Just last week, I had an extremely awkward conversation about Dean Karnazes. I overheard two of my co-workers, Alison and Greg, talking in front of the water cooler. Alison said to Greg: "Have you heard about that guy running, like, a marathon a day? Wow, that's really amazing."
Upon hearing the comment, I jumped out of my chair and sprinted over to the water cooler. "What the f*** is a matter with you!?!? That guy is a joke," I screamed.
"Oh," replied a shocked Alison. "I...I...just read about the guy in the paper, and he...."
I cut her off. "Shut the f*** up! That 'guy' you are talking about is named Dean Karnazes!! He is a publicity hound. He doesn't care about running."
At this point, Greg (unwisely) decided to enter the conversation. "Wow. I thought you would like the guy because you are a runner. I mean, I thought..."
Before Greg could finish his thought, I picked up the five-gallon water jug and smashed Greg across the head, knocking him to the ground. "You thought I would like the guy BECAUSE I AM A RUNNER?!?," I yelled. "Dean runs 8 minutes a mile! That is not running; that is jogging. The mere existence of Dean Karnazes is offensive to everything I stand for."
At this point, Alison started to run away. I used my 5-minute mile speed to catch her before she could get to the front door. I pinned her to the ground and started screaming some more: "Dean is nothing. HE IS NOTHING. I would kill him in a 5K." Then, I started sobbing. "I should be on the cover of runner's world, not him. It's not fair!!"
Before I knew it, the building security guy came in and had me in handcuffs. He thought he was so tough. But he must have weighed 230 pounds. I would absolutely own his ass in a 5K. Stupid idiot.
Anyway, I have to admit that the whole event was pretty awkward.