Company Christmas Party Stories

omg look at that thang wrote:

Met a girl and we got talking. I could tell she was in to me and very drunk. A couple hours went by and she said she had a boyfriend. We ended up in a closet and she gave me a b j. Later we left the party with a few other coworkers and her boyfriend showed up. It was very awkward meeting him and acting like nothing happened between me and his girlfriend. I remember shaking his hand and saying nice to meet you Weldon. I don't know to this day if she ever told him.

A story by ex-Employee #1.

The first year on the job I blacked out and firehosed a coworkers bathroom after the open bar holiday party then immediately exposed myself to a gathering in the living room while saying, "Here's where the real party is at." The roommate to the coworker noticed all this and violently wrestled me outside and to the ground. I heard all about it on Monday morning for the first time from several coworkers.

It was Christmas of '08 and my office decided to celebrate things in a non-traditional way. The planners decided to make it a Morrocan themed party. Lots of alcohol and even a guy on a water pipe.

A little background for me: When I was in college, I used to get wicked hammered. I would chug a fifth of So-Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots on myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So-Co, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I'd let it affect my grades, but I aced all my classes. They called me "Ace" It was totally awesome. I got straight B's. They called me "Buzz".

Anyway, one of the older ladies in the office got so smashed that she lit her hair on fire without even knowing it. My boss decided to try to perform an intervention right during the middle of the party. When that failed he even tried to commit her to rehab.

I ended up having a great time learning some tunes on the sitar, which my fiance' totally dug.

My wife's company had a BYOB policy for their get together one year and I was going to show these folks how to drink REAL beer so I brought a four-pack of Guiness. Everyone was impressed with my selection, as I hoped, but I ended up heading to the car early and puking a couple of times while waiting for my wife to finish the minimum acceptable appearance.

I don't know how I got so drunk that fast but I'm just happy it wasn't my own company party.

Lightweight wrote:

My wife's company had a BYOB policy for their get together one year and I was going to show these folks how to drink REAL beer so I brought a four-pack of Guiness. Everyone was impressed with my selection, as I hoped, but I ended up heading to the car early and puking a couple of times

You got exactly what you deserved.

I may be in the minority, but I find Christmas parties with co-workers to be pretty lame. At my last job, I really did not want to hang out with many of the people I worked with. Felt forced into having fun. Would have preferred the money the company spent per person in a bonus.

Last year I just hung out with coworkers and hit on the waitress, but the next day a hot older coworker was complimenting me on my dancing skills and how wild I'd been. Either someone at my company looks a lot like me, in which case I wonder what other shenanigans he gets up to, or I blacked out and danced with the Filipina factory workers all night.

Big John wrote:

might be wejo wrote:

I think you have one too many "wah"s. Its wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Depends on which game show you grew up on. The Price Is Right for instance had four short wahs followed by a long dramatic wah.

It's funny because it's true!

The company had rented a suite for use AFTER the official very boozey party had concluded for those that wished to go longer. I walked in to the suite with a woman that was my peer on the corp ladder. There was a guy on the conference table in his underwear doing lunges, while others were cheering him on. We looked around the room, realized we were the senior managers in the whole crowd, turned around and walked out and pretended we had never seen a thing.

Diff year. I rented a room at the hotel that had the party. Many others did the same. The room had a sitting room in front with a hall to the bedroom. The sitting room had large windows and sheer drapes looking out onto the central hall/atrium. Next morning I am standing naked by the outside window(10th floor or so) watching planes land at nearby runway. Some of my staff (no pun) was banging on the door telling me to come to breakfast. wondered how the knew what room I was in. I ignored them and pretended to be sleeping. I leave the room an hour or so later and look back through the hall windows as walking away. You could see clear as anything all the way through the suite and to the place I was wathching the planes. Awkward Monday.

I'm sure replacing you given name with Ace, Puke or Buzz will add much needed panache to your c.v. Hell using all three might get your resume to the top of the pile.

Dear Mr. Ace "Puke" Buzz Assclown we see no need to even interview you. Your SockoBoffo over the top resume sold us on you instantly. Your $500,000a year plus liberal stock options, corner office with corporate jet and chauffered limo job awaits you.

The Senior Partners at WEBEIDJETSdot.Com

A PeterLemongello BusinessPlan wrote:

I'm sure replacing you given name with Ace, Puke or Buzz will add much needed panache to your c.v. Hell using all three might get your resume to the top of the pile.

Dear Mr. Ace "Puke" Buzz Assclown we see no need to even interview you. Your SockoBoffo over the top resume sold us on you instantly. Your $500,000a year plus liberal stock options, corner office with corporate jet and chauffered limo job awaits you.

The Senior Partners at WEBEIDJETSdot.Com

Hey, say what you will but I'm a Cornell grad. Again this was back in '08. since then, I have been promoted to regional manager of our Scranton branch. The downside though was that I did lose my fiance to a co-worker.

If I knew you attained the post of Scranton Regional Branch Manager at so tender an age I would not have posted those remarks. Please forgive me.

No problemo, Peter. I would have gotten back sooner, but I'm on a boat trip and communication has been iffy.

My Christmas party is today at lunch. We have an annual Christmas burrito party every year. It is probably the best day of the year.

What a stupid fvcking post. There's no way you did all that. You sound like you have memory problems... you're one of those people who looks back on high school/college and thinks you were cool, when in reality, you were a huge loser. Typical runner dweeb. You think you can brag about how much alcohol you can drink on here and someone will believe it? Nope. Not gonna happen. You didn't drink all that. No one called you buzz or ace. They probably called you dumbarse or dipsh!t. Society is going down the drain.

You are so off base. You can't recognize a joke post which directly quotes a popular tv show (The Office)

This is from the Andy character on the Office:

"When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of So Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-o shots, do some body shots off myself... Pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So Co, head to class. Probably would've got expelled if I had've let it affect my grades but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz."

Strange Times wrote:

You are so off base. You can't recognize a joke post which directly quotes a popular tv show (The Office)

This is from the Andy character on the Office:

"When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of So Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-o shots, do some body shots off myself... Pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So Co, head to class. Probably would've got expelled if I had've let it affect my grades but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz."

Ummmm... Sir Brilliance, look at his name. You've been served a heaping pile. If you have any balls at all, you'll respond again and take your humiliation like a man. I predict you won't respond at all.

Strange Times wrote:

You are so off base. You can't recognize a joke post which directly quotes a popular tv show (The Office)

Bro... you fell for that hook, line, and sinker. The FIRST thing you do when someone fails to recognize an obvious reference and responds vigorously is check their name. You failed, bro. You gave him exactly what he wanted.

I love being trolled. To troll and be trolled is the my raison d'etre