're thinking. supposedly done in the spirit of the early olympiads. on the full moons leading up to the marathon, we did a 2 mile warm up to the local country club, stashed our clothes at the first tee box, and then did a full circuit of the course in just our socks and shoes - about 5k. this went off for a few months without incident, and nothing much was said about it.

well, 6 weeks later i started my first teaching job, and the first day of class i'm doing the usual get acquainted routine. going student to student i'm asking names, where they're from, etc. i get to this girl who says, "oh, i live on the golf course." i respond "really, i run there sometimes."

her,"you better watch out, my parents have seen some naked freaks running out there recently."

me,"oh, i'll take care."

her dad was a local doctor on the school board, so i figured that i'd better opt out the next month.

the scary thing is that of that group there are now 5 doctors, one very successful attorney , an English professor at a major university, and a couple of guys with lucrative business careers - i opted out and ended up as a teacher and coach.

mzungu

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imposter!

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Kyle,

Good stuff. Here's another beauty. Not running related; but pretty rotten...

http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/breaking_news/5140829.htm

corning, NY,

sorry to hear of your road rage encounter. I've run in Corning before in the parks, Market St, and along the river towards Painted Post. Small industrial town where the cops think their shit don't stink. Corning's finest feels they're doing upstanding work by pulling over drivers doing 31 mph on the 30 mph Dennison Parkway.

A broken neck is some serious damage. There's got to be a few good attorneys in that dying town. Hire a relentless shark and find out what if any legal recourse you can seek against the "florist" or his employer. I'm sure something can be done if too much time hasn't passed, you have pictures, xrays, or can find an eye witness.

On a 10-miler one fine afternoon, me and a few of my fellow teamates were out on the trails, a few miles away from the school, when we saw I kid from our highschool in the woods, chasing his neighbors around with a pellet gun. We thought he was just pissing around with the kids, but he ended up shooting a kid in the eye, and blinded his one eye. The kid had a real fat-ass older brother who beat the living piss out of the guy. Which I saw the tail end of, as I was finishing my tempo run the following day.

don't let it die