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...your toenails are black.
...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does.
...you need a magnifying glass to see your name in the paper.
...you have chafing in strange places.
...people say, "You run three miles...at once?"
...all your socks are either stained or torn.
...your underwear covers more than your uniform shorts.
...you run farther in a week than your bus travels for meets.
...the dogs have to hurry to keep up.
...you find yourself running between classes just because.
...the most enjoyable time you've had all month is a day off from practice.
...your coach won't give you a ride home.
...the first day of practice you run 5 miles but your coach says you only ran 2.
...you can spit while running.
...you go to a golf course to run.
...your friends go on the elevator and you beat them on the stairs.
...you finish the race looking like you wrestled a bear and you don't care.
...your temper is shorter that the distance that you ran.
...you'd rather run to school than drive.
...you combine phrases like "10 mile run" and "Easy Run" in the same breath.
...you can eat your weight in spaghetti.
...your highest heels are your training shoes.
...you debate the advantages of anti-perspirent vs. deoderant.
...the paint from the bathroom walls peels when you leave.
...you start the race in shorts and finish in a G-string.
...your spit strings from you chin and you don't even care.
...a meal involves more than 3 servings!
...if you schedule dates around meets.
...you spend more on training clothes than school clothes.
...you wear those same training clothes to school regularly.
...your christmas list includes more than one pair of running shoes.
...you've been to a golf course in every city but not to play golf.
...your entire family goes to X-C meets because they have been or will be on the team.
...your chest is as flat as your back.
...you feel lost without your water-bottle.
...you have running withdrawl if you don't run everyday.
...you eat spaghetti three times a day.
...the mile in P.E. becomes your warm-up.
...you wake up every morning in pain.
...gatorade is your drug of choice.
...you give up homecoming to go to a Meet.
...your Saturdays for the next 4 years are ruined.
...you can see your ribs thru your shirt.
...you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
...you were asked to be an extra for Schindler's List II.
...you enjoy running hills.
...you start to crave Power Bars.
...your favorite food group is carbohydrates.
...your women's team has leg hair longer than the grass they ran on.
...you can strip and change in a bus seat in less than 2 minutes.
...you don't puke your first day of basketball practice.
...there are no flies by your gym locker.
...people think it's a winter sport.
...you have trouble benching the bar.
...when you do bad you get to play longer.
...you find yourself in the middle of a football player's joke.
...your dessert is brussel sprouts.
...you foam at the mouth.
...you are always hungry.
...your running in your dreams.
...you have no life besides running.
...your weekends are shot.
...you wake up with cotton mouth.
...your are as skinny as a twig and have a stupid knit cap for the head.
...you can sharpen an axe blade on your calves.
...the cafeteria ladies look good in the morning.
...you can maintain a 5:30 pace uphill while throwing up.
...you think track is for wussies.
...you try to impress girls by saying you're a fast finisher.
...you consider school as just a break between runs.
...you always stretch while waiting in the lunch line.
...your room smells like Icy-Hot and New-Skin.
...you are bankrolling your physical therapist's next vacation.
...your girlfriend can bench more than you.
...you can count all your ribs.
...you own spandex in more than 1 color.
...track is the other "sport".
...you foam at the mouth everytime you see a big hill.
..."Chariots of Fire" is actually entertaining to you.
...a 12 mile run is an easy day.
...pizza, pasta, pizza, & pasta are your four food groups.
...your watch is more expensive and complicated than your car.
...even your dress shoes have spikes.
...Runner's World provides more pin-ups than Playboy (YEAH SUZY HAMILTON!!!)
...Steve Prefontaine's Birthday is more important than yours.
...you aspire to pain.
...you know as many kinds of pain as eskimos have words for snow.
...you think spandex is a winter's passion statement.
...you never look behind you.
...you don't know what an "off-season" means.
...you have stress fractures.
...you find yourself saying, "it's not really a hill..."
...you hit targets with your snot rocket.
...your feet are comparable to rawhide.
...you're running and you don't know why.
...you see a hill on a putting green.
...your friends refer to you as "the masochist".
...your spit hits everything but the ground.
...you drink more water than Free Willy
...you can't get the "All you can eat" at spaghetti restaurants
...you get pulled over after practice, and can't walk straight because you're so tired
...you ran sub 5 on the P.E. mile run
...you wore spikes on the P.E. mile run
...you did a 30 minute warm up for the P.E. mile run
...you did all of the above for the P.E. mile run
...you routinely race dogs down the street...and win.
...dogs follow you everywhere you go
...you rabbit for the rabbit
...you have 3% or less body fat
...you laugh at sprinters while they run
...theres nothing like intervals to start the week off fresh!!
...you talk to your coaches more than your parents
...you'd rather run than watch T.V.
...watching the New York Marathon on T.V. made you get up and go for a run
...you can say "I like to run" in over five different languages
...more than half the people you know don't know what X-C is
...you run the day after State
...off-season training starts a week after State
...you haven't had a pop in 6 months
...your calves are bigger than your biceps
...your cookie jar is filled with bagels
...there are more miles on your running shoes than the odeometer of your car
...you try to pick up a girl by telling her how fast your first mile is
...you're toe nails are fallen off
...a fatman with a gun says alright gentlemen take em off
...you can't go a day without some little brat saying run forest run
...some little kid wants to know why you're running in your underwear
...you can pronounce those funny Kenyan names
...you're proud that another team has quadrupled you're score
...the seniors assist the freshman into the lake
...you wear skimpier clothes than Madonna
...you refer to puke as a normal bodily function
...people always ask you what events you are running
...you can hallucinate and get high at the same time without taking anything
...you can say more names of your runs than names of your friends
...you spend more time thinking about the scoring system than you do about scoring with
the opposite sex
...you always win in your sleep but never in a real race
...you traded in your Gremlin
...you think Lisa Aguilera is hotter than Christina Aguilera.
...you wake up in the morning and find that you?re already running.
...the Ritz is your idol, and not a hotel in New York.
You've do strides (instead of pop some "no-doze"... or you do strides on "no-doze") at a rest area at 6AM (after an all-night drive), providing interesting entertainment to awaking truckers.
You have a very distinct "watch tan"
...and sports bra tan (for the ladies) and shorts tan, i.e. your thighs are as white as your rear
Your sport is other sports' punishment
Your heart rate is below 50 and you are not dying
You have some nasty veins in your feet and ankles
If you turn to the side and stick your tongue out, you somehow resemble a zipper
Ibuprofen is your recreational drug of choice.
You know the distance to and from work/the gym/the local taqueria down to the closest 100 yards.
Talking about the color of your piss comes as natural as talking about the weather.
Your room looks like Imelda Marcos' shoe closet.
You have no qualms about taking a Sharpee and writing all over a brand new pair of $80 shoes.
You have no qualms about throwing out those same shoes only a month after buying them.
You can bounce quarters off your stomach but you have no abs.
You get a haircut before a race but not before a big date.
Your feet look like you've spent 10 years in a Vietnamese POW camp.
You eat 5 squares a day and limit snacking to 5 times a day too.
You know how many grams of carbs there are in a banana.
You wash your shorts in the shower.
You look into the toilet before a big race to inspect the size of the log you just dropped.
....every road you drive on you think what a great hill workout this would be.
....a football game has 12:57 remaining and all you think is that would be awesome if that was my 5k PR.
....you don't laugh everytime you hear fartlek.
....National collegiate "powerhouses" are Colorado, Stanford, and Arkansas....not Florida St, Miami, and Oklahoma.
....YOU are planning a trip to Terre Haute this fall for ANY REASON at all!!!
you are from the US and you think in terms of meters not feet or yards
you can look at a grass field and guess its circumference almost exactly
all your white shirts have mud spots up the back of them
while everyone is sleeping you are up running, and while everyone is awake you are sleeping
you are up watching ESPN at 2am (when they actually show the race coverage)
you know every PR you have ran at every distance, even your friends', teammates', and idols' PRs.. to the tenth of a second... not to metion the splits you ran in that killer speed workout a couple of weeks back...but you have trouble remembering things like your phone number or your mom's birthday
you have 5% bodyfat yet you dont live in Somalia
you feel one second is a lot of time
People are always asking if you're sick
You're insulted when someone mentions how healthy you look
You understand the speed limit signs in Canada
You can name a person from Namibia, Djibouti and Zimbabwe
You've said "she'd be one hell of a pole vaulter" at a strip club
The only key on the computer you know by heart is the colon
Your school notebooks are covered with split times
your pin number is 6214, 42195, or ends in "59"
"Forrest Gump" really pissed you off (like he wouldn't have gotten shin splints)
You know more about the treadmills than anyone who works at the gym
The doctor fell asleep during your stress test
You buy a box of cereal for each day of the week
On trips you gauge distance left by how many "long runs" it equals
4 minutes is a sacred duration of time
When you walk you take 3 steps as you exhale, 3 as you inhale...
WASHING YOUR SHORTS WHILE YOU SHOWER....Good One! I thought it was only me!
I just jump into the bath/shower with my singlet and shorts still on, then dump liquid soap all over.
You can't remember the last time you had 10 toenails
A toilet is not involved in a significant percentage of your trips to the bathroom
You're a guy, you weigh 140 pounds, and you're trying to lose weight