The best one came from this hippie chick who I always saw around the small town I used to live in. She was outside some sandwich shop and saw me running directly at her. She looked me straight in the eyes with this demonic stare and said "running to somewhere...or running from SOMEONE?".
I thought about that prophetic line for the next 2 hours.
scuzzy lady at bus stop: how much?
me: for what?
lady: FOR YOU! (proceeds to laugh hysterically)
The classic one is "Hey, where are your pants?" answered by "I left them with your wife."
"I know Santa personally. I can give you his business card."
I don't even know what compelled her to say that.
"You run like you have a pork chop shoved up you ass!"
**your ass
sad...but.true. wrote:
"You run like you have a pork chop shoved up you ass!"
"Now there goes a ba-ony runner! All ba-ones and no ba-rains! Sa-omeone na-eeds a ba-rain for Ca-hristmas!"
-a very shrill dog-walker
We found some golf clubs laying by the side of the road while we were running in the hood and on our way back to our school we carried them past a house where the man outside yelled, "Brothas goin golfin?" just moments before the unchained pit bull on his porch atracked us.
A kid from a nearby school was attacked by a bum with a knife that wanted the track suit he was wearing on a run. He had to run back naked.
As I passed mile 18 in a marathon of 7,000 participants, a girl screamed, "Will you marry me?" That night I went out to eat and the waitress asked me if I ran the marathon. I told her I did and she proceeded to tell me how she saw a hot guy run by and asked him to marry her. I asked if he was wearing a bright green jersey. She excitedly said, "Yes!" I told her, "That was me." Her face went red and she suddenly became very shy. I was flattered and also got a good laugh
Little boy points to his friend and says "he wants to have sex with you!" I think they were younger than 10 years old.
Another time my teammate and I were flagged down by a few kids with a video camera and one of them says "can we ask you some questions about STDs?"
"Are you out of your f*ckin mind?!" some redneck yelled at me on a back road when it was snowing out
In high school, some guys on the team and I were running through town. We were crossing a street when a fat woman in a Pontiac yelled, "run, skinny boy, run!" To which I replied "sit, fat woman, sit!"
I was running in a rainstorm a few years ago, and a lady standing waiting for a bus yelled at me, "people die doing that, you know!" I yelled back, "people die doing that too, you know?"
Our standard back and forth with the football team in high school as we passed their practice field was something along the lines of, "hey, eat a burger," "hey, eat a salad."
Pretty much the same as many of these experiences.
One time I got a, "Yo, did I just see you over there?"
"Yup"
"Shit son, you got a goooood rhythm goin'"
It wasn't terribly funny, but amusing. I was running up a hill in a residential neighborhood and on two different occasions, some the same old guy (60+) shouted at me "Now you know why men rode horses" and another time he shouted "Next time, you should take the elevator."
"In my dreams I look like you when you're running" from a dude on a bike.
I have pretty bad form and I'm not terribly attractive. I am also a dude.
I've had a few.
Wanna climb in the hot tob? Asked by some milf who was accompanied by a couple of teenage girls (all were attractive). The hotub was right off the highway and plugged in by an extension cord; that was probably the craziest part of the story; however, I was also surprised by the question.
"whatchya training for?!!!....WALKING?!!!!"
"How'd you let them girls get in front of you?!" Our girls team started their run quite a bit before us, and this guy asked this in a very backwoods boomhauer accent. Nobody understood at first, but I was, magically, able to translate for the rest of the team.
Also, this one old man on my home street used to yell "You can slow down, nobody's chasing you" every time he saw me run past him.
Run Forrest Run
In high school I was on a recovery run with 6 teammates or so when a jacked up pickup truck starts driving slowly behind us.
He stayed behind us for about a mile while blaring the theme song to "Rocky".
No clue who the dude was, but it was awesome.
"you better keep running you f'ing Fgot or I'll smash your f'ing skull in".