Wildest Training Run Encounter

This may not be the wildest encounter, but I got a good laugh from it...

A few years back I was coaching cross and teaching at my old high school. Having gone there "back in the day" I knew all the trails in town. I shared what I knew with my athletes, leading them on many trail runs or following on my mountain bike.

I used to go on a 30 min jog during my free period (~10 AM) on some trails that were about a mile from the school, trails which my team frequented. One sunny October day, as I came up a hill, I saw a couple making out on a rock. Not a very comfortable spot for it, I have to say. At the last moment, the guy heard me coming, looked over his shoulder and his jaw just dropped. Turns out the guy was the captain of the basketball team. As he turned to look at me, I caught a glimpse of the girl underneath him--it was the captain of the cross country team. She shrieked in a way I can't describe and hid her face in her hands, like I hadn't already seen her or something. I kept right on running up the hill and didn't take a second look.

Since neither one of them was supposed to be out of school at that hour (the school was run like a jail, even I got in trouble for leaving campus during my free block), it made for an awkward scene later that day when to my amazement the girl showed up at practice. She couldn't look me in the eye for days. The guy I saw in the hallway the next day, when he saw me coming he became very interested in his shoes and started staring at them intently. Same reaction every time I saw him for the rest of the school year.

It ended up being our little secret. Neither one of them ever made any mention of it to me, ever. I considered making a joke with one of them about 4th period being their favorite, but thought better.

It was a setup! we're making a new reality show called...How bad would things have to get before you ate/drank this?

That ice cold Bud you were drinking was really Armadillo piss! HA HA HA

You guys were lucky, the week before we got you we were sticking frozen turds into Oh Henry wrappers before our trip out to the desert.

Running down a little side street. There was this big truck parked and a small pickup behind it. The guys in the pickup thought that they could see traffic coming, but failed to realize that people might be coming down the road in the grass.....we then saw a guy performing a very special act on another guy...

My freshman year of college, our coach took us up to some National Forest land for an easy run. Although a good portion of the land was public, there was also a good deal of private land up there. It was very distinguishable because every other tree had a sign that said "No Trespassing" or "Private Property." It was a well wooded area with some incredible dirt roads.

Since none of us thought of running as "trespassing" we ventured onto these private roads with the well marked gates telling us not to do so. Most of us were just running an hour, but two guys went a little longer. They took awhile to get back and coach was getting pissed thinking the guys were lost.

A little while later, a white Ford Ranger pickup comes screaming up towards our van with the two guys in the back. My two teammates were looking a little pissed off and scared at the same time. On the Ford's license plate, it had the marking signifying that this guy was a veteran. He apparently ran them down, got out of his truck and had a holster on around his waste and an Uzi in one hand. He was threatening them with all sorts of bodily harm and wanted to strip search them(you ever seen "Deliverance?"). They were wearing running shorts so why this guy wanted to strip search them, I can only guess. One of the guys Told Old Man Vet he wasn't going to allow him to put a hand on him, so that problem just went away. Apparently he had some handcuffs on him.

Old Man Vet puts the two guys in the back of his truck and drives them to our van where he begins to get into an argument with our coach.

I can't say we weren't in the wrong, but that guy was nuts. All I can figure is that he was either trying to protect a meth lab or his pot plants.

Aside from lots of animals and people having sex, I would say the following:

Running along at night through the university campus with a buddy and we see this guy pushing his girlfriend around. THen he kicks in a window in the engineering building.

I yell at the dude to back off of the girl just as a campus security guy drives up. While I am telling him what's up, the guy comes running up the lawn yelling something about "try to take me down".

Guy jumps up into the air major Kung-fu style and his foot clips my ear, while I simulateously duck and let loose with the haymaker. I knock the guy literally out of the air, and out cold.

As he starts to come to the cops arrive and do the whole hood slammin', full-on handcuff maneouver.

Cop asks my name for his report and I say something gay like "batman" [wearing black tights and jacket], and jog off.

About 10 years ago, I was running with 4 other people at one of these Chattahoochee River Trail parks in Atlanta and went up on these trails. I'd had vaguely heard that the park had a rep as being a gay hangout, but hadn't really given it a second thought (same with the other 4, I guess).

It's a cool midfall day and we're going at a good pace. We're zipping down this gradual hill when suddenly we hear this massive leaf-russling sound and there's these two guys near the bottom of this hill pulling up their pants and scrambling (one guy was on his knees, the other wasn't). Well, it sort of makes us jump and slow a bit. One of the four of us was this pretty fast masters woman and she started to say, fairly loudly, "Oh my God ..."

Well, at that point, from about 4 locations within about 50-100 yards of us, these guys are leaping up and scrambling away, either pulling clothes up or naked. One guy's wang was flopping all over the place, I recall, but people were scrambling in so many directions, through all these leaves and not even caring that they weren't on the trail and such, that it was hard to really watch any one person. We had stopped and one of the guys started laughing (even though he was breathing fairly hard). We just all started cracking up and getting on our own knees gasping for air while laughing and trying to get out of near-O2 debt at the same time. Meanwhile, we hear these disgusted "F--- yous" and "F-offs" coming from a couple of these guys as they ran away, which just made us laugh harder.

Later we found out that hardly anyone ran that section of the park anymore, that the gays had pretty much taken it over, so no wonder they were surprised. Probably used to people creeping in, finding a "hiding place" and going for it. Jeez, we talked about that whenever any of us got together for the next few years before most of us moved away.

Great thread.

Mine as follows:

(A)

Years ago in college, went for a supposed 12 mile "long run." 5 miles out, loop a ways through a park, and come back. Get lost in the park as it's getting dark. Make my way out of said park all turned around and run back in what I assume is the correct direction. 15 miles later, I'm at the payphone of a Ramada Inn in Aurora, IL, dehydrated, dizzy from the exhaust fumes after running on the side of a busy two lane highway, 20 miles from my apartment, dialing down the center for any of my friends that might pick up to come and rescue me. I sat out in the parking lot for an hour, no shirt, just running shorts and shoes, trying to look nonchalant as I waited for reinforcements and eating ice chips from the ice machine to quench my ravenous thirst. What a knucklehead.

(B)

This doesn't quite rank up there with wild animal sightings, but I've got a growing collection of "Celebrities Who Yielded the Right of Way" to me while I was running:

Malcom MacDowell

Giovanni Ribisi

Ray Liotta

Maybe that beats the guy who saw a skunk.

In the middle of a 12 miler on a summer day I found a porno magazine..but did not take it because I still had like 6 miles to run..told a friend about it though and later he came back with it..I was like you need a girlfriend!!

I've got two stories for ya...

1)This one didn't directly happen to me, but I was somewhat of a witness. One summer, about four or five years ago, my teammates and I lived and worked for the summer at YMCA of the Rockies in Colorado. One of my teammates left for a run by himself for an easy 5 miles or so. An hour later, we were worried... thinking maybe a mountain lion or somethin got him. over 3 hours later, he comes jogging up to our living quarters. Apparently he went over one ridge and then got lost. I would say that 3 or so hours is just a few more than 5 miles.

2)1996 state meet in Indiana at Conner Prairie... I was coming out of the back loop when, from the left, a deer pops up out of a field, runs straight for the crowd lining the cours, splits them, then runs directly into me knocking flat on my rear. My team may of only gotten eighth place, but we had some great stories to go along with it.

Fear the Deer

Erik

1) My running partner dog was chasing critters in the woods and returned with dozens of porcupine needles in her nose. She finished the run with her nose held up proudly.

2) One dark stormy night I went out for a run (dog refused to go). I thought the thunder and lightning were in the far south and I had nothing to worry about except getting wet. On a hilly, muddy, wooded road the lightning struck on my left and then on the right. My illumiNITE reflective jacket lit up like it never has before. I was certain that it was attracting the lightning so I took it off and raced for home.

I have a couple:

1. Taking a shortcut on a gravel country road, I rounded a corner and saw a woman with her shorts around her ankles, squatting and in a full pissing mode. She seemed a little startled and suprised to see me when I passed her.

2. On a trail run in northern WI I kept hearing this god awful shreiking sound for about 15 min. could not figure out what it could be. As I crested a hill, a large black bear darts out from the trees with a small fawn in its mouth.

I also had a college teamate, who when on trail runs would dart ahead of the group and look for animal feces, pick it up, and whip it at some unsuspecting freshman as they ran by. That made for a few interesting runs.

I was on the road a few summers ago with a church trip, and we stayed in Rapid City (?) South Dakota. Well, it was about 10 p.m. when we rolled in, and I had yet to run, so I took off from the hotel and ran through the city. As I was returning to the hotel, I ran past a guy who obviously was part of a gang or something. Anyway, as I approached him, he put his hand behind his back and grabbed something. I just ran by, said hi to the guy, he said hi back, and I didn't turn around to find out what he was holding.

And then there was the time I came upon two turtles mating. That was just weird.

I remember the morning when the news of Princess Di's death was on every tv station...

I'm not a royal family fan, so instead of being glued to the tube I went for an early morning run. The sun was rising in the east and the clouds had a eerie but beautiful pinkish tint to them. One cloud covered up the sun, and as I looked up - no shit, that cloud developed into shape of a three-pronged crown or tiera.

It was visable for another few minutes before it dissipated like clouds eventually do, and I had a very strange feeling for the rest of the run. I wondered why Di was trying to get in touch with ME.

depauw alum wrote:

2)1996 state meet in Indiana at Conner Prairie... I was coming out of the back loop when, from the left, a deer pops up out of a field, runs straight for the crowd lining the cours, splits them, then runs directly into me knocking flat on my rear. My team may of only gotten eighth place, but we had some great stories to go along with it.

Fear the Deer

Erik

I think I remember seeing a newspaper article on that, or a similar incident.

Hinderloppet wrote:

When I was in High School, I went for my usual 6am morning run. About half way through the run this goat started following me...I guess I must have ran the goat pretty hard, because as we were trying to put the goat in the back of the squad car, he puked grass clippings & hay all over the back seat of the car. Must have been a nice drive back to the station.

This reminded me of a story my XC coach told me about one of his former runners. The guy was out for a run in the country when he hears a strange sound behind him. Turns around and realizes it's a goat running along behind him. The guy assumes the goat has come from a nearby farmhouse. he tries to get the thing to go back or stay, but it doesn't. So eventually he keeps on running and the goat goes along for the run. After awhile the goat must be getting tired or something because it starts nudging/butting the guys legs. The guy keeps going and the goat gets tired and fades off.

So the guy gets back to his dorm but starts feeling guilty about leaving the goat out in the middle of nowhere. So he gets in his car and goes out to see if he can find the thing but has no luck. He comes up to a farmer and asks the guy if he's happened to see a lone goat out anywhere. The farmer's response?

"No, I haven't...but the strangest thing...earlier I saw some guy out RUNNING with one."

I was a few miles from the end of a longish run in a giant state park when a stray dog happily began running with me. I did the final few miles with the dog, who wouldn't leave my side. He loved me. I was talking to him the whole time, the whole works. My new best friend. The moment I stopped, he bit me.

This happened to me about a month ago. I was running after dark on a local HS track when a security guard showed up with his flashlight and told me I had to leave. I only had a couple more intervals to go so I asked if I could finish really quick, and there were always people on the track after dark anyway, so could I just have another 15 minutes. He said no so I started to walk off the track. I was kind of pissed and he said something to me that totally set me off, and I told him I thought it was BS that I had to leave.

He then gets into power-trip mode and demands ID. I told him I didn't have any, and he went nuts. I just kept walking away, and he kept chasing me. When I asked him why he wouldn't let me leave he said it was because I "gave him attitude". What? I'm almost 34, not 18, so get over it. He then told me if I didn't stop he would call for backup. I didn't stop, because I didn't think I had done anything wrong -- I left when he told me to. The backup shows up, and again they demand ID, and I tell him no. He then wants my name, and I tell him no -- I didn't do anything wrong.

He then threatens to call the city cops, and I tell him to go ahead. Two squads show up a few minutes later, and those guys were really cool. I told them what had happened, and here is how the conversation finished:

Cop1: So all we had was a verbal altercation?

Me: Yes, that was it.

Cop2 to rent a cop: He didn't touch you or physically harm you in any way?

Rent a cop: No.

Both cops then let out a sigh and rolled their eyes. Needless to say they let me go. But it wasn't over yet. The security guy got my name, and I got a letter in the mail saying I was banned from school grounds. I of course called the head of security and got it rescinded. Of course, last night I'm running by the track and it's almost dark, and people are all over it! Where was the security guy? I hate it when people are inconsistent.

Once witnessed a carjacking. I was running in the nearly empty streets of south Tucson on a dark rainy morning. I woman was stopped at a red light about 100m in front of me.

A guy comes running from the side of the road, opens her door, and starts punching the hell out of her. After a couple seconds he shoves her over into the passenger seat and gets in the car. By now Im out of shock mode, and into Ive got to do something mode, so I grab a big rock from a yard and start running toward the car just hoping this guy doesnt have a gun, which was stupid because EVERYONE in south Tucson has a gun. He is in the drivers seat now, and he sees me, and turns the car towards me to run me down. I dive behind a fence, and he peels off.

Noone else saw it, the streets were empty. I ran home and called the police, but of course I couldnt remember anything useful, not even what kind of car it was.

I watched the news for several days, hoping there wouldnt be a report of some woman murdered found in an abandoned car, but there never was anything about it.

I still like CO-runners story about the senior citizens asking about the Grand Canyon while several states away as the 'contest' winner to date. There've been some wonderful encounters so far, many w/a not-unusual sex theme that deserve space like this and others about animals.

Tomorrow about this time I'll post my picks for the Top 10 encounters. Between now and then will come up w/one of my own. This'll be hard as nothing ever cool happens to me. Ever. Except that one time.