• Runner19013
      • I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 5:56PM
      • Runner19013
      • I currently run in college. In high school I loved my team and we all got along great. Now in college I hate my teammates. It's not that we fight or anything, but everyone is extremely immature, can't hold a conversation on runs, and is very annoying- at least the other freshman/sophomores I have been running with as they are the only ones that match my ability. I just don't know if I can take it any longer. I've started to feel like I should quit the team and run unattached/ train alone. I just don't want to regret quitting over something so trivial, but they are making it miserable. Has anyone ever been in the same situation?
    • another college genius at lrc
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 6:00PM - in reply to Runner19013
      • another college genius at lrc
      • Be polite and bear with them. Then come to letsrun for your intellectual challenges instead.
    • Mr. Mann
      registered
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 8:02PM - in reply to Runner19013
      • Mr. Mann
        registered
      • Give it time....people grow up a lot between freshman and sophmore years. You'll all figure it out. It's an adjustment for all of you especially if you were super close to your HS teammates. But you are changing too....if you could go back to your HS team it would not be the same. Don't expect them to be like your HS team. Just listen to your coach, train, race, and the rest will work itself out😊
    • Alan Bennet
      registered
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 9:26PM - in reply to Runner19013
      • Alan Bennet
        registered
      • Step 1. For each teammate that you hate, try to find just *one* thing that you like about them. You might have to look real hard to find just one insignificant trait or whatever. Just find it. Then whenever you think of the person, think of that one thing at the same time.

        Step 2. For each teammate that you hate, try to find one topic that really interests them and that they know something about. Then when you are on a run with that person, bring up that topic. No need to be phony, just ask a question or mention some related fact that was in the news or whatever. Then let them do most of the talking.

        Step 3. Try to find out one thing about yourself that some or all of your teammates find annoying. Then try to make yourself less annoying. Within reason of course - if for example you are religious you can't just give that up because they are atheists. But you can find something to work on.

        By the time you get through step 3, you will have graduated.
    • RunNer19013
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 9:47PM - in reply to Alan Bennet
      • RunNer19013
      • Thanks for this, everyday I try and talk to them while running about things I know that they are interested in. The problem is, it's like talking to brick wall. I will mostly do 90% of the talking on runs(not by choice) and will have to pull a conversation out of them. Not that I expect to be having a conversation the whole 60+ min run, but if I didn't say anything they would go the whole time running in complete silence. I guess I will just continue to work on making conversation and hope that someone eventually will come out of their shell.

        -I don't mean this in a conceded way whatsoever, I am just sick of basically talking to myself/running in silence and getting one word answers. I also don't think it helps that they seem to kinda expect me to make the conversation, ask them about their day, etc. as I have been doing that for the past 5+ months and no one ever asks me in return.
    • Lurker
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 10:21PM - in reply to RunNer19013
      • Lurker
      • Dude, take the hint.

        If you can't figure out who the loser in the room is, it is probably you.

        Try toning it down for a few weeks. See how that goes.
    • Alan Bennet
      registered
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 10:24PM - in reply to RunNer19013
      • Alan Bennet
        registered
      • Okay I have a new thought. Maybe they have a different idea about what is a "short" pause in a conversation. Like you are from New York City and they are from Atlanta. So you say something, and they don't reply in a "reasonable" time frame, so you say something else.

        You are thinking: "Why don't they say something? I have to carry the whole conversation!"

        They are thinking: "Why won't he wait for me to reply? He won't shut up! I can't get a word in edgewise."

        Next time, say something, and no matter what, don't say anything else until after someone else speaks. See what happens.
    • Les
      registered
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/1/2017 10:53PM - in reply to Runner19013
      • Les
        registered
      • It appears you are trying to carry over your high school experience to college. In high school your teammates were also your friends. In college this is not necessarily so. Don't force your expectation on your teammates. If they want to be friendly they will be. If not, let it go. It's a different situation than high school.
    • Tgirl
      registered
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:22AM - in reply to RunNer19013
      • Tgirl
        registered
      • RunNer19013 wrote:
        -I don't mean this in a conceded way whatsoever, I am just sick of basically talking to myself/running in silence and getting one word answers.
        Maybe you have conceded. Maybe you meant to say conceited. At any rate no one is perfect. Try to cut your team mates some slack. I bet you could find common ground with them if you tried.
    • Old Man Winter1
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:27AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • Old Man Winter1
      • Runner19013 wrote:
        I currently run in college. In high school I loved my team and we all got along great. Now in college I hate my teammates. It's not that we fight or anything, but everyone is extremely immature, can't hold a conversation on runs, and is very annoying- at least the other freshman/sophomores I have been running with as they are the only ones that match my ability. I just don't know if I can take it any longer. I've started to feel like I should quit the team and run unattached/ train alone. I just don't want to regret quitting over something so trivial, but they are making it miserable. Has anyone ever been in the same situation?
        Stop pushing the pace!
    • somebloke
      registered
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:45AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • somebloke
        registered
      • Runner19013 wrote:
        I currently run in college. In high school I loved my team and we all got along great. Now in college I hate my teammates. It's not that we fight or anything, but everyone is extremely immature, can't hold a conversation on runs, and is very annoying- at least the other freshman/sophomores I have been running with as they are the only ones that match my ability. I just don't know if I can take it any longer. I've started to feel like I should quit the team and run unattached/ train alone. I just don't want to regret quitting over something so trivial, but they are making it miserable. Has anyone ever been in the same situation?
        just find your clique and you will be fine. you don't have to get along with everyone.
    • HiJack
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:48AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • HiJack
      • First, you'll be amazed at the rate of turn over on a collegiate team. so chances are 1 or 2 of those guys won't be around for long. Second, running in college is one of the best experiences you can have. You are truly running with and racing your peers. Your age allows you to be at the height as an athlete. You have time to train and facilities provided that you will never have again. It's the highest level of competition in which you will ever get to compete ('cause you ain't goin to the Olympics).

        Suck it up buttercup. Nobody said your teammates have to be your soul mates. Just go train and race and soak it all in; pretty soon you'll graduate and be at some desk job.
    • Deadstream
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:50AM - in reply to RunNer19013
      • Deadstream
      • RunNer19013 wrote:
        I also don't think it helps that they seem to kinda expect me to make the conversation, ask them about their day, etc. as I have been doing that for the past 5+ months and no one ever asks me in return.
        Why are you running with the men's team???
    • canucks lost out
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:50AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • canucks lost out
      • Runner19013 wrote:
        I currently run in college. In high school I loved my team and we all got along great. Now in college I hate my teammates. It's not that we fight or anything, but everyone is extremely immature, can't hold a conversation on runs, and is very annoying- at least the other freshman/sophomores I have been running with as they are the only ones that match my ability. I just don't know if I can take it any longer. I've started to feel like I should quit the team and run unattached/ train alone. I just don't want to regret quitting over something so trivial, but they are making it miserable. Has anyone ever been in the same situation?
        No worries they probably hate you too.
    • NotPC
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 8:54AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • NotPC
      • Sometimes you just need to toss stuff up against the wall to see if it makes sense and often saying something out loud brings the situation into focus and gets it out of your head.

        So say it out loud:
        "I quit my college XC team because nobody talked on long runs."
    • Bodily Fluids
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 9:24AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • Bodily Fluids
      • Do your teammates not hold conversations on runs because they are running or because they don't talk much?

        I had several teammates in college who I have had hours of conversations with but once we hit the trails conversations with them were short and quick. Some people just don't like to talk while running, or exercising for that matter.

        As for the immaturity issue. Your college years, especially your freshman and sophomore years, is quite possibly the last time to be immature and get away with it (to an extent that is). My teammates and I did some really, really stupid stuff during those years. As we progressed through college the more mature we got. So just give them time to come around and don't be too uptight to join in with them from time to time. Who knows maybe that could lead to better conversations on runs.

        Good luck to you and hope you stick with the team. You'll regret it if you don't.
    • ukathleticscoach
      registered
    • da man
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 9:44AM - in reply to Runner19013
      • da man
      • Runner19013 wrote:
        I currently run in college. In high school I loved my team and we all got along great. Now in college I hate my teammates. It's not that we fight or anything, but everyone is extremely immature, can't hold a conversation on runs, and is very annoying- at least the other freshman/sophomores I have been running with as they are the only ones that match my ability. I just don't know if I can take it any longer. I've started to feel like I should quit the team and run unattached/ train alone. I just don't want to regret quitting over something so trivial, but they are making it miserable. Has anyone ever been in the same situation?
        This is why many men's teams have been 'caught' using overtly sexual language re: their female teammates. You gotta talk about something during those mind-numbing 60+ mins runs.

        No one wants to talk about Trump, etc. but if you say, '...Jessica has a nice _ss...' your virtually guaranteed to get a response :)
    • Lurker
      • RE: I hate my teammates! 2/2/2017 9:49AM - in reply to da man
      • Lurker
      • Do your teammates go to parties, drink beers, etc.? If they do, and you don't, part of the issue may be that you are an outsider in some ways and when you try to engage in conversation, it feels forced to them and they clam up. Again, maybe if you took it down a notch, and engaged them socially outside of a team environment, and followed their lead in that setting, you would have more common ground on runs.